How do I find a purpose when I dont know what I want ?

Holy shit. I was literally talking about this with my room mate a couple weeks ago... I ended up coming with the same exact term -- Consumer (which still sounds bad). Although I used consumer and producer as the 2 main terms, I was spittin the same shit. You need to be your own producer of happiness.

So it's like we have to stop taking a medicine that's really been like a detrimental poison, and start taking what we thought was poison and get used to the yucky taste, for a while, until we start getting better, because it was actually medicine all along? Wonder what color the doctors will choose for the pill form of this medicine...

A philosophy that I live by and which have kept me happy for over 6 months so far.

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"People and relationships are the least important factors for your happiness and fulfillment."

If you live by their approval, you die by their rejection - donno who said it but there. A man is like the sun in a solar system - all others are planets, the cherries on the cake - course the icing makes it better, but the cake would taste good even if it weren't there.

Decide how you want to BE (that is, your own state of mind, body, emotion and spirit - regardless of flavours, all of them must be strong to shine on their own, that's universal), and soon it will be others who will need you. Said every man who ever took back his frame and power in a relationship.

Every man needs to ask himself whether he's the master of his mind, body, emotion and spirit, or is it the other way around. You only have as much power as they're giving you.

Just watch 'fight club'. All u need is there.

It's not black and white. I enjoy things and my gf. I would even say that they bring be joy. It doesn't mean I'm a slave to them.

I also produce joy by myself with hobbies, motorcycling, music (singing and learning guitar), but I can also enjoy my gf and my dogs and even my phone occasionally.

It sounds like you want everyone to go become a hermit. Go read some Emerson or something heh.

I now realized there is no way around being a lier, i thought i could go without it.

In reality i dont give a fuck, but i have to signal to others that i do, because otherwise they'll hate me for it.
And if i have to get along with them i need to have their goodwill.

Good stuff. The more fucks you give about a specific outcome, the less fucks you have for your self, and the less internal power you have. If you learn to not give a fuck you become unstoppable.

When you're free, you dictate your emotions.

Fixed that part for you.

Post about consumerism that ends with the answer to consumerism being to "get a life, hobbies"

Here's an issue. What life? Which hobbies? How about any number of the ones metered out by hegemony? You can purchase all sorts of identities. Go down to the mall and you'll see the clothing stores are all neatly arranged by identity. You claim tobe fighting consumerism, but you dont do anything to distinguish between consumerist and non consumerist means of finding purpose

You seem to be equating "relying on others for your own happiness" with "consumerism" and its muddying your point.

Where consumerism enters into a relationship is the way in which human sexuality has been taxed. This occurs in a number of ways but can be summed up nicely by saying that society has been structured so that you must consume goods in order to attract a mate. Toiletries, clothing, chocolates,. jewelry, car, house, status symbols etc.

If your argument is that consumerism is being driven by peoples need for external validation, then this makes a much stronger thesis.

"one-itis is a sign of your disease of consumerism..."

Really? Thats a really big claim to make. Lets examine it. One-itis can be viewed as the subject attempting to rekindle the same sort of idealized relationship one had at birth with the motherer. The entity who acts as the mediator of the childs emotions. The natural process is that, as we age we come to be separated from the motherer as we come to realize that we have needs that cannot be met by the motherer. Thats the Oedipus complex, you eventually come to desire sex and since you cant fuck your mom, you gotta go elsewhere.

Current society aims at retarding the processes of the symbolic father, locking the subject into a child like state of dependance and helplessness. Consumerism and One-itis are both symptomatic of this process.

One-itis is the process by which the subject attempts to create a new motherer. He seeks a "unicorn" an ideal sex mommy who will love him unconditionally, change his diapers and somehow still find him sexy enough to fuck him after wiping down his shitty asshole. Its a perverse process by which the subject attempts to frankenstein some girl into being part lover/part mother

Notice how the state itself also fulfills part of the provider role. Here's the consumerism aspect. The manbaby who was once reliant on pleasing the birth motherer to have his needs met, now moves to pleasing the state motherer. He tries to figure out what the state needs of him,in order to reward him with sex and whatever else he needs.

Consumerism and One-itis are both symptoms. One doesnt cause the other, they share a common root.

Stoicism offers a practical approach. You must understand that there are infinitely more forces that are not under your control and will impact you in someway. Yet you possess the ability to gap your emotions. You can meditate and turn off your suffering at any time you wish. But hardly are we ever so patient. Uncertainty and shit happens, regret is for pussies. To be a man, you must first conquer yourself before you conquer anything else.

Whatever you need from others will keep you as a slave, because at any time they can take it away.

Good post, but I would like to add the importance of "cutting that shit out."

Social media (yes Reddit included...), video games, TV, internet and computers in general, should all be removed from your life at least once, for an appropriate amount of time. I did it for a week and I still remember it much more vividly than when I'm numb from drugs and entertainment.

Of course, don't remove productive mediums, such as your laptop to check your email, for example.

Taking an unannounced break from entertainment is an incredible experience. The high I got from not using these things is as good as anything else I've experienced, but with the added benefit that you're much more mindful.

If you still don't want to take a break, consider the following benefits

You think more clearly and carefully, yet with less worry

When you listen to music or consume entertainment in public, it's far more pleasant. If you're not the dancing type, take a break from music until you hear it in public (when it's out of your control) and tell me you don't want to dance like a fool.

You don't become consciously or subconsciously upset by the news, your shitty stock market portfolio, internet drama, etc.

You will focus more on your diet and exercise. When you have nothing else to think about when you eat except for the food you're eating, you'll want to cook more, and you'll want to eat healthier.

Seeing people in public, or friends in private, is a treat.

You read much more, if you commit to it before your break. If you lay a couple books out, you'll end up reading out of boredom or, hopefully, interest.

You'll spend more meaningful time with God, whatever that may mean for you and your personal religious beliefs, or lack thereof. My point is that it strengthens your relationship with the part of you that isn't a dopamine slut.

You'll get infinitely more work done without these distractions.

You may feel more inclined to go outside

The most profound benefit I experienced was that I cemented the following idea into my mind: these devices and pleasurable stimuli (phones, eating, porn, etc) are poisons that latch onto you just like nicotine or cocaine. They trick you into thinking they're normal while they eat away at you. You'll never forget this.

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