So this has happened twice. I will keep it short.
Recently, I met a girl at social gathering. Mind you, most guys were competing like retards for her attention at this place. But I just asked her one specific question through the night. I only asked her if she was from [a particular place in my country]. Then this guy laughed and said how would you know that? I said to both of them non nonchalantly "because of her accent".
Fast forward two days, I dont know how but she found my instagram. Added me and I added her back. We chatted a day or two and I immediately asked her to meetup. I wanted to lead with my own frame. She didn't resist and we met-up at a local bar.
Things started to feel off from here on. She had no personality. I mean, I was doing all the talking. She was insanely curious about me and what I thought about stuff. She started asking me if sales was a great career path. I didn't know why. She said she was interested. I started talking about the pros and cons but mostly the cons as to how brutal it is with the hours, constant churning, and travels. Its fun when young but its a game of survival of the fittest. I wont lie, I went on a tangent for whole 15 mins like a retard.
Now, she started asking me about my hobbies and oh boy. I went all in about this one particular hobby I have had for years. Through the night, it was just me talking, She just asked questions with dreamy eyes and I kept on going. I talked about a range of topics.
Then she hit me with something- she was 10 years younger than me. I am 30 and she was 20. I didnt react and she asked me what I thought of the age gap. I just shrugged it off and didnt pay attention to her question. I remember saying why would I think anything?
Then I suggested we go to a this view point in my city. It was a bit far but the car ride and the walk by the view point overlooking the skyline was romantic. Or So I thought.
We spent 30 mins there and then I said I am going to kiss you now because I find you very cute. She said no, sorry and something else [generic rejection]. I dropped her off and never reached out again.
My question is what kind of a vibe I probably gave off that whole night? I am pretty successful when I am not doing the talking with other chicks but whenever I have had to talk more than the girl, I have always been rejected.
This same story has played out previously as well with another chick who was younger than me by 6 years. They seem super interested at first and take the initiative. But then, well you know. I end up cock-blocking myself.
mattyanon Admin 1d ago
Talking and doing too much.
Girl is boring. These girls are a pain: you're bored and you probably can't click with them because of it.
"I'm going to kiss you now" is not good.
Set the mood..... touching... physically escalate.... then at some point do triangle gazing and slowly lean in.
OR
physical touching and work the kisses up her neck, along her jaw, until you're at her lips
OR
while changing venue... lead her to be in front of you..... drag her back and kiss her spontaneously.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Well there you go champ, you have a chance to fuck. If they go out with you at all they are giving you a chance to smash as long as you don't talk them out of it
And you talked her out of it
So? You don't acknowledge it. Or pass it like a shit test. Fail.
Women talk, men do
Why would you announce this out loud?
..............
Bruh.
Stop simping
"Wow, I wanted to fuck this guy and he just didn't get 'it'"
"They think I'm a Chad but then I talk them out of it"
You talk too damn much. They think you're a hawt Chad and then you announce that you - in fact - are not because your mouth does more work than your vibe
Boy did I call it, I hadn't even gotten to this part of the post yet
Yeah, because women are often boring when all they have to offer is pussy. In which case, you just tease them at their expense for your enjoyment to get them to start talking and then you smash, by offering to go somewhere else or making a move and then offering to go somewhere else, or offering to go somewhere else and then making a move
Sometimes the only indicator of interest you get from a woman is that she is not leaving. So do something with it
Because you assumed it was you instead of their own boring ass
Yeah. Obviously. So don't
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
I remember learning the kiss lesson the hard way. A BPD told me that instead of saying something they just wanted me to go for it
Somehow still smashed her but I never recovered from my lack of action
If they are looking at your mouth, laughing and staring, smiling at you a lot, or there is an awkward tense pause they want you to just do it
If there is an obvious vibe at all you can kind of just do it
Some moments are more clear than others. Some are less clear but they just will not leave no matter what and that's a good sign
Look for the obvious signs and if not if there is at least a reasonable enough reason to think there is an actual vibe then just kiss them on a high note or a tense silence where she is obviously waiting for something
The best sign I ever get when I've failed to make a move is the hug at the end of the date and they ABSOLUTELY DON'T LET GO and you're just hanging there
Guaranteed kiss after if you just do it
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 1w ago
Nothing to add except my upvote.
Musicgoon78 3 1w ago
OP your really don't need any other answer except this.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Much appreciated
ballsofsteel Should i (x1) 1w ago
Yeah I agree with what you are saying here. I think when I talk at length I enter the feminine frame. Need to stop doing it because it never gets me what I want. Crazy thing is I don't even talk frivously. As Partice O Neal used to say, men talk with a philosophy behind their bs. And I do too.
But nowadays these younger chicks are trained by the TikTok and Instagram algorithms to only get wet by non-chalant mysterious guys. Need to remind myself of this everytime I fancy a lay from here on.
She had huge tits. Too bad zero personality to go with them.
GeorgeIII 1 1w ago
I don’t mean this in a mean fuck you kind of way, but from your own description your game sounds pretty questionable.
I’d avoid talking a long time about work and about something the girl knows nothing. And you did both with sales. Reason: it’s boring to her (and to other people in general). And in the case of work specifically, leaning too hard into it can put you on the beta bucks track if your work is known to be lucrative. Mention it briefly, then move on.
The part where she asks you about the age gap is either her insecurity, a shit test, or both. It’s actually a great opportunity to gain attraction points in her eyes, by not giving a fuck or completely making fun of it.
I’d also posit this: generally, the younger someone is, the worse their social skills, at least in the West. So yours might be mediocre, or at least in development. But her social skills are probably in the toilet: young, cute, and on TikTok all day (I assume). Especially with the age difference, there’s a lot of pressure on you to carry the convo, which is both “unfair” AND empowering as a man.
ballsofsteel Should i (x1) 1w ago
Fair take. I need to re-read this a couple of times.
Can I ask something? So, I am a conventionally attractive guy and I was completely oblivious about this until I was like 25. As to why, I will skip the sob story.
Now that I am aware, I am still not able to just be an asshole with women. I fall prey to my beta upbringing. What am I trying to understand now is how do I be more direct without worrying about #metoo and harrassment case?
Chads, I have a few friends, they just meetup with a girl somewhere public first and then after like 10 mins they just straight up tell her they would be going back to his place now. Something along these lines.
I have seen it work. If I do this, I just worry about her creating a scene or just straight up filing a case against me?
It sounds crazy but I just know true success and my male freedom is being withheld from me as hostage because of this fear.
What do you think I suppose I do? Cold approach more in a foreign country where no one knows me or something?
GeorgeIII 1 1w ago
The thing I see with being a Chad, is that it’s not a yes/no status. You can be more attractive than average and get away with some risky stuff, or you can be such a Chad you just have girls throwing themselves at you. You can be a guy who gets 1 match a day on Tinder (pretty good!) or a guy who gets 10.
As a guy who somewhat recently ascended, all since age 25 as well, I feel you. It’s like being in a new superhero body with new powers, but not knowing how to use them.
One thing that has helped me is just more intuitively reading the girl I’m talking too and not overthinking my first instinct. A lot of people (intentionally or not) have told me essentially that my instinct is wrong. But in this era of MeToo and poor social skills, I’ve learned that usually my gut is right.
———
The thing with “just be confident” is that it’s 1000% easier after you’ve had success. If you’ve only recently ascended, it will take time.
I’d recommend gradually making riskier moves. This is in contrast to automatically making a full-blown nuclear sex move, which is often done blindly without reading the woman at hand.
Heck, I’m in a somewhat similar boat to you. And I’ve got a chance to follow my own advice tomorrow. I’ll report back here when it’s done, for my own accountability.
GeorgeIII 1 1w ago
Self-accountability time here.
So I had her isolated 1:1, but she was giving what I thought were mixed signals. Looking at me, but keeping her distance. When I’d make a sexual joke, she’d try to change the topic or sidestep it. She wasn’t very touchy with me.
So I just went for it, did more kino like petting her head and grabbing her hand, then kissed her, and later we were making out. Didn’t fuck yet, but she bought me a concert ticket for me to go with her tonight. Let’s see how it goes.
Lesson: if you get even 1/3 signals that are positive (in my case it was looking at me, and being isolated with me). Probably valid for an even lower ratio than 1/3. Just progress up the kino risk ladder gradually, not an autistic one-shot jump.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Also OP, sometimes a "no" is "not right NOW"
Sometimes a girl won't let you kiss her or doing anything else and 10 minutes later she's asking if you have a condom
Just take a no for what it's worth and if it's a persistent no it's just a straight up no