Hi TRP,
Asking for peer support (and/or roasting for getting beta).
I have been in a long LTR which I acquired after finding TRP. Relationship started great, I was TRP aware and acted mostly alpha.
Years went by, she was adoring me like I was superhuman. Then we got a baby. I was so proud and of course started caring for baby. In this point I probably got also beta and opened up too much with her.
Less than year after the birth I noticed clear condom smell down there... A couple of times when she had been away. I didnt say a word at first but she started acting very suspicious. Like complaining after sex.
Then I confronted her and she started acting very guilty. Never confessed though. Just million explanations and "possibilities" where "rubber" smell could come from.
I was sure to end it there, but got weak and wanted to believe her. And of course to not separate the family.
Years went by and got another kid. Some time after this disrespect started again: some heavy shit testing, attention seeking even from relatives (men) etc. Decided it is over now.
Please roast me for getting weak beta. How do you see willingness to not separate because of kids?
Please tell me also there is only one way condom smell gets down there. The gaslighting is heavy...

First-light 2 2w ago
You say LTR -sounds like you have wisely avoided marriage. If so, very well done. You are safer than many in your predicament.
Women change when they have children. Its like dormant circuits in the brain are activated and then remain on for life. A fully mature woman woman (a mother) is not the same as a childless woman. The problem is (if you have the wisdom to avoid used goods) you buy into a childless one and then roll the dice. After becoming a mother the way she sees the world and her priorities change. You meanwhile get effected a little by her pregnancy and nursing hormones and actually change your behaviour to become "more beta" as you put it. This is scientifically proven to be inevitable to some extent.
The problem is that as she comes into her mature female brain and into her power as a mother, if she changes in ways that are bad for you, it can cause a situation a little like the one where the frog is gradually boiled alive in water that very slowly gets hotter. You know you are not comfortable but you bought into this. You are a well intentioned and honourable man. Dumping the mother of your children is a "nuclear option" that may win you huge criticism from society -unless you have a magic get out of jail card like she was unfaithful -which will make your choice excusable. Its a lot easier to stay in case you make a big mistake. But if she is the wrong woman for you, the water just keeps getting hotter but each increment it heats up, you still choose to stay.
So what to do? I have myself tried more than one solution over time. I have, after much agonising, dumped a cold bitch, not seen my children for 20 years and been certain it was the best thing I ever did. I have also soldiered for a long time on when my heart was not in it and that had consequences for the relationship that were not good and really messed with her head causing her to mistreat a child of mine that was not hers in revenge (so that had to end). On the next occasion, I stuck with it and am presently pretty close to the end of serving the 20 year sentence for impregnation and considering my options. What I can say is that you will face a choice -lose your kids or become a massive slave to your ex, working constantly to please her, fit in with her and help her, just to get access to your kids. It makes it hard to have a life of your own or move on with another woman and if she proves hard to work, losing your kids and starting over is the better option. (Women hold all the power over your kids once you split with them). I have done it. It hurts but life goes on. That's the options you have to weight, whether or not you have a get out of jail card for infidelity.
Condom smell -first off always assume a thing is what it looks like unless proven otherwise. I appreciate that there is a difficulty here in that when deciding whether to dump the mother of his children, a wise man naturally demands a high burden of proof. It may be very hard to obtain this but unless you can prove that she is innocent here, the smell added to her other behaviours must count as very strong evidence towards dumping, even if you can't point to it as the actual nail in the coffin. Weight everything together if you can't disprove it. How does she normally behave when innocent? Most of us at first don't get what the other person is on about or that they take it seriously and this can look guilty but once we do get it, then we get quite up set when falsely accused and deny the accusation. The guilty (if inexperienced in deceit) tend to have more trouble in boldly declaring "That is a crock of shit" (unless you make the mistake of teaching them this).
I have minimal experience with condoms but latex has a unique smell. I asked AI and it seems that things other than latex can have a latex smell -things like synthetic rubber. The only possible thing I can think of might be a lycra containing underwear gusset on a long sweaty day. But this should be replicable on any given long sweaty day and it is also likely that her whole bottom would smell a bit latexy not just the vulva area.
I would also DNA test your kids whatever. DNA testing is cheap as chips, fun and tells you a lot. If you test the mother too you can even see if you have weaknesses that might combine badly (which could be a reason for starting over with someone else). If you fear her being a bitch over DNA testing, then yes, you probably do have a huge fidelity problem because at best she does not even know for certain if the kids are yours. Buy kits and covertly get samples first (just in case she is obstructive), then tell her you want to do the testing. If she is cool with it, then great -just take more samples or fake doing so. If she is obstructive, that tells you something you need to know. Be glad you have the samples you already took either in the mail or far from her.
Corp 2w ago
Huge thanks for a thoughtful reply!
There are more troubling things in her behavior, which cannot be written in public. My intuition says that she secretly despises men and likes to play very dark head games with them... Btw, she was married before, but very short time and no kids. Infidelity definitely in her marriage, guess why I know...
She has huge daddy issues from childhood. Major red flag that I foolishly ignored, partly because everything was perfect for many years.
What comes to the condom smell, she sensed my confrontation beforehand and declared to never have cheated on me. After that, I revealed the smell and her micro-gesture was horrible panic... Afterwards there were several days of finding more or less stupid explanations. But no confession. My gut feeling never went away... I guess this is a done deal.
DNA-tests will be done, definitely. I already said that and she clearly got upset. I backed off a bit to make the tests first covertly...
Musicgoon78 3 2w ago
We sure took different routes with this didn't we? Lol!
Brother I just want to give my sympathy for your pain with your kids. I know how awful that is. I got baby trapped before TRP. That what brought me here. I've only got 2 months until my daughter turns 18 and both of us get the taste of sweet sweet freedom!
You're a saint for giving such a thoughtful reply. I do agree with the DNA testing. That's more definitive proof of infidelity. Good call!
Musicgoon78 3 2w ago
I know we agreed about the DNA test.
I forgot about something I read about so I googled it. In some states and countries, it is illegal to get a DNA test without the mothers permission.
OP should keep his mouth shut about doing a DNA test or look up the laws in his area.
First-light 2 1w ago
Good point about the DNA test legality. I would be interested to know if guys can usually get an effective work around by mailing the kit out of state? One hopes that if foul feminists can drop abortion pills by drone in Poland to avoid local laws, there must be a way for men to get access to the truth.
Thanks for your sympathy about my kids. You have done really well to work with your ex right up to the finishing line.
Corp 2w ago
I know the laws here, but thanks.
Musicgoon78 3 2w ago
Here we go.... This is going to be a shit show. Naw bro, you weren't alpha at all. You were "acting*. That's mistake 1
No got. You decided to make a baby. This was your decision and now your responsibility to manage,. You're playing on hard mode. Did you treat your baby momma like she was a girlfriend? Did you game her? Sounds like that would be a no.
Here we go again with this fucking autistic alpha bullshit. You don't understand it at all and this fucked you over. Here's the thing, you loved this woman enough to have a kid with her and you expect that acting like an unfeeling robot is going to avoid any problems? Start living in the real world.
For fucks sake! This is your fucking tell? How fucking retarded! Where is down there? The basement or did you dive strait into her pussy when she got home? Does this chick shower? If this is your only tell congrats, you're a paranoid moron.
I guarantee you acted like you didn't trust her and gave her a shitty dicking. Women notice these things.
No shit.. She was probably thrown off guard with this stupid shit. Especially if that was your only evidence. You handled this poorly.
It's official. You sir are a retard. Let's just get this straight: you think she's a cheater so you reward her with another kid?? Well wasn't that clever?
Sounds like you have a submissive side. Ghey. You've asserted you were alpha. You never were and there is no such thing. Guys like you are so beyond help. You never should have found the red pill. You bought into a stupid alpha trope instead of understanding the tools everyone gave you. You also used none of them.
My advice is to look in the mirror and slap yourself hard for being a phaggot. Drop this phony alpha act. It's ruining your life Focus on being a good dad to your kids. Depending on the laws in your area you might be completely fucked as moms have all the power. And now as a father you broke the family dynamic. Raising kids properly is a big time investment. You gave yourself a lot less freedom to fuck up future relationships with your stupidity. You dug this hole, not her. So don't start blaming your babymomma for your failings as a man. Own your shit.
Corp 2w ago
Thanks for proper roasting. I know it's my responsibility and I have done mistakes.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 1w ago
Those terms are misused so much, that they've virtually lost all useful meaning. Too many people just use "alpha" for good and "beta" for bad.
The only useful meaning I've ever seen was what Athol Kay said and MRP has followed since: alpha = arousal (dopamine, if memory serves) and beta = comfort (oxytocin, if memory serves).
Too much unearned beta behavior too soon will turn a woman off, but it's necessary for anything long-term. You need a balance of both. Too much of either one isn't good, and not enough of either one is also not helpful.
Anyway...
That's not even beta. That's just foolish.
I haven't used a condom since 2004, but this sounds odd. I don't recall a smell lingering from the latex. I could be wrong, but I think your mind may have been playing tricks on you.
Never a good idea.
If she's innocent, you make yourself look like a paranoid retard.
If she's guilty, she'll just get better at hiding it.
after you suspect cheating?! Why would you do that?!
I'm going to echo the suggestion for DNA testing, depending on what your local laws are.
I also strongly suggest you head to /r/MarriedRedPill and read their sidebar.
Corp 1w ago
Thanks! There are condom brands that really stink a lot, at least where I live. After using, even the dick stinks like latex for a day when dropping pants.
Yes another kid was foolish. I was weak and wanted to believe cheating never happened... Well I'm here now and will work on being a better man.
I have actually looked at MRP for advice during the years. But clearly I have been way too sloppy.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 1w ago
Red Pill and Married Red Pill aren't about piecemeal advice for specific situations, but rather building yourself up and being ready to deal with consequences of your decisions, both good and bad.