Have you read the sidebar?

Lots of women (most?) start fights because they NEED drama and excitement.

Do not get pulled into their world. I have made this mistake before.

I once watched a video on how to train your parrot. Parrots bite. And they bite hard. It's just in their nature. A well trained parrot does not bite, and you can enjoy handling them and teaching them little tricks.

Many people start shouting at a parrot when it bites (and it will). And they start shouting at the parrot. Of course, the parrot doesn't understand what you are saying, it just hears loud noises and notices that you are animated. The parrot enjoys this animation and will start joining in, squarking and flying around. This is usally the highlight of their day...beacuse they spend 23 hours a day bored out of their minds in a cage.

You have inadvertantly rewarded your parrot for an undesired behaviour. This parrot not only enjoys biting you on its own, but you are signaling to him that you also enjoy it, by all the shouting and animation. How on earth is this parrot ever going to learn to not bite you?

The solution is simple. The second your parrot bites you, just silently pick it up and put it back in its cage, and put the cloth over the cage. Leave it for 23 hours.

Start again the next day. They learn quickly.

The same is obviously true with women. Never reward their undesired behaviours with fighting. They say never wrestle with a pig, because you will get dirty. The pig is already dirty and enjoys rolling in the mud.

Do I need to spell it out any clearer?

You know what to do.

A lot of girls seem to remember their more “toxic” exes way more vividly, the guys where there was tension, arguments, emotional spikes, etc. (They got alpha widowed)

Those guys are attractive and indifferent to her.

Forget that toxic shit, she's just bitter she got dumped.

Meanwhile, the stable, calm relationships where the guy was always composed don’t seem to leave the same imprint.

Lower attractiveness.

Is it actually better (from an attraction standpoint) to have occasional conflicts / tension with a woman, as long as you’re still in control?

Or is that just misinterpreting things, and the real answer is still to avoid fights completely and maintain frame at all times?

Tension: yes

Flights and conflict: no.

Fighting, raised voices, emotional arguments: absolutely not. This benefits her. It reduces her attraction to you. She will claim the victory even if she loses. It destroys trust and comfort, and it leads to court cases and jail time for you.

Here's how you have an argument with a woman:

You: "I am not happy that you said X, so I am now leaving".

Her: "How the fuck dare you!? I never said that! You said something else! This is all your fault!"

You: literal silence, say nothing, keep leaving.

Hey: "So that's it? You're just going to walk out? You're going to fucking leave?"?"?

You: no longer hearing, you have left.

Her on text: "If you don't answer me now it is over you fucking piece of shit"

You: nothing, no response nothing, zip, nada.

Her: more texts.

You, after 48 hours: "Let's grab breakfast"

Her: "Oh my god, you fucking asshole......"

You: ignore her for another 48 hours of this shit.

You, after another 48 hours: "Let's grab dinner".

At this point you either get "I'm sorry", or you block her permanently.

In future, count her down..... "You've got 10 seconds to take that back".

If she ever calls your bluff, you leave.

All the reasons that men do not do the above are the root causes of all problems that men have with women.

I let my women know right off the bat, I will walk out that door if they fuck up. Yes, I still have to train them, and when I make corrections, it's only once: "I'm sure that you'll never let this happen again" and that's the end of it. Knowing that you have one foot out the door at the start, and that it's up to them to make sure the second one don't follow is all the tension you really need.

You have something here but I am not sure it is only what the title suggests.

Having to work for it invests people more in attraction (this is scientific fact) and in that respect some fights in the early stages (while the desire is still fierce) may imprint a man harder on a woman but it has to be while the desire is fresh and the desire must be strong enough to overcome the negativity..

Women do tend to remember all the negatives strongly and when the heated rush is over, these memories will still be on the hard drive, so I would still advise that it is ideal if she has to work for it in non confrontational ways -like availability, like keeping you interested, trying to lock you down and so on.

It is also true that women will try harder for a guy they really want, who will know his value is above them and may be harder to get. An ordinary guy acting like this will just piss her off. Its important to see it from the right end of the telescope. Its not necessarily because its a great strategy for him, its because she can't let him go.

Because Chad can, doesn't mean you should (or Chad should either necessarily if he actually wants her as a mother to his children). I think this is something a lot of red pill men see form the wrong side. Can get away with and should ideally do are not the same thing.

But yeah, I still think there is something there with those caveats.

There’s an element of truth to what you think.

The way I think of it, women are usually bored and boring, right? Is a fight ever boring? No.

Women also crave emotional experiences, even more than men. Is a fight ever NOT emotional? No, they are always emotional.

So you stir emotions and un-bore women by fighting. But just like @First-light said, it’s only for when they are emotionally invested in you. And too much fighting makes a relationship toxic and not worth it, whether short or long term.

…

This reminds me of something I was thinking about. Conventional RP wisdom is to not show mate guarding behaviors or act jealous around your woman. And girls will occasionally do stuff to try to make you jealous as a shit test or to see how much you like them. So normally, we say don’t show your jealousy when they do stuff like that.

I’m listening to the audio book of The Art of Seduction, and there’s a theme of making someone less bored and giving a little but not too much of what someone wants hooks them to you.

This got me thinking. Let’s say you are normally presenting yourself as an ultra stoic gigachad alpha man, who shows no emotion when a girl tries this stuff. It might actually be that when you show you are jealous occasionally, you actually stir up more attraction in your woman. That is, you could PRETEND to be jealous every once in a while to make her like you more.

In theory, you get some of the best of both worlds: you are normally alpha and your woman will usually like that. But the occasional bout of faked jealousy will make her feel you desire her, and automatically pass some comfort tests, and make her feel like she worked really hard to see that jealousy, increasing her attraction to you.

By the same logic, you could also start a small fight over something small to stir the emotional pot to keep things exciting for her in the relationship. This would also show that she can’t do whatever she wants and keep you, again also increasing her attraction for you.

The key here would be to not actually get too stirred up in the “drama” that you cause or participate in. You want to be 90% stoic on the outside, and 100% stoic on the inside.

Well, this is all just a theory. If I get a chance to test this out on the field, I’ll write up a report here. If anyone reading this has experience with these strategies, I’d love to hear about it!