Recently, LTR has been denying sex under different reasons (she’s full, her pussy is scratched from when we last fucked, she’s very tired etc)
Yesterday we were really out and about doing stuff and during the entire day she would be like “I guess we could fuck after” or general sex forecasting and I would not say anything to that because I just think it’s weird.
It’s like she herself tries to pedastalize her own pussy.
So last night, we watched something on netflix and whenever I tried to grab her boob or ass without even the intention of taking it further than that she would remove my hand. So I tried to initiate a bit harder and she was like “my pussy is scratched, we can fuck tomorrow, just masturbate or hump my ass and cum”
I just had enough and said maybe a bit reactive and without much chill “Listen, I know you think very highly of your pussy but please try to understand that pussy has never been a scarce resource to me and I will not be in a sexless relationship” among the lines I said something about “I could step out on a street right now and get a blowjob” referencing the one time she “playfully” said - wash the dishes and you might get a blowjob
After that, I pretended like everything was normal but she became distant. After a while I went to bedroom, she joined me but after like 10 minutes, she took her ipad and went to the living room where I could hear her moan lightly for like 15 minutes, probably masturbating. Is this the ultimate form of disrespect? Is my only option to leave now?
She then fell asleep on the couch and I dressed up and went out (this is 1am) I come back and find her asleep in the bedroom
Our SMV gap is huge, I mog her in this aspect to Mumbai and back, so I sometimes wonder how she even feels comfortable enough to apply these many shit tests
Is it over?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 10h ago Stickied
Other than the previous posts you have about the green card or moving or whatever you provide very little details for how it got like this
It is very hard to advise such vagueness
Charisma 10h ago Stickied
She is 48 but hot and very redpill woman, been married once for 15 years for a closeted man, no kids
Assumed body count is to be higher because after her failed marriage I know she went on a splurge
From what I gathered she has had redpill partners in the past, but guys were usually older so I just can’t expect to match to their level of redpill groundedness, but I consistently make effort to be the best version of myself and I guess trying is what matters. Regularly post here in order to get to that level but you probably realised by the amount of posts I made that I am kinda lost and constantly am taking steps and taking steps back regarding my redpill improvement
I am 23, peak physique and career wise for now, constantly working on myself, but obviously don’t have the emotional maturity that she has
Met her while I was working in NYC and she provided me with so much comfort that I caught oneitis
Invited her to come to my country and she is now staying with me for 4 months in my country (Balkans) and then we will go back to NYC together. My plan is to marry her and exercise my expertise in IT within the US as it will be a great step for me regarding my monetary future and allow me to retire by 35 which is my life goal.
Evenso, her being post-wall and me being at my prime, I feel like I constantly have to deal with shit tests or comfort tests with her and her constantly evaluating my masculinity which can be exhausting. I just don’t know how she’s not bowing on her hands and knees to me.
What else would you like to know?
GeorgeIII 1 1h ago
A side lesson learned: be careful of having your woman live with you. Even 4 months was too long apparently.
And the age difference explains why she would talk about paying for your flight too.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 9h ago
Wtf are you doing man. Almost none of the rest of this post should have any relevance to your problems
As far as I'm concerned this green card and her sponsoring you is the only thing going for this
Charisma 7h ago
I know that’s the only thing but I still need advice to be able to retain this “relationship” and attraction
How does she allow herself this many shit tests if she’s aware of the SMV difference
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 4h ago
Shit tests are usually done out of instinct. They rarely even realize they're doing them.
Check it out. My youngest brother married a woman to help her with her immigration shit so she could finish her masters. It was a terrible idea.
Marriage is a terrible idea for men in the west anyway (and I say that as a man who has been married 20 years), but a marriage based on just that is an even worse idea.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 3h ago Stickied
Reading through your OP and your subsequent replies to various comments has led me to conclude:
1) you are not ready for an LTR or marriage. This is fine, as it should not be your goal anyway. I've said so to other men on this site multiple times, and I should probably make a standalone post about it. From what you've said, and if it's all true, you should be able to spin plates very easily. I recommend you do that. If one denies you, fuck a different one. True abundance.
2) even if you were ready, she is unworthy of your commitment. That's also fine. Women worthy of commitment are few and far between. A woman's behavior does not improve AFTER marriage! Right now? Before you and her have exchanged vows and gotten the state involved in your business? That's her best behavior. She's going to get worse. Every man on this site who has ever been married will back me up on this.
3) if you want a path to US citizenship or a green card or whatever, find s different one. She's going to make your life suck, and being here won't be worth what she puts you through.
First-light 2 1h ago
Unless he is a real grifter who can treat the relationship as a job, this is good advice.
They never get better at putting out than in the early days. Never.
First-light 2 5h ago
This all sounds pretty dire. If you were not playing her to get a green card, you would not be there. She may not be all that great at relationships given her age and her being single.
My take is that you are confusing things here a bit. You are worrying about getting sex with a post wall woman you are not really into and who simply is not wanting sex with you much. You are still thinking like she is a girl friend and you want it to work out between you. You have all the SMV advantage and she is the one gaming you by hinting at sex and then denying you and going off to masturbate -presumably what she looked at will be in your history.
You are not really her boyfriend, you are a toy boy or a gigolo and I think it might help you to start thinking that way. This relationship is not about your pleasure, its about her pleasure and your green card. Get that right and you have a small chance of fixing things. Avoid facing that fact and I see only doom for you in this.
I recommend you see yourself as a service provider -fairly similar to a hot slut chasing after a fat old business man. That slut is not going to be sexually satisfied by the old half impotent business man. She is going to be satisfied by his wallet and a wedding ring that means she will not work again. She won't be telling him to sort his act out and get his limp dick going because she can get sex on any street corner. She will be saying "Don't worry big boy we can do it tomorrow, let me massage your back and bring you a glass of wine" She will know she has to lock this guy down and then she can get railed by the local Chad on the sly. The only time she will resort to gaming him by actually reminding him of her SMV will be if after months of making him fall in love and nurturing him and pretending to be proud walking along beside him, she has not given her an engagement ring, then she will turn it on but this tactic gives a great big hit to the mark's confidence and security, its a minus for the actual relationship in order to force a plus result for the grifter. You need to be building this relationship or you will lose all your hard work soon I fear. You do not have enough relationship capital to be forcing your mark. The only way you can make your SMV work for you is silently by looking amazing and talking -but not flirtily- to hot young women. She will see the SMV difference. It will create some dread but you can't make her question your devotion. She won't be keen to invite infidelity into her home.
Treat her like a queen in public. Make her feel you are proud of her. In private take care of her. In the bedroom -when she wants it and only when she wants it treat her like a massive slut, enjoy her every way she will let you and pretend you are totally into her. When you are frustrated either push it out of your mind or find a coping mechanism you can use that will not get you caught. She has feel she is your beloved at this stage or she won't be taking misery home with her. I am not saying simp out and promise to love her forever but do not show her the opposite. Give her hope to work towards not not so much dread she runs away.
She has the final say here. You have to be what she wants you to be for you to get your green card. Whatever you may say about the validity of your tactics, she is not feeling this right now, so you need to do something different if you want a green card from this woman.
Charisma 5h ago
@Vermillion-RX
GeorgeIII 1 5h ago
I second @First-light on not making overt threats about getting pussy elsewhere. Making overt threats usually looks weak, and then you need to follow through on them or they have no value. Flirting lightly with other girls would be more effective.
Also, @Charisma I’m not sure what you mean when you say she is red pilled, or that her previous partners are red pilled. That they actually looked out for men’s interests? Or they just aren’t giga soy liberals?
Marrying a guy who turned out to be secretly gay, and having 0 children is still a MASSIVE fuckup by a western woman (assuming she did want kids).
Charisma 4h ago
I looked them up on socials. They all seem to be men doing man shit, owning companies/ smaller businesses, they are all in shape and have enough money to do whatever the fuck they want it seems like
Her husband was not redpill, just a regular phag
GeorgeIII 1 1h ago
Having money and businesses does not make one red pill. Look at Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates, both lost half their wealth to gold diggers in divorce. And Bezos is at it with a plastic surgery post wall woman AGAIN. Same goes for guys who go weightlifting or fishing, doesn’t mean they are any-pilled.
No clue what it means for this woman to be red pilled. If she isn’t infected by the image of the Disney courtship and wedding, I guess that would be a start.
Charisma 5h ago
Just be bluepilled? I thought about that honestly but I really wanted to see other users input on it. Thank you First-light, you always give an indepth insightful read
First-light 2 5h ago
Be covert. All women want the blue pill. No woman actually wants the red pill as the red pill gives her less than a quality blue pill Chad. She just wants blue pill men she can manipulate to her own ends. Occasionally she can't understand why she stopped liking a blue pill nice guy but that didn't stop her marrying him first.
Use your red pill knowledge and realise she is looking for the impossible but you have to pretend to be the unicorn who brings youth and good looks, is into her and puts up with her post wall perimenopausal shit. Trust me shit tests have nothing on perimenopausal shit . Shit tests are fake and you walk through them unfazed. The perimenopause is the real deal. She actually thinks she means what she says -just like with PMT but worse and with no warning. If you want the green card, you will just have to walk through the shit that men her age avoid and other toy boys can't stick.
Charisma 4h ago
So should I go and apologise to her? Even though the disrespect was massive? Kiss her and tell her I love her?
First-light 2 4h ago
Apology is difficult. I wouldn't grovel as that's not hugely attractive. Can you do it simply, warmly, masculinely and get out? If you are not confident you can do this, I would stick to showing her you love her. 48 hours of a different approach can make a huge difference to a relationship dynamic when you are with each other the whole time.
All this scratched pussy thing -is this an ageing woman's dryness? I have never been accused of scratching a pussy, occasionally wearing one sore or hammering a cervix but those are rare. Pussies are designed to be pounded. Could this be a question of lubrication and a slower technique in an older woman? Probably just be a lack of her desire but worth checking.
Charisma 1h ago
I got her a rose and said “Listen, I thought about last night and realised that what I said was disrespectful, I didn’t mean a lot of what I said. I apologise” gave her a forehead kiss and went to a separate room, she followed and sat in my lap and kissed me
I don’t know if this restored my frame or just thought her that she can get positive reinforcement from acting bad
But I guess we will see
First-light 2 1h ago
Its very tough to tell from a distance if it reinforces bad behaviour or not. You can't let this happen too much or it will create a cycle of bad behaviour and reward but a one off as a re-set can be great sometimes. its important not to apologise for wanting sex just for the "I can get a blowjob anywhere you old baggage" bit.
If you can create unbroken harmony between you for a day or two then its very reasonable to say "look I am in my early 20's. I have peak testosterone. I love you and I accept what comes with -more wisdom, less sex drive- you but please accept that this -young dumb and full of cum- comes with me and we can find a way to balance our needs. Lets talk about sex and how to keep us both satisfied" Making her invest willingly in keeping you satisfied increases her sunk cost in the relationship, which makes her much more likely to put out on the green card, so its a good idea, if she can willingly invest. Giving you a blow job when the pussy is not running smoothly is a good compromise if she can want to do it. Treating her lovingly and understandingly so she can't bear not being with you, might just do it? I dunno but I think its worth a shot. If you push for it though, the investment is not willing and it is of much less value as sunk cost, maybe even a duty which is a negative asset to you.