This was inspired by someone on asktrp who said someone should write a piece entitled “Tinder is Broken” because they felt that Tinder is a terrible place to pick up women, it’s outdated and we should all look elsewhere.

There are probably a dozen guides on this sub within the last few months on dating apps and men here whine and complain about how much they suck, they never get matched and even if they do then the girls flake and they aren’t getting laid. There are tons of excuses. “The algorithm changed!”. “It’s filled with land whales!”. “Girls are only on there for validation.” Well, here’s the blunt and honest truth. There’s nothing wrong with Tinder. It’s still full of lots of women looking for hookups, dating and even god forbid meeting someone for an actual relationship. You just need to realize the reality of your own situation and change it to make it better.

The attitude that comes out is like people who complain about hating their job or relationship without taking steps to make it better. Stop complaining. Do something or change something to make the game work in your favour.

Men here think that once they match they are going to magically get laid if they spit a bit of game and simply “text for logistics” and then reel when women don’t want to meet them or fuck them. I can tell you that it simply isn’t true. You play the game from start to finish if you want to get the pussy prize at the end. Getting matches is only the beginning, but if you can’t even do that then it’s game over on the first level.

So here’s a couple of simple steps that go beyond “have good pictures”.

Accept Your SMV Level.

Are you a 7? Really? For most women a 7 is someone who is in decent shape, cocky and funny at the right times, has an interesting (not necessarily a big money making) job, and has a couple of other cool things that make him attractive enough that she can tell her friends about them.

I used to be a 7. Through using better pictures, making more money, getting cool hobbies and having better social game I’d say I’m creeping towards an 8 (especially for a guy in his mid 40’s). But here’s the thing – just because you’re at a certain level you can’t expect matching with women whose perceived looks are simply above yours. I swipe right on anyone I find attractive, and I’ve had some surprising matches with some really hot girls (until they open their mouth or you start talking to them). But I don’t expect them. I know that odds are that I’m going to match with a bunch of 6-7 girls because that’s what my level dictates. And that’s fine. I’ll fuck 7’s three times a week while you’re complaining about getting ghosted by an 8.

I've also realized that just because a girl looks hot doesn't mean anything. She can suck in bed, be crazy or a gold digger or text one word answers. Which means she isn't as high as she (or you at first glance) think she is. Learn to weed these out right from the start and don't waste your time worrying about them.

What I also do is tweak my game once in a while – delete my profile and try some new pictures, a new profile or whatever and gauge the response. Am I matching with more attractive girls? Awesome? Less matches? Maybe something changed. I actually use my matches as a good representation of how attractive I am and then strive to improve it.

Know How To Converse

This means via text, apps, and also in person. All of these are components today of successful game with women. The big saying here is “text for logistics only”, which in my opinion (especially when dealing with women in their 30’s and 40’s) is ridiculous. You need to have an actual conversation with the person, ask them out and THEN use for logistics or to maintain a presence, which is sparingly. Learn how to correspond just enough to have a bit of mystery but keep yourself fresh in their mind before you meet them in person.

Then when you’re on a date you need to control the situation. Learn how to have a conversation that makes them want to spend more time with you. This is where seduction techniques come into play – not for the purposes of sex on the first date – but to establish in their mind that you are someone that they want to fuck. Be charming, be witty and be whoever you need to be in order to progress things along. Before, during and after the date are all components of the seduction process.

As an aside, sex on the first date happens but it is rare. Sometimes second, but third date if you play your cards right sex is virtually guaranteed. It’s actually part of our dating culture. So as long as you’re patient and can be attractive enough, it’s going to happen. Don’t blow it by trying to skip a level.

Realize That Women are Online For a Reason

Yes, there are attention whores out there. There are girls who just want to collect matches and show their friends. But a girl doesn’t download Tinder, put pictures on a profile and swipe on guys just for fun for the most part. Girls WANT something out of the experience.

This can come in many forms. Validation is a big one. But if they are single they want more than that. They are craving companionship by a strong assertive male. They want to be able to show off the hot guy they are meeting this weekend. If you’re enough of a catch, they won’t care about paying for meals or where they are going, and they certainly won’t flake. And yes, they want to get laid too.

If you can hack into her motivation for being on Tinder (no, don’t ask her directly, figure it out) then it is like opening up a bonus section of the level because you get to skip right to the end. I’ve had several dates where I’ve just been blunt about what I think their motivation is and I’ve never been proven wrong. Are they lonely? Horny? Looking for revenge? Bored? It really doesn’t matter – figure out which one and then use that to your advantage as soon as you can to get what you both want out of the situation.

She's not wasting your time if she's bored - use her to meet her friends. If she's lonely the seduction process changes, as it will if she's out for revenge. Figure out why she's there in the first place, because there is a reason for it.

There’s nothing wrong with Tinder. You’re just not using it properly for your situation. For sure there are outliers to this scenario but for the majority of men in any average sized city Tinder and other dating apps can be a fun way to meet tons of women, get laid weekly and just enjoy company of new people. Did I mention getting laid?

Instead of thinking there is something wrong with the app, focus on what is wrong with you and improve it if you want better results. Just like many other areas of life.