LTR. We had an agreement about blocking exes. Obviously I know blocking anyone is not gonna change anything, she can still at any time fuck anybody, it was moreso a hoop for her to jump through and she did.
I checked her Instagram followers/activity and had logs downloaded on my laptop. She ended up seeing it.
I didn’t deny it. Played it off like: “yeah I needed to check if you blocked your exes like we agreed” (kept it light, joked a bit)
Didn’t apologize, didn’t over-explain, didn’t get defensive.
Now I’m wondering:
• How much damage does something like this actually do?
• Is this seen as low trust/insecurity even if there was a prior agreement?
• Best way to handle it going forward completely drop it or address it once cleanly?Main concern is whether this is a small, recoverable slip or something that sticks subconsciously.
Curious how you guys would rate this and what the optimal next move is.
GeorgeIII 1 1w ago
OP, I’m guessing it’s this same girl you’re writing about in your last few posts. I guess you are pretty new to RP and relationship ships.
How do you feel about moving to NYC and trying to get your green card in general? If you value that stuff, by all means continue.
I just wonder if you are on shaky ground with your life plans. Seems you’ve had a few awkward exchanges recently with your GF, hence the posts. And we don’t really know how strong the foundation of your relationship is (how well she treats you, how long you have been together non-distance, your and her longer-term plans, etc). Moving to the US with her is a big step.
That being said, if you are trying to leave the Balkans for better opportunities, I understand. My dad is from one of those countries, and I visited once. After visiting, I understand why a young man such as yourself would want to try greener pastures.
Bozza 2 1w ago
Gotta read the sidebar.
It's not a unreasonable request, but the moment you have the verbalise it, you've already lost.
Anything beyond here she knows you're beta.
No secure man needs to do this.
No man would ever need to do this because she would be more scared of losing you...
They know.
Take it on the chin, move on.
Musicgoon78 3 1w ago
It's only a big deal if you make it one. Right now you are making it one. Drop this immediately or start turning into a guy she doesn't respect. It's your choice.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Rookie mistake to leave evidence around. Women snoop, too
Hugo_The_Great 1w ago
Hmm imo kinda lame to explicitly tell her to block exes; already makes you look insecure.
OTOH, I wasn't pleased when my last gf told me her ex started messaging her (clearly trying to interfere in our LTR), for the first time in over a year, after she posted a pic with me on her socials for the first time. And then I found out they apparently were still following eachother on social media despite having a 'bad breakup' and her calling him a manipulator. Then me finding out over the next 6 months that the shit she did was just as bad as him.
Looking back, they were just data points that indicated she still had things to resolve for herself. Which among other reasons was why I broke it off eventually.
Forcing her to do xyz and then checking if she did is a waste of time imo. Just know for yourself what is acceptable/unacceptable, communicate this clearly and if you find out she doesn't respect that downgrade her. Warning: you will downgrade almost all at one point.