Inspired by a PPD thread "Are your sisters, mothers, aunts and mothers AWALT?" and a concept I've been waiting to pair with something.

A quote stuck out

ALL of them demonize their partners to allow them to end the relationship. ALL of them. There's not a single ex boyfriend in my family that's not a monster.

Always enjoyable to read when someone comes to an independent conclusion that we're already familiar with. This being the concept that all men, at the end of a relationship "become abusive."

See the light switch effect for more info on this, and also just a classic example of hypoagency.

We'll take a full circle trip back to this quote, so buckle up while we digest u/Ultramegasaurus's story about his mother's appetite for destruction. I'd post more of the stories in there but this post would be far far too long. There's way too many great stories in there, and they all follow this pattern. So pay attention.

My now-dead mother was a walking AWALT

Ditched STEM beta for exotic, foreign Chadlet, my father who was loud, agressive and loved to party Surprise, surprise, foreign Chadlet beat her, she divorces him

Gets to know working-class beta stepdad

Have a kid together, my half-sister

Almost immediately afterwards, she starts massively disrespecting my stepfather and it gets worse every year

Sexless marriage for 10 years

Should have added for him.

They are on vacation in the same country my Chadlet father is from

She cheats on stepdad with a fucking poolboy

Makes scenes, gets violent against him and the cops side with her

Divorce

Send poolboy and his family probably more than a thousand € while complaining to me that money is scarce being a single mother

Finally marry and import poolboy from shithole country

He leaves after a fucking week

Mother starts drinking and is miserable, he was "the love of her life" puke

Finds a new boyfriend in own country, hard-working, funny guy

A year later, she gets cancer from chainsmoking

New boyfriend stayed with her until the end, legit good guy

Find out later that she still wrote with the poolboy behind his back almost up to the day of her death

There were frankly a lot of stories like this in the thread. And the pattern here isn't all that surprising.

This however, does dovetail with something I wrote about before. In boiling the frog I wrote what is essentially an expanded dread level 10 discussion. While that discussion was focussed on the mechanic (how to deal with relationship negotiation), this post is focussed on the ethos & philosophy. (how you should view your relationship for strategy)

The question here is, who do you want to be?

  1. STEM beta
  2. Foreign chadlet
  3. Working class beta
  4. Poolboy
  5. Legit good guy

The real take away from this story is that you don't want to be any of them. I mean that in the sense of offering up commitment, which all of these guys are.

And these, are just the most obvious examples in his mom's roster. An obvious, lifelong carrousel rider, alpha widow etc.

But the truth of the matter is this. There is one consistent rational actor in here that is causing the bulk of the trouble, and she's at the center of the hurricane.

If there is ever a classic example to demonstrate you can't use red pill knowledge for your blue pill dreams, this is it. You're disposable, so embrace your level of disposability into something that benefits you without relying on her.

In boiling the frog one of the key mechanics is to raise your selling requirements. The gambit is this. A woman when she's become uncontrollable and uncooperative, is more or less, having issues with attraction. So the trick here, is to offer simple requirements, and charge her disproportionately for the infraction.

A maladjusted plate that you want to get rid of, you don't ghost her. You make some basic requests you know she can't handle. A very basic request, ambiguous enough to give you carte blanche to judge in your favor.

"Just be pleasant."

When she is anything but pleasant, which you can expect, tell her before you'll see her again to bring another woman.

I do not know why this is so effective, but it is. There is something about actually nailing her that is some form of a chick crack challenge. Either way, it's win win.

Either she leaves, or she brings you another plate. Which again, I call raising the selling requirements.

So now we have a couple things here being woven together.

  1. We're taking a look at the nomadic, destructive nature of a woman and a series of different blue pill men (they're all seemingly offering commitment), with varying levels of red pill traits
  2. We understand the way to end these relationships, is to raise the selling requirements
  3. Everyone is painted a monster at the end.

It doesn't matter if you're STEM guy, legit good guy, pool guy etc. At the end, whatever dirt can be flung about you, will be flung. If there is none, what she feels is true, will become the truth.

The good guy, good father, that goes to marriage counseling will still be painted with the abusive brush. If he gives her "space," it won't be enough, until they're separated. And that'll be too much space if her next best option decides to bounce, when she brings up the obvious baggage like "hey, are you going to help raise these kids with me?" as a cloud of dust emerges.

Don't be afraid to be an actual monster. There is little to no, actual, pragmatic difference between the two outcomes. And lets even think about the concept from the standpoint of the dating pool for these guys.

We know damn well how this goes. You've got STEM guy and "foreign chadlet who beat his ex-wife" both fresh from divorce. Now that you've got your old books blinders off, it should be pretty obvious which one of these guys is DHV.

Am I saying you should beat your wife? As the joke goes, it's your wife, why would you beat her?

Point is this, why bother with such a thing when you could be openly plating, putting her on morning and night ball duty?

It is highly likely the Chadlet or the pool boy could have organized this in their favor, and I would argue that the pool boy did. Dollars to doughnuts she was a ticket to America, and little else. The letters she sent, and any time she spent as a plate with him served his agenda unilaterally.

What benefit would anyone have being STEM guy or "legit good guy" who while he took her to her literal deathbed was being played?

  1. Good or bad, you'll be painted a monster and nothing you can do will stop that.
  2. If you are painted a monster with her brush, it will be DLV.
  3. If you are painted a monster, with truly monstrous behavior, it will be DHV.
  4. So, better to die a true monster, than a milksop.

The man that subjugates his wife into a prostitute is held in higher sexual esteem than the man who dutifully goes through the grinder marriage counseling, gives his wife some extramarital variety and time to secure commitment "space" and is ultimately left burnt to a crisp.

Don't for a second get on your knees to win her back when things start heading south. No matter how "good" you are, you'll be toast at the end.

And again, the paradoxical revelation here is that the worse you are, in male terms, the better you'll come out, in female appeal.

An old books man worries that after a divorce that he won't be seen as the guy "who did everything to save the marriage." When in reality, subconsciously, every woman that hears that story will understand instinctually he did everything he could to destroy it.

The traditional male conception of a good man, and what women want are almost diametrically opposed. I'll revisit a quote from a roast I did on someone in The true alpha : On male virtue.

Ultimately, I'd come down to the fact that she misses her previous 'real' relationship. This guy was an Alpha to the max. He didn't care about her and went even so far as to suggest hint pimping her out to his friends. He'd treat her like garbage but he was a "man". He didn't take shit from anybody, made over a six figure salary, and did what he want when he wanted. He was dominant outside and inside the bedroom. He'd leave randomly and cheat on her but make it up to her by using her to sate his sexual appetite. He'd brag about her being a 'cock monster' and once ditched her at the airport because she was stirring drama.

Be this guy figuratively leaving after getting his trip to America and having her write love letters or chasing him around the globe.

Not the "nice guy" in a 10 year dead bedroom.

At the end, both of them are painted with the same brush. And to men who are not fresh on this, they hope to be painted as the man on his knees, begging for it to work. Not realizing that women are taking pity on him, giving him lip service when they say what a great guy he was.

When on the flip side, they're talking about the pool boy as "such a piece of shit, how could he up and leave her like that?" While subconsciously knowing exactly why she loves him, who they would poach if they had a chance.