Many users’ recent posts and comments have recently shown evidence of not getting their dick wet.
Let me help you.
If you haven’t fucked her - she is not a plate.
If you haven’t been fucking her consistently for some time - she is not a plate.
If she is the ONLY girl you’re fucking - she is not a plate.
If you can’t replace her with a call/ text / wink - she is your only source of female physical affection and not a plate.
Plates are spun. A plate is held. And cared for. And attention is paid to it.
Plates fall. If they fall where you live and break and shatter - you get a broom.
You do not put that shit back together like it’s a Ming vase.
You sweep it up. Put it in the garbage. Tell yourself that you will not loose control of your plate next time.
And you reach into your shelf full of plates - for another one. Put your food on it. And forget about the broken pieces.
You certainly don’t spend the mental energy to write about the plate on reddit.
Plates can’t be cheated on.
Plates sit on the shelf.
Plates do not make demands.
Plates don’t ask too many questions.
Yes - there is nuance to this -
However -
Most of you who are getting your dick wet have girlfriends and significant others. Not plates.
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GoGetting 7y ago
So, this is some kind of lesson about ceramics? But you fuck the ceramics, like they're women?
My head hurts.
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NightwingTRP 7y ago
Only if you're training for an LTR. Otherwise what does it matter? As you say, pick up another. They're in the restaurant next to the food imho. But hey, attitudes man.
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
“ a “ plate. Vs “ plates “
Because if it’s your only one ...it’s not a plate
NightwingTRP 7y ago
So are you suggesting your own post was wrong? Or are you suggesting it's impossible to reconcile my point?
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
How did me differentiating the difference between a single and plural lead you to those two options.
NightwingTRP 7y ago
Because it implies my point did not include/grasp/remember that distinction. Therefore, if I assume you've understood my point, it leaves 2 possible positions. I'm guessing from this, that you didn't believe in what I was driving at?
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
Let me rephrase this in a way that may be helpful to you.
If you only have one of something - it’s worth to you is more than it would be if you had several.
Take cars. If you have one - it’s your only mode of independent transportation.
If you have several cars - they are just cars. No matter if you have a favorite.
NightwingTRP 7y ago
Let me rephrase this in a way that may be helpful to you.
If you have multiple dogs but you are training one for a specific task, you would care less about what happens to the dog who is not being trained. You'd probably pick up another to replace it if something happened? Though you'd probably go searching for a replacement dog while my attitude is to pick one up while doing other things. In this case, dogs are women. But let's not be too on the nose about this. They might smell it otherwise.
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
You’re reading more into what I am / was saying than is necessary.
Most of these guys can’t tell plate from oneitis.
They would go in a corner and cry around the pack of dogs you describe
NightwingTRP 7y ago
Agreed. But this does not mean my point is invalid. This is the reason I commented on your post. This reality is needed now more than ever as I've spent the past year (probably more) trying to tell these imbeciles that there's a red pill difference between a plate and an LTR, why there is a difference and how to tell if you're ready to play LTR game. (Hint, they're not.)
I have been very much alone in this mission. That said, I was against Jordan Peterson before my fellow endorsed began their campaign... so I'm probably just a trend setter who is pleased to see a fellow early-adopter.
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
Ah. In that case - personally I like having one or two LTR girls around. And honestly I don’t have to look. Candidates present themselves.
In my case I give off way too much beta comfort possibility - so I actually have to actively work on being more of an ass than most guys
Zech4riah 7y ago
I disagree on this or maybe we have to define a new term for a situation between a plate and GF. It's not about amount of girls - it's about how you treat them.
Sometimes my plates fall off and I may have only 1 plate for couple of weeks and I still have ONS's on the side. She certainly isn't my GF but if she isn't a plate either, what is she then? "a girl I date"?
It's silly to think that a girl I see 2 hours a week only for quick fuck and besides that we have no common life, suddenly gets promoted to a girlfriend status if all my other plates drop and when I lock in a new plate she automatically gets demoted to plate again.
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
Why are you only getting laid one day a week ?
Zech4riah 7y ago
Instead of addressing my point, why are you trying to get under my skin by making assumptions?
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
Didn’t you just say your only source of getting laid is a girl you see two hours a week?
If there are other girls that you sleep with - routinely - then yes that one is also a plate
Zech4riah 7y ago
No, I said that sometimes I find myself in the situation that I have only one girl with whom I'm having regularly sex when other plates have fallen off - as they do eventually. During this time I usually still keep having ONS until I lock a new additional plate which means that the "last plate" is only regular source of sex for maybe 3 weeks on average. So the old plate, which has magically become my GF which I treat like a plate (so keep seeing her in bare minimum and no sleep overs and romantic boyfriend - girlfriend stuff), is my only source regular of sex.
So, you are saying that no matter how plate-like I treat her. She is my girlfriend until I have another plate (or actually she is my first plate because the old plate is now my girlfriend - but actually right after that they both become my plates).
Do you see how illogical this is...? I'm just trying to be practical and imo it's silly to define plates based on numbers instead of how you treat them. Of course self-deception to cover oneitis or lack of options by calling a GF a plate is another thing.
Now, if the definition of plate is based on numbers and written on somewhere in "TRP literature" preferably defined with rational arguments I'd be happy to read it and then just stfu about my practical approach but before that I guess the definition of plate should be open to discussion especially in a post which title is "What is a plate".
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
meh. ok missread that.
you are right.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Agreed. Have seen it a lot on asktrp... posts that amount to "how can I fuck my plate" and "there's this plate that I want to get with".
Personally I fucking hate "plate" as a term. The spinning plates analogy is a great one, it's a lot how it feels when you're juggling multiple women, being careful not to let any go too long without attention. But naming women after crockery is going too far, even for my shitlord ways. I stick with "Friend With Benefits", FWB for short.
Back to my main point: the fundamental problem with the comments u/Taipanshimshon is talking about is lack of reading the sidebar.
MisterRoid 7y ago
I hate the term "plate" as well and don't use it, but "FWB" is even worse because it's fucked up to call a woman a friend. I just use the term "lover" for a woman I'm having sex with on a regular basis, even if she's the only one I'm having sex with.
Auvergnat 7y ago
Same. Even worse for me, I just hate that the "spinning plates" analogy has become synonymous of "fucking multiple girls", while Rollo's original analogy was actually more similar to Roissy's "keep two in the kitty", aka "develop and entertain options".
In the original meaning, a married man, or a man in LTR could still "spin plates". It meant for him to keep his game sharp, keep flirting, keep having options. The idea was to steal women's playbook: they're master at keeping a roster of men lined up, ready to go to bat at any time, even if they don't fuck them at the moment. The idea was to do this to induce in yourself a natural abundance mentality as well as natural dread for those in LTR/marriage. Now if you were to turn those options into actual sexual partners (which you could do if you were not exclusive to anyone) then we'd call it a "soft harem". But even men in exclusive relationships were encouraged to "spin plates".
But Rollo was not entirely clear in his plates theory series. Sometimes he seemed to imply the meaning above, sometimes it seemed to imply "fuck multiple girls". That second definition really picked up later on this sub. And when I asked Rollo to clarify when he did an AMA, he unfortunately endorsed that second one, which is now a TRP-approved definition. Unfortunately, because now, men in exclusive relationships don't get to benefit of that great TRP idea - for them now it's just "apply dread", which implies so much more than only "look for and maintain other sexual options".
Now the idea of calling a plate a "girl you're fucking" irrespective of whether you have others going on or not (as /u/LiveAFTSOV suggests) is so incredibly far removed from the original concept it's almost we need a new analogy for that necessary concept of "being on the lookout for other sexual options".
seducter 7y ago
I call that catch and release. Feel free to go forth and use it :)
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Dread is much better for your LTR than flirting with a few girls.
The problem with "maintain only your options" is that like it or not, you go rusty. When your main LTR ends, you suddenly find that the women you thought were options were really just using you for flirty feel-good attention and won't fuck you after all. In other words: unless you go through with the actual sex, you'll be in the friendzone soon enough.
Sure. Language has changed.
I find that "keep your options open" is a justification for monogamy. "It's ok to have oneitis and to commit to her and let her turn me into a beta because I have other options" is sadly the thinking.
Auvergnat 7y ago
I still believe in TRP being a toolbox and people being able to do whatever they want with it. Being married is "redpill on hard mode", and perhaps there are players out there who like to play it on hard mode. Whether they play on easy or hard mode, the 7th commandment still applies:
It just is very very hard indeed to follow that one while being officially sexually exclusive. Mostly because exactly as you say, you always get rusty.
As for the fact that options turn out not being options, it's not relevant. The idea behind "keeping two in the kitty" while in an exclusive relationship is to give you the abundance mentality that will help you maintain the relationship. See the last sentence in commandment #7.
Rian_Stone 7y ago
Youre right, it's never as 100% certain as fucking. But training MMA isn't the same as a fight either. Doesnt stop you from training for when you need to have a fight.
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
When on the TRP sub I tend to use short hand such as “plates” because the young guys here don’t have the experience and depth older guys do.
Married guys Absolutely can apply dread or spin plates or develop options. All those. Who said being in a serious relationship negates any of those options ?
Auvergnat 7y ago
TRP thought - particularly terminology - evolves with time as elders drop from the spotlight and new people rise to fill up the gap. Everybody's understanding of TRP is colored by when they picked it up. I lament but ultimately accept the evolution. You picked up calling girls "plates" because that's what people here did when you discovered TRP. I don't like it because it makes us drift further away from the original concept, but I accept this is the way things are.
In any case of course this concept is still as relevant as it ever was. I just think it's an important one that deserves more talking than "fuck multiple girls" aka "have a soft harem".
Had Rollo's choice of words be less ambiguous, maybe the drift wouldn't have happened so fast? Nevermind, maybe I just need to re-popularize "always keep two in the kitty" as the expression for "always be building and maintaining multiple sexual options".
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
I don’t disagree. But let’s say that you used “maintaining multiple sexual options “ and guys would talk about girls they’ve never fucked as options - my post concept would be similar. I’d just have to use more words
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
Or - you know - not understanding how dinner ware works.
neetrobot 7y ago
Maybe you should simply just realize that there is no poon..
And ask the redpill deletes new users, or even users with little karam. I don't condone such a tyrannical place. They'd probably have alot less users if people did read the sidebars, thus noticing that they censor too much.
TheRedPike Senior Endorsed 7y ago
As a note to our readers. Automod will remove posts from new accounts or those with hardly any karma. There are a lot of trev autists and fat, hairy bulldyke femcunts with serious emotional issues that would (and have) trolled the ever living shit out of both subs if we don't do this. HOWEVER, if we have time, we will review the removals on asktrp and if the question appears in good faith, we will approve it. Unfortunately, this is only if we have time and a lot of us get busy in the real world, but as the mod staff increases, this should get better.
To those that reported this comment, thank you. I'm going to leave this head on the pike for a bit to get the message out there.
Red_Faust 7y ago
This.
FWB is a great term.
FWBs can be upgraded to MLTRs, a term from the fastseducion days, acronym for "Multiple Long-Term Relatipnships". I.e. you treat them like girlfriends, but you have several and don't promise them exclusivity.
One of my pet peeves with TRP has always been jargon.
Why use "plate" which is an obscure metaphor when you can say FWBs or MLTRs or even yet "(non-exclusive) girlfriends"?
Why use "hamster", another obscure metaphor, when there's a perfectly accurate psychological term called rationalization?
I mean using metaphors for colors here and there is fun and gives variety, but if we were using "one-eyed trouser snake" for "penis" all the time, it would get tiresome.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
I was with you until hamster. "Hamstering" is hilarious, the analogy being the hamster in its wheel, spinning away furiously as she searches for a way to post-justify her actions. I love the imagery of this. But sure, there is a more formal term that you're welcome to use if you prefer.
I can see it now... "So then I sprayed her with my OETS". I'm tempted to try and start this.
Red_Faust 7y ago
Thanks for the reply MattyAnon,
Yeah "hamster" is a fun analogy. The problem, like with all metaphors, is when they get overextended, they start to get leaky.
Like those posts that start with: "Hey, men also hamster, but in other areas! Here's proof!"
Go figure. The well known and well documented phenomenon of rationalization works in all human beings. Who'd have thought?
My point is, apart for being a bit aspie here for the sake of discussion, is that fun terms are leaky abstractions and when you overstretch them they start breaking at the seams.
Soon everyone is parroting and misusing the fun terms without knowing the rationale behind. And we have to invoke law 38 and tell people not to use the terms outside this forum.
It happened with the seduction community. You don't need to go further than "neg" for "backhanded compliment" and "shit test" for "congruence test".
Jargon is a double-edged sword. Has the power of conveying a lot in simple words, and also the power of alienating both the term from its original meaning and the people who use it from the people who don't.
Rian_Stone 7y ago
Note you can't escape Metaphors. (bursting at the seams)
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
True, but let's not get caught up in "all people are equal and men and women are the same".
Women show a higher propensity for absolving themselves of all responsibility, blaming someone else, and siding with each other (groupthink, aka in-group preference). Couple this with hypergamy and rationalization takes on a different form than it does in men. Because men and women are different.
This is definitely the case. The abstractions take on a life of their own, and are used to the point where they no longer make sense. The map is not the territory.
No feelings on neg, but "shit test" is actually a better description than "congruence test". The particular form of congruence test that women find most effective to further their goals is throwing shit at men. This is maximally effective at both discovering alphas and subjugating betas. In this instance the TRP terminology is more accurate than the more socially (female) acceptable "congruence test".
LiveAFTSOV 7y ago
Cant agree - if you only have one plate, thats it, you only have one plate. She aint a girlfriend if you're only fucking her once a week.
She aint a girlfriend either if you're actively looking for other plates to spin.
And finally, you may have had 2 plates, one broke, so now youre only fucking one girl, now she suddenly isnt a plate?
Nah man. A plate is simply a Recurring-Night-Stand rather than one night stand.
Poochysnooch 7y ago
If you are sleeping with only one girl. That is called de facto monogamy.
It is closer to girlfriend/partner than "plate".
Once you have your second girl, then she becomes a "plate"
LiveAFTSOV 7y ago
Monogamy is an agreement.
If you have one plate and are looking for more you are not practicing monogamy
Poochysnooch 7y ago
No it is not. Monogamy is 1 sexual partner at most. It is based on a fact. Not whether you write an "agreement" on a piece of paper or not.
So many guys prefer to lie to themselves about the reality of their situation. Unbelievable.
Once you get that 2nd plate, then it is polygamous ("many" sexual partner's)
You have: mono and poly. You cannot say you are non-monogamous and at same time not be polygamous when you have a sexual partner.
It is the Principle of Exclusion in math for fucksake. Either you have 0, 1, or many. You can't say "not 1" and then alao say "not 0 and not many"
The Whole point of these definitions and terms is to give clear thinking and honesty with the current situation one finds themselves in.... so they may be able to improve and be able to move to an objective improved state.
Quibbling over saying it's not monogamy when you only have 1 partner is a buffer of your ego.
You can say:
Or
But you cannot say you are polygamous when you merely wish to be, but are currently with 1 sexual partner
Poochysnooch 7y ago
The key word is "de facto".
Can you read?
LiveAFTSOV 7y ago
definition of Monogamy:
can YOU read? The PRACTICE. you cannot practice monogamy if you are seeking other partners.
Poochysnooch 7y ago
Practice means action/behaviour.
Is your behaviour congruent with the act of fucking multiple women? Practice does not mean wishful thinking and inadequate action (to obtain sex from others). It means actually Doing It!
If we go by your definition, then guys merely fantasizing or hoping to cheat are not technically monogamous.
LiveAFTSOV 7y ago
If you have one plate, and fuck a random ONS. Are you monogamous?
If you have one plate, spin another, it breaks, are you monogamous?
Poochysnooch 7y ago
In the first: no you are not monogamous. If a longer period goes by without another (say months) then you are technically monogamous.
In the second case, same thing... after a few weeks or months you are technically monogamous
LiveAFTSOV 7y ago
Thats what im saying bro im glad we finally understand eachothers
Poochysnooch 7y ago
My point stands and I am correct: having a sexual relationship with 1 person is monogamy.
It's amazing the lengths some men's ego will go to protect themselves. Proof is literally in front of you and you still cannot accept because of your hamstering.
You got to work out those issues
LiveAFTSOV 7y ago
ONLY one! If you are actively seeking out new partnerz and fucking them, while staying with the original plate, you are not monogamous because you are not practicing it.
Poochysnooch 7y ago
Yes, of course if you have multiple sexual partners then it is not monogamy. I did not say anything to contrary.
My point was that if you have 1 girl you are sexually with but merely trying to fuck other girls (and not succeeding) is still monogamy.
LiveAFTSOV 7y ago
But if you have 2 girls, one plate breaks, then you dont suddenly become monogamous thats what im saying.
Poochysnooch 7y ago
Yes you do. It's called "de facto" (as a matter of fact).
See Blackdragon's blog specifically on this exact point.
The reason it matters of whether it is, or is not monogamy is because:
You now have only her to go to for sexual intimacy and you lose some measure of ability to Soft or Hard next her when she gives you more than 20 seconds of drama.
This is why you aim to keep 2 other FB's or MLTRs on the side in addition to your primary MLTR. Because it is expected that FBs/MLTRs will break, then you do not want to violate the "2 in the kitty rule"
The rule is not "2 in the kitty sometimes" it is "2 in the kitty". Which means you need to be able to:
have 3, so when 1 breaks you still do not lose ability to get sex/intimacy
If you go longer than 2 weeks with only 1 sexual partner... then it is a statement of fact that you only have 1 sexual partner ("de facto")
ParanoidKasparov 7y ago
Yes - there is nuance to this -
However -
Most of you who are getting your dick wet have girlfriends and significant others. Not plates.
You're not wrong but those lines are specifically written in regards to your post.
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
I can’t imagine a world where I would purposefully limit myself to one girl unless I wanted her to be an Ltr.
So again - either you had too few on rotation or you forgot to game other women. Either way the fuckup is yours.
ParanoidKasparov 7y ago
There is no valid reason why this should be downvoted.
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E_Anonymous 7y ago
The whole idea of plates is to create an abundance mentality. Doesn’t matter if you have 20 girls your actively getting at and not fucking any. It’s the mentality it gives you so you don’t oneities some girl just because she has a pussy.
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
Correct. But nothing gives you abundance mentality like abundance
Dmva100 7y ago
Should add that's she's not a plate if she isn't aware your fucking other girls/won't accept it.
GoGetting 7y ago
She knows. She sees them when I put her on top of the rest of them in the cupboard.
infamous3238 7y ago
Just out of curiosity, do you make this clear to your plates up front? Or when they ask? I've never brought up I'm fucking other girls, and if they ask I find a way to avoid answering the question or make a joke out of it "yeah I'm fucking your entire friend group". Feel like its best to avoid a possible confrontation "I don't want to feel like I'm just an option"...
Dmva100 7y ago
It's better to say nothing. It gives you more control. Read my post on 'Don't Tell Her Shit - Fallacy of Disclosure'
Dmva100 7y ago
It's better to say nothing. It gives you more control. Read my post on 'Don't Tell Her Shit - Fallacy of Disclosure'
infamous3238 7y ago
Thanks for the reply. Great post.
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neetrobot 7y ago
What if I told you women are cups?
GoGetting 7y ago
But can a cup be spun?
Apparently that's the requirement for kitchenware-women analogies.
Revo_Luzione 7y ago
Cups need saucers, and what are saucers but little plates.
GoGetting 7y ago
But are saucers big enough to spin?
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
I’d probably ask why you’re thinking about the cup and not what’s in it
neetrobot 7y ago
I was just testing you to see if you were schizophrenic, as they cannot follow cryptic messages well.
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
Then - try being cryptic
kaane 7y ago
But he handled your shit test well. I guess there is a reason why some of the guys become endorsed contributors
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ex_addict_bro 7y ago
Cup size?
kaane 7y ago
Double D
silver-in-a-cloud 7y ago
wish i had gold to give you :! bahaha. epicly said bro!
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RedPillRobin 7y ago
I hear what your saying but I have 2 plates I haven't had sex with yet due to time constraints on my part. And honestly now I wont meet a girl unless it's understood that sex will be occuring when we meet up. However I don't think it's wrong for a new guy to consider "irons in the fire" as plates.
That being said once you have some girls in rotation it gets real easy, as if they all subconsciously know that your seeing other women. I wish I understood this phenomenon but I shit you not most girls ask to meet up with me now. Makes me wonder how it works...maybe idgaf?
Taipanshimshon 7y ago
The problem with setting different standards is that you perform to those standards. And hold others to those standards. Have all the irons in the fires you like. I encourage it. Just don’t call em what they aren’t