Greetings,
Allow me to share with you my insights, experiences and polished knowledge on my view towards being red pilled. I am a male in my early 20s and I’ve stumbled upon a couple of books that opened my worldview on the inter-gender dynamics.
As introverts (an INFP to be particular), we know in the depths of our hearts that we are the true idealists, the romantics, the dreamers of our society. We are usually the individualists who don’t conform to the norm. We are what we wonder of the world through a dreamer's spectacles. Having said that, we tend to be the ones who believe in modern romanticism. I have been like this all my life. What matters more so is that we are genuine to ourselves when it comes to showing our affection to women.
Anyhow, the knowledge I acquired was caused by my falling in and out of love with a woman. The feeling of falling out is not an alien feeling to me, as I’ve already experienced a couple of fallouts in the past. Rejection is better than regret. What I found quite peculiar is my regulated patterns of coping with it. I always ended up feeling sad about the rejections that I receive, to a point that I lose my center. One of the worst feelings is having to lose your own self to unproductive emotional turbulence, mostly sadness and despair. I began to change my patterned thoughts and decided to improve on myself and my way of thinking. I decided to alter it with what the world expects of me, as a man.
I began reading a lot of self-help books, from time management to leadership to business articles and eventually to positive masculinity. I learned a lot, truly. I wasn’t the sappy person I was a couple of memories ago. Here’s the catch, though. As an INFP, I am a true-born idealist. Despite my newfound knowledge of the world and its realist ideals, I am still inclined to believe my own morals. Even if we are attuned to our own idealism, it is very important to take into consideration the adaptation we need to do in order to gauge ourselves with the world out there. This is not blindly following the rules, as it is more of our ability for social finesse. Learning about realism is great for INFPs as it gives us a better understanding of what realism lies outside our realm of deep thinking. We are able to adjust ourselves, aided by our FiNe, when we are faced with adversity.
I guess as an INFP, there must be a balance in between realism and idealism, otherwise if we are too ideal it would be difficult for us to accept the reality of the world. Most likely, if we remain idealists our whole life, we will never reach our maximum potential. It's very important to learn of the world out there and what it means to adapt to it. Of course, that is not to disregard action, as it is an important element to materialize our idealistic attempts to create value and give meaning in our lives. Where there's action, there is practicality. Where there's practicality, there exists the realistic approach. Hence, for INFPs, it is very important to subject ourselves to the realism that we dread too much because we get stuck in our own rich world. That's not to say that our rich world is useless. Everything within our rich world is what gives us a competitive edge (in matters of consequences.) It takes a little bit of worldly awareness to accept this fact. Perhaps nurturing realism is an INFPs way of being a member of this realistic world.
Feel free to share your insights, but please do note that what I have shared should be taken with a grain of salt! I hope I shared something valuable to those who are in the same perspective. I only wish to share my knowledge to fellow INFPs who are in the pursuit of their best selves.
Cheers!

donkeydodo 8y ago
As an introvert empath (introvert dominant ambivert rather) I can't do anything but agree with you. I've lurked TRP for a while, and I consider myself relatively redpilled in most aspects of life but my biggest problem so far is that when I get interested in a woman I become bluepill; when I have no interest in a woman I talk with, I just act like myself, which leads to women becoming interested. I think I become bluepilled because I feel for people genuinely, and when I get interested in a girl I usually become too genuine towards her and goes out of my own way too much, thus bluepilling myself. I am too idealistic in my head I think, truth be told I just want to find a woman I can take 10g psilocybin mushrooms with so we'd just stare each other's soul, but there aren't too many girls in my country doing stuff like that so I have to aim for something else.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
I get you man. One thing you need to consider though is the female imperative. We can always be who we are—the romantic, artistic, soulful guy—but we always have to remember that we are operating in a dehumanized feministic society. It is their way of prolonging their sexual market value. My suggestion: keep the soulful mind. Never let go of it, because that’s what makes life a more humanistic experience for us. What will only differ from here onwards is having to keep that soulful, romantic self in the fridge. Never open it until you know you are confident it wouldn’t affect your relationship with yourself and your frame. Always keep the frame in line with your ideals, but never succumb to the female frame. It’s going to be used against your empath introverted self.
donkeydodo 8y ago
This is something I needed right now, as I met a oneitis recently which actually turned out to be a reality wake-up hit for me! I'll take your advice and hold my frame, because that's how I've cockblocked myself a couple of times in the past (by not holding my frame). We'll see how my journey to enlightenment goes, hopefully I will post my own field report here one day! :)
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
We've all been there. It all starts with that one painful mistake from that oneitis experience that awakens our inner red pilled un-snowflaked ideology. Ignorance is definitely not bliss.
[deleted] 8y ago
The only time I consider Briggs-Myers is when making a dating profile. I believe that the test is not good for all situations, as in one part of life, you may be a boss\leader\instructor, and in another a customer\patient\student. In those roles, one is more dominant and the other is more attentive and listening.
hiaram_hasnem 8y ago
Interesting....I'm an introvert, always have been since I was a child. Before taking the redpill, I had a massive oneitis and heartbreak for a chick in college. I was really emotional and soft, and viewed everything differently back then. I'd say now, I'm really not the same person I once was in a good way.
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peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Thanks, I'll definitely take this into my account. From the amount of substantial comments I received in this post, I've come to the conclusion that MBTI (although not entirely bullshit), is nothing more than a guideline. Hence, I'll drop this in exchange for my growth and my going outside the box. Romanticism is not dead, but I've begun to believe that we are in a developing society. It is great for expressing depth, but it must be aided with practical reasoning as to why it should be used to woo a woman. It's better to reassess than to remain ignorant. I've learned a lot from my own post and the comments here so again, thanks.
jonpe87 8y ago
In life you win or you lose, you survive or you die. It's a constant struggle because each system is trying to fulfill is own desires. Read some Machiavelli. All idealism is a form of subtle power, just another form of succeed in this game because you don't have the skill to compete with those who are already winning. Religion, politics, economics, everyone is playing the same game. The base is that: all beings have desires (Maslow). The problem is when in the game other beings have more will and power than you, so your mind try to change the strategy to more easily achiev his own desires. Male romanticism is the beta strategy to sex, the problem is that the woman idealized don't exist in the real world. Romanticism is shallow as fuck, and show how nature's will reign supreme as soon the objectified lady gets fat.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Thanks for sharing the other side of the coin. I learned plenty from this. That's not to say that Romanticism is dead, it is within the depths of man to express it should the need arise for him to do so.
jonpe87 8y ago
Start to question your won truth. Why do you need to be romantic in the first place? What do you win with that? What do you lose if not? Watch your wn tought and don't believe 100% in your interpretaions, our minds have a insane capacity to deceive itself.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Answering your rhetorical questions go outside the realm of TRP, but let me give you my opinion on why being a romantic is important even for someone who indulges in positive masculinity.
Romanticism is an art. It is an act of freedom--freedom to express. It is one's way of developing a personal style, and that goes hand in hand with self-expression, to oneself and to influencing others, women included. If going by the structure--the learned way of doing things The Game method--then it may act as an obstruction to developing your own personal way of self-expression. Do your own thing, others own their own thing. You win by going your own way. You also win when you discover you are wrong with what you thought was ideally correct. People think they lose when they have been taught by structure, when in fact there is nothing to lose other than taking the risk to learn and progress to a better version of themselves.
That said, I believe nothing I know is 100% correct in my own perspective. I learn by experience, yet it must be aided by the wisdom of art and romanticism otherwise there is no passion to doing and believing.
studentsensei 8y ago
INFPs are awful people. Caring, sensitive and sweet on the outside, but irrational, emotional and vindictive on the inside - yet they hate to own up to their mistakes.
"I didn't act out - you MADE me act out."
Very common for an INFP to say. I know because I dated several for years.
But most women act like that anyways.
One of my biggest pet peeves in people is lack of accountability. I have zero tolerance and patience for it. Unfortunately your post reeks of it.
Let me simplify it for you.
You are in charge of you. Don't make excuses. We're all wired a certain way, but it's not that deep. Just rewire yourself. It will take time, but that's how it is.
Joe Biden had a speech impediment, Michael Jordan couldn't beat his brother in basketball, Abraham Lincoln failed in every single business venture, etc.
Who you are is based on your memories and experiences. Rewrite the script. Make new ones, and you'll be a new person. Over time.
Now go.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Thank you, I'm giving this INFP framework a rest and move on with progress and potential. I learned it's been holding me back, dictating what life should be like for me. It's quite an impediment and I've come to conclusion with it. I do agree it would take time. Rome wasn't built in a day.
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p_and_q 8y ago
“Cynics are - beneath it all - only idealists with awkwardly high standards.”
― Alain de Botton
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Care to expound on that fella?
[deleted] 8y ago
You've placed yourself in a box. An arbitrary, loosely defined, frequently discounted as pop psychology box.
Now you're thrashing about in the box, not knowing if you actually belong in that box or not, trying to concoct a framework to guide your life in the box.
You know who else lives in a box? Schrodinger's cat. Didn't turn out so well for him.
What I'm saying is do not allow someone else's label to define you. Only you get to define you.
Get out of the box... it's blocking your view of the rest of the world. That'll clear up your idealism rapidly.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
I understand what you're saying, appreciate it more so. I wouldn't say I didn't see it that way, because prior to reading about this pop psychology bullshit, I've always been this way and felt authentic the way I am. If going outside the box means going against my poetic expression, to pursue a hypergamous relationship, then that would be a conflicting edge because that would mean stabbing my own back to something the world expects of me.
[deleted] 8y ago
My get outside the box metaphor wasn't a stab at your choices at all, I fully subscribe to doing whatever it is you want to do, over all. Kind of the foundation of the pill.... do what you want to do.
Where the rubber meets the road, though.... are you sure you are actually doing what You want to do, free of external influences/morals/societal pressure? That takes some introspection.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
That's not to disregard any external validation/influence/morals. It's more so being authentic to what I want, as compared to the constructed formula of what should be and what everyone else is doing. I mean both fall under the same umbrella of the pill, but if disregarding what I believe is would benefit my authentic self, that would be akin to someone selling his soul to the devil. Take this for example, wooing a woman. Most guys go the route of money/status/fame, yes they are important in this realist ideal, which I have no complain about. I'm going that route to accept the reality, but I'm indifferent from it. I hope you understand. Being indifferent from it, and following that poetic expression (wooing a woman because you're very expressive of the arts and the like and not following a blind eye just cause that's what society expects of you.) If money/status/fame is all there is to being a man, then we've succumbed to the material. I respect the pill, but I don't want to see it as such that would disrespect my belief of being indifferent from them. Just had to let that out in my stream of thoughts before it goes away.
randomperson123321 8y ago
MB is an accurate description of your current personality traits.
The problem is that people usually identify themselves with the resulted major characteristics. OP for example is not "infp", it's just that those characteristics were more prevalent when the test was done.
MB is a spectrum of personality characteristics. Just that.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Yes, it's just a spectrum, but prior to testing the results, I have been this way and felt comfortable the way I am, even if it means improving myself for the better.
PutItAllOnRed 8y ago
INFPs or any of that myers brigg stuff is bunk. As an INTJ, I know this to be fact.
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DrZoidberg- 8y ago
I am INTJ on paper but I take party buses to EDM concerts and have a hell of a time. It's a loose definition and how you grew up defines some of your traits, but they are not immutable.
[deleted] 8y ago
I'm INTP and the same way. Took that test during a more sociable period in my life and got ENTP as well.
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peacemakerzzz 8y ago
MBTI is actually a framework, a tool to see how the world is like from that certain personality type. It is not a horoscope or some sort of magical reasoning. It's pretty much backed up by good research.
PutItAllOnRed 8y ago
It's just a joke about judgmental INTJs who think we know it all. Which we do. Even when we are deadass wrong.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Hahaha, I wasn't able to catch up to the humor. Thanks for reassuring.
LoneWolf1557 8y ago
Thanks for sharing, I am an INFP myself and had a hard time taking in some of the stuff the other guys have said on the subreddit
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
I'm glad we share the same perspective. We only want what's best for ourselves.
blackbeardbastard 8y ago
Introverted =/= romantic. Sounds more like blue pill than introvert, tbh.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
I didn't mean it that way. I'm just sharing my views as an introvert, and (separately) my desire to being romantic. I'd rather keep my views on romance while having an RP mindset even if women prefer the more stereotypically alpha approach. If that's the case, it's on them and not on me.
Razkolol 8y ago
Mental masturbation about bullshit personality traits. Take this from an ENTJ/INTJ (depending on mood or if i get a boner in the morning), you're not a special snowflake, misunderstood genius, etc. in the smp you are what you bring to the table, status/money/looks + game aka not being a social retard. The special snowflake mindset leads to depression and other nasty stuff, lose it.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
I'm no special snowflake. I get that we are what we bring to the table, fully aware of that. All I'm saying is that it's conflicting to go against my beliefs, while also accepting the TRP knowledge (such is what you've mentioned on status/money/looks which I totally accept.)
My beliefs include: being authentic, genuine, and overly compassionate. These are what make me such an idealist. That's not being a special snowflake as it is part of one's personality.
Do you think it's only mental masturbation being able to know about it? Learning and talking about these aren't useless. You'll never know when you'll use that knowledge, so I don't get why it's mental masturbation.
Razkolol 8y ago
It's hamstering. Do you think roman/spartan soldiers who had their buddies killed daily on the battlefield still had a need for compassion? Men do not need this bullshit, females do. Your personality type goes hand in hand with the blue pill. Alter it to some degree to accommodate trp, take up a mma class or something, toughen up. You don't see ENTJs making posts around here "How to accommodate trp with your beliefs as an ENTJ" why is that?
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karmayogi234 8y ago
INFP here... I was the biggest fucking sad sap you would ever meet in college. I am now in grad school and doing a lot better. I am still learning the ways. I am learning to embrace my introversion and my sensitivity. You can be sensitive and still be strong. It probably just takes a little more work than for most. Thanks for the post OP.
Kinbaku_enthusiast 8y ago
I think there's value in personality stuff, whether it's meyer's briggs or the big five (discovering I was the bottom 1% in industriousness was a big help to restructuring my life effectively.)
However, unless you talk about specific things instead of vague generalities, it's just mental masturbation, as some others have said. It's like going on and on about the height of your IQ (or size of your dick). It's not that it's unimportant, but it doesn't mean so much unless you apply it specific things.
For example, you never made it real by talking about your specific experiences where knowledge of meyer's briggs helped.
In other words, you didn't subject this text itself to realism and it's firmly rooted in the world of feels only.
And if there's one thing that's poorly communicated through text on reddit it's the world of feels. Like, things might exactly feel like that for you, but I have no real world comparisons to know how warped or not warped your perspective is. However, when you talk about real, physical stuff, then I can make inferences by what you write and discover things you yourself might not see. Now I'm rooted to your perception completely and as a result, I can not possibly add anything to what you wrote.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Now that you mentioned it, let me give you an example of my idealist belief versus the realist standard. I prefer my ways of flirting to be that of the romantic, as opposed to the stereotypically alpha approach (Justin Bieber fuckboy type of shit.) I believe poetry, painting, language will go far when it comes to wooing a woman. If the woman dislikes this approach, then it's on her, and not on my ideals. It's just not me to flirt what the standard seems acceptable in society. If I do it, it would just tire me out considering I know deep inside that it's not part of my nature. It's like placing an introvert in a very awkward situation that would require him to talk for hours. He can do it, but it would expend a vast amount of energy out of him. This is paralleled by my knowledge of TRP, as long as it's in the best interests of bettering myself in the pursuit of my best self and the women I like, then I know I'm still in touch with the principles of TRP.
Kinbaku_enthusiast 8y ago
The realm of the sensory experiences is the realm of the lover, so I do agree on poetry and painting being the language of love, and it also includes music, touch, food, and more.
This is not exclusive to introversion.
I'm not sure why you're making a distinction between "stereotypically alpha approach" and the realm of the senses (which you describe as poetry, painting and language). They are not mutually exclusive.
You seem to have attached negative things associated to what you describe as "stereotypically alpha approach". Why?
In the end you might be holding yourself back by hamstering why it's alright not to be force to be reckoned with because you've got a special kind of introverted sensitivity. There's no reason why these things can't exist in harmony in one person.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Oh, I didn't mean it to be negative when I referred it as a stereotype. It becomes negative when women, unconsciously, find these behavior as the norm to which they can be wooed, as opposed to the depths of one's romantic sensitivities. We are in a disposition where the ideal is based on alcohol, clubs, etc. I'm not saying most follow this norm, but this is what we're seeing based off media and the likes which lead to an influence of behavior. I wouldn't say romanticism is dead as it is merely a lack of sensitivity for the arts, and this is exclusive amongst everybody regardless of gender.
I completely agree with you on this one. All I'm trying to point out here is that being authentic is one way to better myself--it is very subjective if you think about it that way. I can go the opposite approach of wooing, when it is required of me to do so. You're right though, I believe they can exist in one person. I'll have to reassess myself on this one some more. It's just that it's very important for me to always regard the arts (the Renaissance ideal) and applying it in all aspects of my life, and that also includes the subject of TRP.
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peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Yes, by default, I am an introvert. I can be an extrovert should it be necessary for me to be one however it would tire me out quick. I guess not all introverts spend their time theorizing, but here's what I can tell you: introverts always plan things out in their heads. It's up to them whether or not they put action to it--and it's not dependent on whether or not you are an introvert.
Docbear64 8y ago
One of my favorite quotes says " a pessimist is a disillusioned romantic" . Before TRP and really before I had much dating experience at all I was very much like you an introspective romantic who was very committed to the idea and beauty of the concept of loving freely , absolutely , and totally.
I'm older, experienced, wiser, and jaded now but it's moreso because of what I KNOW about the world and women whereas my youthful emotionally driven perspective of love and commitment was based on what I hoped/ thought love should be/ desired.
The best thing you can take about TRP is develop mindset of relentless self-reliance. That may sound lonely but honestly the most liberating perspective for you to embrace is that of " I'm going to realize a vision of success for myself and invest/ commit to attaining that for myself" .
At the end of the day you are all that you have in this world so your relationships should focus on creating the sex / love life that you want. Your dreams and visions should focus on attaining the job, status, and enjoying those life experiences that you want.
I'm still introverted, I prefer not to talk most of the time unless I have something meaningful to contribute but you learn quite quickly that in order to thrive you have to learn how and when it's ok to curl up in your shell and when it is not. When you are realizing a vision it's particularly critical .
I agree with the core of your post though I couldn't imagine a life without my ambition and dreams to drive me , for better or worse I'm always looking ahead for the next mountain to climb . Whether it's a salary bump , status, accomplishment , a trip, place, experience . However I know lots of unfulfilled dreamers and I refuse to be 75 years old lamenting all the opportunities I didn't actually take steps toward when I knew I really wanted them . because of that making plans and even if making slow progress towards accomplishment moving towards accomplishment is what makes me feel stronger, empowered, and like I am fulfilling my dreams and visions, not just allowing a stockpile of them to collect within my head.
GoldAri7 8y ago
Nicely said. The part about feeling you are moving forward in life is critical for my reward system.
lifestuff69 8y ago
Great points, and I love that quote. This probably describes most of us on this forum at some point in our lives.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Very well said, fellow introvert. I just find it conflicting to give up our youthful perspective on love and commitment, especially when it is engraved on our own personalized skin, in exchange for knowing the TRP mindset. I appreciate what TRP has given me, but I also respect my own idealistic beliefs (that being romantic is a part of who I am.) I accept the TRP knowledge, with all my heart. But sometimes even if the truth sets us free, it's not necessarily so, because youthful idealism is still there--a huge part of who I am. Opening my eyes to the truth that is TRP, is also closing a part of my true self. Being authentic is what I believe is right, despite the truth. Needless to say, personalities play a huge impact on swallowing such a bitter pill.
AshyLarry27 8y ago
I generally test as INFP my self, but have pulled INTP a couple of times. While the testing can be somewhat accurate, do NOT let these "personality types" results define you! It's good to see where you are now, and what your weaknesses are to improve on, but that's the ONLY good aspect of Myers Briggs testing. You grow as a person, and I can imagine some of these letters change over time. I would imagine I/E remains, but the other 3 can easily switch up. I say this because its as if in this post you use this personality type as a "handicap" that holds you back. The biggest advantages INFP's have are the out appearance of being stoic and not being needy/dependent on others. You have better people reading skills as well. Reducing emotional investment and becoming more realistic are now goals, not weaknesses
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Thank you, kind stranger, for allowing me to view realism more as a goal than a setback.
jtedd92 8y ago
OP, I'm curious as to what your current profession/career is at the moment?
That being said, I am also an INFP and resonate with much of what you are saying. My interaction with women in my teens and early in college was nothing short of intoxicating as I was living through my emotions. I obviously didn't keep any of them long term as I was beta feelings personified.
Reality smacked me in the face Freshmen Year that I was a pussy and thus began my journey of self improvement and aligning myself with reality, though I was unaware of what I was doing it for for some time.
I went through a stage of being a complete asshole and unauthentic to my inner values and got a lot more attention from girls. After a year of this I pursued a girl that was very intellectually and emotionally balanced with this same approach and she called me out (they have a sixth sense) on my inauthenticity.
What stemmed from that interaction was the convergence of my intrinsic values with the reality of masculinity. In a way, I updated the software of my intrinsic values.
This was my junior year of college and was the first time I really felt like myself. I acted in congruence with my being unhindered by the emotions that were driving me for so long with girls.
From that point on I began pulling and keeping the level of girls I had wanted for so long. I began reading more and realized that what I was doing was self improvement to get girls and was finally able to articulate the reason behind my drive for self improvement.
I was in a fraternity so I had a golden glove of access to girls but none the less it still wasn't a cake walk. Since I've graduated, now 26, I have started taking on the beast that is cold approach/bars, etc. and am doing decent at it. I think it is the hardest place for an introvert to be successful but it also is the fastest way to be forged into a sharp blade. It also sucks because college was a honey hole. Trying to get back to those level of girls.
Slowly have been finding TRP related books, people, etc. over the last three years. Started with RSD, Girlschase, Stefan Molyneux, Jordan Peterson, and now TRP as of two months ago.
Professionally, I have been in limbo for the last three years. Went into HR, good career for INFP, but was lost and felt like I didn't know what I wanted to do even with that.
I began jumping into things at work, helped construct an electronic on boarding system, built the workflow and user manual as well as trained all of the managers for the company I worked for. Really enjoyed the systems and training aspect of it.
Left that job for my current job (manufacturing plant) and stepped into a giant mess with a complete lack of systems. Found Jordan Peterson around this time last year and began listening and updating my "software" with what he was saying.
In accordance with JBP says, I am taking on the responsibility of rebuilding the structure/systems that the company has been lacking and have realized that I am one of very few people who can see the problem let alone create and implement solutions to systematic problems.
In doing this I have found that my passion lies in revivifying systems that are dead and then articulating how to fix it and also implementing the solutions to fix it by training people.
All of this mambo jumbo above to say, as INFP's we have vision into what a lot of the worlds problems are as everything is a system.
Because INFP is typically a female type and we are males we have a balance of empathization (feminine trait) with systematization (masculine trait.) We exist in both realms of the feelings and reality. As we mature and get older we have to update our feelings software with the realistic world. It's hard to do when your internal values are the core to your being as INFP.
We have to self actualize and continually go through a cycle of death and rebirth. Software updates.As such, we also have to integrate our spiritual and physical bodies together as well.
Our competitive edge as INFP's is that we exist more so than most types in both realms of the physical and spiritual. The empathetic and the systematic. We are balance. With this ability we are able to see problems most others can't and if it involves helping people we are motivated to create solutions that are stupid simple.
I kind of brain vomited and after typing all this lost a little bit of the direction but you know what fuck it! It is what it is! I hope it helps somebody. Enjoyed your post!
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
I'm pretty sure you fell into a state of flow as you typed all those up, but I'm glad you did. Also sure you were authentic when you typed those, I feel like we would understand each other better because this is what we are made of. I wouldn't be surprised to see a lot of INFPs feeling the same way. This is the real dilemma most of us face, and this falls under the umbrella of men, because men have different types of personalities. It just so happens that we are the highly emotional ones. Those who say we better lose our emotional sensibilities are naive about the wonders it can bring, especially to us males. I've already read a comment down below telling me to toughen up--that's going against my authentic self, I'd like to believe so.
Anyway, going back to your question. I have three things going on for me. One is my day job at a real estate corporation, a sales position, which helps me feed myself three times a day. I don't like working under a corporation because I lose my sense of individuality, but hey, they pay me at the moment so I've no right to complain. I learned a lot working for them, but I'm not generally happy working for them in the long term. Having that said, my second job is that of an entrepreneur. I'm starting my own real estate consultancy firm, along with my brilliant mentors who happen to be alma maters of my high school. It's tough work because I've few knowledge on creating a company since my preconceived notion of companies are through the bottom-up approach as opposed to seeing it from top to bottom. In this stage I don't get paid because we are our own men, hence I needed my day job to fund this company. My third 'job' is more of a hobby. At night, I write stuff. I have begun writing a science fiction novel, which I hope I plan on publishing a few years from now.
They're all very busy work. I've come to reevaluate why I spent my time in my early twenties thinking about having a monogamous relationship when I can have all these sorted out! I've come across TRM, and the author said that in order to attract the women we want, it is best to serve our best interests first. I've learned to swallow this hard pill, but I've grown to love it because at the end, it is our own interests that will serve us best in the long term. Women just complement our ideals.
You will learn a lot after college. College embodies structure, a false structure that is. It's a place where everyone personifies sheep, in flocks, trying to follow what the norm is. It's definitely not a place for introverts like us, who only want the best for ourselves.
The way I see it, you seem to have incorporated your own ideals to the realistic ideals of the world. The 'software' you mention too often is what I would like to refer to as our introverted idealism. It's important to tailor and adapt these softwares to our worldview realistic lenses, because it allows us to train ourselves to see what's beyond our idealistic beliefs.
One comment down below said that empathy and compassion are for women only, and not for male, and I highly disagree with him on that one. You are correct. It's what help us see on a higher perspective, both on the physical and spiritual. This may go beyond the TRP terminologies, but yeah, fuck it. It's still the same positive masculinity ideology, especially for us INFPs. We are the seers, but we need the right guidance (that is TRP) to enjoy the journey as the masculine ideal.
We have to test and reassess our feelings as INFPs, because our feelings, our gut instinct, our intuition, may be right now, but it may not serve us well in the future. We should always test the validity of our feelings. It's very important if we want to be structurally systemized and effective as INFPs.
comcain 8y ago
Beautifully written. Another INFP here. Thank you for your insights.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
You are welcome. It’s just one way to practice my writing. Thanks!
TRPcez 8y ago
Hey man, great post. Could you make a post on the list of books you read on your journey?
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Thanks, I only want what's best for people like me, the introverts, the ones who people mistake as shy and weird. Here are my list of books that I can recall that helped me through my journey, as an introvert:
The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi
Quiet: The Power of Introverts In a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
TRPcez 8y ago
Thanks for the reply. Will definitely check the rest out. Keep up the good work
lifestuff69 8y ago
Interesting post, thank you.
For those unfamiliar with the term "introversion": There is some merit to the Myers-Briggs classifications (INTJ here), but introversion is a measured preference for being alone and "recharging" in isolation, nothing else. It does not mean that you can't or don't know how to interact with other people, it does not mean that you are predisposed to social awkwardness or being bad with women, it simply means that less of your energy and happiness comes from the outside world compared to extroverts.
If tailored properly to the real world, introversion can be an invaluable asset that provides you vision, purpose, self-respect, and an IDGAF mentality that, properly wielded, can make you successful and attractive. If used as an excuse for socially maladaptive behavior, awkward behavior, or isolation, introversion can be a crippling weakness.
While I am very introverted, a lot of this depends on context. I love to go out with friends and have an awesome time, but I also find people to be very annoying, unnecessary barriers when I am trying to learn something or get important work done. I have learned that to be successful in this world you must be positive, outgoing (at least selectively), and possess certain social skills that may not come naturally to everyone.
Lastly, the dichotomy of "idealist vs realist" is often one of semantics and epistemology. Ideals should be thoroughly and skeptically vetted, and if you do this they will often change over time. You can still be an idealist, but your ideals must change to reflect reality. The truth lies in navigating the middle road of these two worlds. For instance, you may have every reason to believe that someone should do something (this is your ideal), but you recognize that they don't always and that you should navigate the world accordingly (this is accepting reality). Reevaluating one's ideals is an integral part of every man's RP journey.
Kinbaku_enthusiast 8y ago
That is somewhat predicted by neuroticism rather than introversion in the big five personality model. A common misconception. The socially adjusted introverts with low neuroticism don't register as introverts to most people, whereas mild extraverts with high neuroticism are likely to still be seen as shy.
lifestuff69 8y ago
Exactly, and well put.
That, and other traits, are (currently) measured better and more accurately via the big 5 personality test.
Oscar_Cc 8y ago
Great answer. Introversion =/= shyness.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this insight.
I completely agree that ideals should be thoroughly reviewed upon learning through the journey of life. This may stray away from the heavy RP terminology as it is going beyond positive masculinity, and more so on the dichotomy, but I figured it is under the umbrella of its knowledge. However, to be more specific on the idealistic approach, it is my ideal to remain youthful (and by that I mean authentic, innocent, genuine) on romance, commitments and love. I think it's a part of who I am. Despite my fresh knowledge of TRP and my agreeable nature to accept it, it feels conflicting to reevaluate every ideal if it means having to live a life of bland reality. That is not to say that I have no ambition to gain anything of this world, as I am still a man craving for positive, personal freedom and success, socially and financially. All I'm saying is that it's difficult for one to go against his authentic self (or will, if you want to term it as such) if it means going the road mostly traveled to reap the reward.
lifestuff69 8y ago
I would advise you to check your premises. I certainly respect your right to believe anything you wish and hold certain ideals above others, but if hypergamy is not the foundational premise of your ideals (at least the ones relevant to this forum), then you have to reevaluate a few things before swallowing TRP.
A few romantic misconceptions better explained through hypergamy:
I could go on. I think it is great that you cherish your "authentic" self, and doing so is an important part of everyone's RP journey. That said, many of the ideals we construe as part of our authentic selves were put there by society. The ideals we cling on to the hardest are, ironically, the ones that should be more skeptically reexamined. There is nothing authentic, innocent, or genuine about most romantic ideals.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Thanks, kind stranger. I'm currently reading TRM, almost halfway through the book. Everything stated in it is pragmatic, real and sensible. It's a matter of adapting my personality to Tomassi's teachings. All four points you mentioned I've already swallowed, slowly, critically examining it for its subversive nature. I am not any one of the four points you mentioned, although prior to reading TRM and reading on TRP I was once, and so are most of the people here.
When I meant about romantic ideals, I was referring to the act of doing so in display of wooing a woman, that goes with spinning plates and all. Being authentic is about going your own way as opposed to the general standard of flirtation. I appreciate poetry, art and the like--most of which I would like to apply with TRP knowledge. I wouldn't say I am not suited nor am I capable of the general trend of courting, it's just not "me". Call me old fashioned, but I think that's just who I am. I get tired following the 'rules' of dating. I want to do it my own way, of course that's to implement what I've learned with TRP. If being romantically inclined (poetry, music, language, arts, etc.) means going against the hypergamous ideal, then that's on the woman and not on me, at least that's how I would think of it. If I am wrong, then it would require some reevaluation on my part. Some deep, introspective, reevaluation.
lifestuff69 8y ago
I think I misunderstood some of the things you were trying to convey, and that is on me, so I apologize. Poetry, music, language, arts, etc. do not go against the hypergamous ideal. If they did, rock stars, actors, and writers wouldn't get laid haha. What you like is not important as whether or not your affinity is authentic. Women respond to talent and authenticity because they are good indicators of value.
Game on, and best of luck.
Oscar_Cc 8y ago
That is the tragedy, innit? Either you conform yourself to what women (unconsciously) want, or you are not going anywhere.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Not necessarily. It's about understanding what women truly are, and reassessing your ideals to make things easier for you. If you want to conform, go ahead, but that would make you a textbook, structured man. You'll go far if you go your own way, so long as you stick to the principles and knowledge of TRP. After all, it's still your own life, might as well live it the way you want it.
The real tragedy here is not knowing a woman's true nature sooner than expected. We're already lucky enough to know it at this point in time.
reanimaniac 8y ago
Fellow INFP here, though I'm honestly not sure how much I buy into all that Meyer's Briggs stuff. Regardless, I feel what you're saying with that realism/realistic mindset stuff. I was pretty stubbornly adhering to my own crazy, romanticized, acid-induced spiritual view of the world a few years ago, to the point of unhealthy raging at the state of things and being stagnated in my development as a man.
Eventually, one day as I was probably stoned and brooding about how unfair everything seemed to me, something bubbled up from my subconscious that forced me to take a hard look at myself, my life, and my direction:
"A wolf in the forest doesn't complain about the necessity of the hunt, however grueling it may be. It's survival depends on it's consistency and effort put into the hunt."
Granted, wolves don't have a prefrontal cortex or evolved mental processes with which to contemplate the states of their lives, but the imagery stuck with me anyway. It help me shift from an unhealthy idealistic view of the state of things to a more realistic acceptance of the world I was born into and my lot in life. Plus, comparing myself to a wolf makes me feel badass.
Idealism is a boon for the arts and creative pursuits, but if clung to for guidance and direction, it can really castrate and blind a budding young man. That's why we thank Morpheus and take the Red Pill and see how deep the rabbit hole goes...
[deleted] 8y ago
As if written by my own hands???????????? Just don't cross post. Bad practice for TRP
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Why is it bad practice? I cross posted and it didn't quite work at the other sub lol
[deleted] 8y ago
You answered your own question.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Yes I only figured it the moment I sent the message.
[deleted]
drkinferno72 8y ago
Always thought myers Briggs was like the astrology of psychology, fun to look at but shouldn't be taken seriously
RedEmbrace 8y ago
It works like this:
"Are you introverted?"
"Yes"
"You are an introverted person."
In other words it's not for the person who takes the test but for others (like employers) to screen super fast. Or if you are literally 12 with no self-introspection skill developed. I'd say this test does have some value to it unlike Chineese years
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
It’s more of a guide to help you course through by getting to know what your personality is like based on your actions. Saying and believing what it says on the MBTI scale will definitely look like astrology if you don’t know your own behavior. I self identify myself as an INFP because I know in my heart that that’s my temperament.
WarViper1337 8y ago
It is a load of bullshit. None of it is based on scientific research or any serious kind of psychology. It was just made up by a couple of people who write books and they thought it sounded cool at the time.
drkinferno72 8y ago
Mine said intj, but it carries as much weight to me as being a saggitarius
CharCanDo 8y ago
I get what you’re saying. I am of the type you speak of. Here is what I have learned so far.
If those ideas that occupy your mind are really so exceptional as to qualify you as an “idealist,” shouldn’t they be leading to exceptional actions?
Don’t skip the simple stuff, and find something to do always. Always strive. Thinking about stuff for the feels is for women.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
Here's something to ponder on. Most guys go the traditional flirting strategy that is often done based on what they have learned from books, from society, from any kind of resource. I, on the other hand, as an idealist prefer my own way of getting the girl, no matter how much they dislike the approach. I prefer poetry, music, language--some old school Renaissance stuff. It's my individuality and I want to keep it that way. If going against these ideals mean for a hypergamous ideal and going the traditional route, then that's not 'me' and that would mean going against what I believe in.
comcain 8y ago
What I did was romance other women to feed my INFP side; my wife was not into romantic gestures. When I'd take a trip out to the Bay Area I'd always buy a woman there a dozen roses and so forth. Never tried to take it to sex, just kept me centered while trying to deal with a borderline wife. Happily demarried now for many years, never regretted romancing other women. Thanks for your posts, they're very enlightening.
peacemakerzzz 8y ago
You’re welcome. I’ve learned a lot since I wrote this post. Let me share you another insight. Romance is a great way to express yourself, whether women like the approach or not. I am confident there’s a niche market of women who are into these kinds of things. With that in the way of things, it is very important to always consider the hypergamous ideal. Women will only appreciate it if they know you’re not pleasing them. They know if you’re trying too hard. It’s important to consider that while you are under the influence of the Renaissance ideal, you must have a value in society for them to appreciate your way of doing things—at least that’s how I like to see things. So far it seems the right direction for someone who loves poetry and language.