I hadn't read a succinct way to reference the archetypal solipsistic value system driven male until I read it yesterday referred to as the plow horse. Or what we could understand as a high beta. These men are either failed unpluggings or partial unpluggings that are in the last bargaining stage. They've accepted some foundation concepts here, but they're different. They just need to be more. And "yeah yeah yeah AWALT and all that." The burden of accepting this is instead shifted to the self.

If you could pinpoint one of the most common things that will shatter a man's view of the world, it is the moment he realizes the values he held to be true and important hold zero, or close to zero value with a woman. At first, he'll reason those values just aren't held by this woman, but over time he'll realize it is with all women. The plow horse then, exists in two states. The one in which he doesn't realize his values are not shared by women, and a second state which follows after he realizes this.

For he'll be ready for the future, because in his next attempt at the forever until she changes her mind program, he's got the solution. These other men, they are donkeys, but it's time to get your shit together and be in the top 20% percent. Then if he never fucks up ever, it'll work out just fine.

He'll be the best plow horse... ever. Top 5%, here I come.

And therefore, the only man that would leave him would be irrational.

This way he doesn't need to truly restructure the way he views the world, simply improve himself. And should any such failure happen, he can continue on, simply asking to be whipped harder, by himself. And with every whip, the harder he'll work, and the harder he works, the better a position he'll be in.

There is nothing inherently wrong with this approach, but the mentality is incongruent and lends itself to some issues.

The plow horse believes because he works hard and does things that one should do, he is rewarded with fruits of labor that conform to his value system. When this fails, he shifts to believe his failures are only because he has not worked hard enough. And therefore, all failures, are his failures. The entire world is explained through the duty of performance.

This is another stage of bargaining that leaves the plow horse in a well meaning, often periodically successful position, but not yet fully developed. While the ethos is correct, which is to work hard and that you and you alone are responsible for yourself to get the fruits of labor, he must understand that he gets these things because of the work he does. Not because of his value systems, and not because of how hard he works. This is part of his first stage of growth. To separate out the value systems he holds as important, from the ones that get results.

But he must develop one more part of himself to be able to structure his world properly and operate congruently. To accept that failure, is not entirely within his control. Failure is to be assumed, and the duty of performance is to be adhered to. These two things function independently of each other, and from this, you realize the need for a safety net. The plow horse who is still in the bargaining stage of denial, believes that his sacrifice is his safety net. And so with each failure, he is left with nothing. Although he is strong, his position is fragile.

Knowledge gives you a cognitive safety net in which you position yourself with the understanding that failure is not a flaw, but a feature of the system. But it is up to the plow horse to shift his mental schema and adopt a real safety net in the form of options. The barrier to this for the plow horse is often moral. And he handwaves the safety net because he hits the field harder than any of these donkeys he surmises.

The Story of the Plow Horse

The plow horse drags the fields, day and night, and has enough to feed his family. With an enormous sense of pride he tells his children at the table, that one day, when they drag the field, that they'll be rewarded with the same pride. He says that their field is wet and the yields are strong because of his sacrifices and that he never misses a day. Today, was to be the day that he takes a rest he declared. And so, he lifts his swollen feet to the table and smiles.

The rain that night was the last the fields saw.

Deeply reflecting, he realizes his pride was instead arrogance. His rest, was laziness. And that he had scared off the rain gods. His weakness caused his suffering. And the only solution was to work harder, to regain the trust of the rain gods.

And while others who knew the plow horse begged him to understand that this drought would pass and to look for other ways to put food on the table, he fought the idea that nature was a cruel mistress. The plow horse knew deep in his heart it was his fault and no one else's and returned to his field, the only one he had ever truly known. And that had he worked harder, and not been arrogant, that she would have been wet for him. How could he be so god damn foolish? How could he take everything he learned as a young man, that he put into as an older man, and let it be destroyed by such a foolish mistake?

And so he plowed the fields and although they were dry and cruel, day and night, as everyone begged him to give up, he soldiered on. The gods will notice, the gods will notice. They have to, they must.

Dying of thirst, he crawled to a man he knew who had fields who had once dried up, still putting food on his table although neither had rain. Although this wise man did not share the values he did, and did not work as hard, he begged to know where he had gone wrong. To which the elder explained to him clearly and without mercy the way of the world.

"Plow horse, you are hard working but the world does not care about your sweat and toil, only what you give it. And sometimes even then, it does not care. And since you believe only your hard work is rewarded, you are at the mercy of your field, who is at the mercy of nature, and she is a cruel mistress. You were once great, but now you are thirsty.

Many others traded their plow for more advanced tools. They have more than one field, they save resources, even if they have enough already. They know work is only rewarded if it is effective, and that nature does not care if it is good and pure. They know she can't be trusted, and so, they live as if their field will dry up that day.

Even the buskers who barely break a sweat at all, who have no wholesome values that I know of, just entertaining in the streets, can eat. And yet here you are,at death's doorstep,crying to a god that doesn't care for you. If you don't die, I do at least hope you learn. Although you care about these things, she does not. And so, understand nature, so that you can live despite her and not for her."

Stacy's Credo

"Honestly I'm wild about you, right now. You're the best I've ever had, right now. I'm almost totally unable to imagine a world without you, right now. And it's a good thing you think that I'm not like "those other girls" because that would make this whole thing a lot more tense.

Instead, you won't believe me. You say I'm magical, unique. You'll tell yourself that you're better, that you've got the formula or you'll never make any mistakes or be put into a position where you'd be anything but my number one. Right now, I think you're right. You're special, right now, and so am I, right now. You work hard for me, and that's just adorable.

But I think there's some things you should know about me. Know that my attraction to you will decline over time, and eventually or even suddenly, I will likely not at all be attracted to you. It won't matter how great of a father you are, whether you are in shape or how strong you are mentally. It doesn't matter how much work you put in or how righteous your values are. Frankly I don't know how or why it happens, but it just does. It does seem to happen usually when I've put myself into a situation to be around a lot of other men. And I do sort of find myself doing that when I start to feel unsure about things. But right now, I think that will never happen. I remember at some point I never thought it would ever happen. But then it kept happening. But this time, it'll be different.

Your job is probably boring to me, and I already know other guys that have more exciting jobs. The fact you're good with kids is weird to me, but its useful. So long as you can help out with any kids I have, I mean we, and it doesn't jeopardize me getting exactly what I want, without any compromises, we'll be just fine. And I'm sure you'll never be in a company that downsizes, get fired, transferred, make a mistake or stop getting promoted faster than other people that I know. Seems like sometimes things get crazy when that stuff happens. Just out of nowhere! That can be really silly. Especially if he calls. When I was in college we spent a lot of time together. I'm over him. He was the only guy I didn't cheat on, before you. I'll never, ever, cheat on you. I'll stick by you in the times when they're tough. I'm sure of that, right now.

None of your family members will ever get into any serious trouble or get hurt, because if something like that made you depressed, I'd worry about that silly old feeling popping up again. So when your parents die, you can let out a tear, but don't be a little bitch about it. Honestly, you make everything look easy, so you'll have no problem being perfect, forever. I think about him a lot.

I'm always looking for the best and sometimes even just different will suffice. There will be other suitors that will try to woo me, and it will be up to you to make sure I do not become attracted enough to someone else that I convince myself that it's over and there will be little you can do to change that. I'll try to get a hold of him. I told you that I'm over him. Why do you keep bringing him up? You know you don't have any right to say that I shouldn't be talking to him, right?

And once that happens I'll convince myself in whatever way necessary to make that reality possible and true. None of the things you think are important I'll allow to be important. And I will cut off my nose to spite my face.

And honestly, I'm not even sure what you're on about at this point. If you think all of these things about you are important, your job, that you care about my kids, I mean our kids, you're honest and loyal are important.... why don't I care? I don't understand why you stopped talking to those other women just because I told you that I would break up with you if you didn't. Why do you listen to anything I say anyways? Are you some sort of social retard?

What about all those other girls? That I wasn't like, do they care?

I never loved you and the thought of touching you again makes me physically sick. I know you keep talking about the good times, what good times? And you're a piece of shit and an asshole to even insinuate that I'm like those other whores. If they were dealing with an abusive piece of shit like you they would have left you a long time ago.

So what do you say? Does this sound like a good deal?

The field is over there.

Will this be temporary or are you going to sign up for the forever until I change my mind forever program?

If you're planning on being a temporary worker, don't let me know. Our requirements are much higher for that program though I'll warn you. Doesn't appear as though that'll be a good fit for you.

So just walk right under the banner that says marriage.