I had an LTR for 2 years. Things were mostly good and she changed to being a housewife style girl who cooked and cleaned and just waited for me at home. Because of added work stress I neglected her alot, and went out drinking and spent some money on other girls (tipping) and she found out through my credit card transactions. Because of her own past of her dad cheating on her mom, she couldn't take it and needed to breakup and move away.
However, she says she wants to stay friends with benefits, and I told her I'm ok as long as she doesn't go around fucking anyone or meeting any other guy. She agreed. She says she still loves me and all but can't get this idea of me lying to her again and again out of her head, and that she can't trust me.
What's happening here? On my end, I'm fine with this deal, on the other hand, why is she doing this to herself? She has been a 10/10 girl, I have said that I would be ok for her to continue our relationship together anytime, but she says she needs to stay alone for now.
Another reason is she said if she stays with me all this while she felt unloved, because I've been neglecting her alot (which is true, i basically ignore her), and that I only find her for sex. She also says that if we stay together she will feel obligated to do lots of chores and housework for me, and even me telling her not to do them, she will continue. Says she needs a break
Please advise. I am now meeting her tonight for movies still, we are still gonna be fucking, but I don't understand why she would not want to pursue a relationship? (Could it be her own family and childhood trauma of parents divorcing etc? Single mother raised her after 12.)
MrSupreme 1d ago
That's her exit strategy, she's giving you plausible deniability.She may leave, she won't. With TRP, you know better, you could fuck her for a few more weeks/months thinking you still have her under your thumb, then she'll leave you.
Or you could fuck her for 2-4 weeks and end it yourself.
Also, on the rare case she goes back in your house, it won't be the same, she will most likely cheat and become an insufferable woman, nagging, bitching, complaining and always draining you emotionally.
No-Stress-Cat 2 2d ago
This is excellent self-reflection. When we can recognize and admit our own faults in these situations, it makes us grow to be better.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4d ago
Cooking and cleaning isn't proof a girl is a good girl. Even a whore can cook and clean, that's basic adulting, not a good girl checklist
This is never going to work out. She is never going to stay exclusive. Just assume she is going to fuck men. You can't go exclusive with fuck buddies without committing long term, which she already oddly enough demoted you from, which is a red flag that she found dick honestly
They always fuck someone eventually when this is the arrangement, why would you enter this arrangement when she's in a meat market.
She wants to find or already found other dick
I would next. Exes usually need to stay exes
WanderOverYonder 3d ago
100% she found another dick. Women don't demote their partners for "moral reasons" because of her brain running monkey branch mode in the background at all times, otherwise, speaking from mother's nature perspective it would be a complete loss for her.
After demotion you won't get the same version that girl ever again, new version will always be inferior. Doesn't matter if she demoted herself or you did.
SeasonedRP 2 4d ago
She's going to be looking for your replacement. I wouldn't put much stock in what she says.
First-light 2 3d ago
She has basically decided that, although she is attracted to you, you are not a keeper. She has decided you are plate only material and she will spin you until either you break or something better turns up to monkey branch to.
You ignored her, went drinking and spent money on valueless women. Those are big red flags that exclude a man from being a keeper in all but exceptional cases. Its not impossible that you could change her mind by stating an intent to turn over a new leaf and then doing so but usually once the magic is gone from a man, it can't be called back for a woman.
Spin her till something breaks is probably the easiest way to go. Try to save it if you really want her, all you have to lose is getting butt hurt. Next her if you just want to start over with a fresh girl. But do take on board the lesson. No amount of red pill will wipe out a red flag.