Hey, I have a female friend I’m only platonically friends with. She often calls me when she has problems, when something has happened to her, or when she’s not doing well. Basically, in those phone calls I’m her therapist.

You say she's a friend, and you're listing what you do for her.

What does she do for you? Would you accept this one sided friendship from a man?

One day I was out with a good friend and her, and several conversation topics came up. The guy is a player who has been with multiple women and talks about it. When he asked me when I last had something (sex), she answered that I was probably still a virgin and that I generally come across as too nice for that.

Ok. In this context "nice" means "asexual". It means you're not making sexual comments, talking about sex, or physically escalating towards sex.

You need to understand this meaning, because it's easily misunderstood. It's a cover story, because she doesn't want to clue you in on how to fix this, and she doesn't want to admit that she's attracted to sexual men and therefore wants sex.

Later she told him that I’m such a sweet and nice guy and called me a good boy.

Ok

What do you guys think of the whole thing?

I think you're offering free counselling services, and she knows you don't have better options.

You are letting boundaries slip because you don't have other options.

Or..... you do have other options, but you are failing to convey that.

The thing is, we got to know each other through a mutual circle of friends.

Sure

At the beginning it was still cool and normal for me. After all, she was already friends with the other guys before we were. We talked on the phone and hung out every now and then.

Right. As friends. Like an asexual guy would.

For me, starting a relationship with her was completely out of the question, because she has too high a body count, she’s already been with guys I know, and she has a type who is the exact opposite of me looks-wise. Those are absolute deal-breakers for me that I can’t negotiate on.

Awesome.

At some point she said that she can talk well with me, that it’s like talking to a woman who understands her. She also said that I’m like her therapist. Those were already two things that stood out to me negatively.

Yeah. The problem is this: SHE DOES NOT RESPECT YOU.

You've got clear boundaries on not wanting to be with her (great), but now you are behaving towards her like a "nice guy" would.

You've been too nice. You've not expressed "fuck no" towards her (and you shouldn't, you have to be subtle about it), but it's come across as supplication.

She talked way too often about her ex,

Right. You shouldn't be friends with women who talk about men negatively. I know that's most of them, but this is a big red flag even to friendship: she's happy to gossip negatively about him, she will be about you too. Talking about intimate partners in a friend group is extremely poor form and she should be called out on it...... she wouldn't like men talking about having sex with her, would she?

that the men she wants are into women who more closely match the beauty ideal,

Well, they always say this..... it's basically blaming men for her not measuring up. She's complaining about the rules because she can't compete. She isn't saying "I'm not good enough", she's finding ways to blame men for her own lack of performance in the sexual market place.

that she’ll probably die alone, that she has insecurities about her looks compared to other perfect women, etc.

But these women are not perfect. They're just more attractive than she is. Claiming they are "perfect" is a way to blame men, and imply her only fault is lack of perfection. Not that she's unattractive... just.... imperfect. And men want perfect. You see the game I think by now.

She also has way too many traumas with her ex, her mother, and her childhood.

Traumas that she is allowing to affect her mate and dating choices.

The third thing was the “good boy” comment — that was too much.

Yes. Good. I mean, this whole thing.

Honestly, this is great. You've got very clear signals from her, which is rare.

She is framing you as asexual: learn to combat this (in a relaxed, low key way).

She's also a gossip, and you've become friends with her and let her walk all over you. Even if you're not sexually interested in her, you've still let this happen.

Two solid lessons: boundaries on one sided friendships, don't be friends with gossips.

I’ve generally met new people at the martial arts gym and made contact with them. Through them I’ve become more masculine again, like I was 5–6 years ago. I told them a bit about it and everyone found it weird that I have so much contact with a girl I’m neither sleeping with nor in a relationship with.

They have a point

I complained to one of them because she often demands that I cut off contact or unfollow her old female friends after she’s argued with them. My buddy said it’s my own fault, because through all the contact I come across to her like a female friend who has to get involved in her arguments with her girlfriends and who has to be told everything.

Yes

Through this new environment and the red-pill content I’ve been watching recently and a few months ago, it feels like I’ve been beta-ized by her. But to me and my old circle it seemed normal.

Right. There is some nuance here, but basically I agree.

My new buddy says it’s the worst kind of beta behavior to be friends with a woman who’s being run through by other guys.

Slightly disagree: it's not that she's been fucked half to death...... it's that she's bitter, negative and gossipy. And you listen to it all, for free, for reasons that I genuinely don't understand.

So tell me: why are you offering her free counselling services at your cost?