Context- i went to this party with my friend and his girlfriend and they were setting me up with one of her friends. I had briefly met her before and we both seemed to like eachother
When i first enter the party i say hi to her and she gives me a hug. I introduce myself to some other people there.
I get inside, me and my friend start drinking a bit, i talk to some more people and then i see that girl I've been set up with. I start dancing with her a bit, i maker her twirl (kino) to which she awkwardly does so and pulls a weird face. I don't think much of it and just ignore it. After that she walks away with some other people.
About 10 minutes pass and im talking with my friend and his girlfriend. She says i should go talk to her friend and jokingly (or at least i think she was joking) makes it seem urgent and i should go right now. I didn't want to follow her around the house and i had just got there, only knew like 2 people, and i wanted to get settled in first. And to be honest i was kinda nervous and didn't know what to say to her. I was planning to start gaming her after i was in the flow of things and was more comfortable in the party.
Some more time passes, i end up sharing a cigarette with a group of different girls, nothing special, just generally socialising. I talk to them for about 30 mins. I go back inside the house and the friends of the girl I've been set up with, come up to me and start going off on me “you're such a slag blah blah”. Basically the girl i had been set up with was mad i was taking to other girls and had obviously told her friends. I wasn’t even trying to get with them i was just going around talking to people. I walk away from them.
More time passes, i chill with my friend, then another couple of girls start going off on me saying the same bs. Something about me definitely not being invited to them next party but whatever.
For the rest of the night her whole friend group was pretty hostile to me. I try talking to her a bit every now and then but it didn't really turn into anything.
I was surprised she was so annoyed by that. Even before the whole drama she didn't really give me any IOIs. And she seemed kind of unapproachable and very much with her own circle. (Even before she got mad)
If you ask me, id say i should work on my conversational skills. Maybe if i had gone and spoke to her and have an actual convo with her from the start, the outcome would have been different. But like i said before i was nervous and didnt know what to say to her.
Honestly, pretty much every time i get with a girl i barely even talk to them. I get drunk, dance with them, escalate with kino, make out with them, and then its fairly easy to escalate from there.
Anyway i spent the rest of the night having my own fun, i didn’t get with anyone but i still had a good night.
What do you think i could have done better? I thought it would have been easy as it was already set up for me.
GeorgeIII 6h ago
OP, is your guy friend blue or red pill? And by that, I don’t mean is/isn’t on this forum. I mean from his actions and how he manages his relationship. Hint: if you aren’t sure, 90%+ chance he is.
Assuming he is BP, and he agreed with his girlfriend to introduce you, it means that your interests are likely not at heart, only this girl’s. If your guy friend is blue pill, his GF runs the show, and decided to introduce you.
A few possibilities…
Note that none of these possibilities take into account what you want. You are just “lucky” to be given the chance. That’s the mentality if your guy friend is blue pill. If this was set up to help you, you wouldn’t be getting complaints about “talking to other girls” when you haven’t spent more than 1 hour with this chick, let alone fucked her or started a relationship.
A guy friend actually helping you out here would sound more like, “Hey dude, that chick over there has been eyeing you up. Go talk to her.”
But anyway, without any context about how close you and your homie are, I think you should drop this clown social circle. Why should you have to not talk to other girls when you haven’t even kissed this chick? It sounds like she wasn’t even interested in you. This is controlling behavior, and again, you barely know this chick.
You did pretty well, did some kino, you got low interest, and went to talk to other girls. Game-wise, that’s very solid, and it’s totally normal to be nervous, plus you still kino’d and talked to her. It’s not your job to make someone who is a no, into a yes.
But this shit where she starts complaining about you behind your back and poisoning the well for you: it’s toxic. And it’s negative utility. Even if you were interested in this chick, she has demonstrated that she is not a solid person at all. Think about it: if you had a guy friend who talked shit behind your back and you knew about it, how long would this guy still be your friend?
No-Stress-Cat 1h ago
From what you described, it sound like she wanted you to follow her around so she could show you off to her friends, but you (naturally) didn't fall into her orbit. So, instead of falling into your orbit, she decides to start mouthing off about you to her friends. If she really was really interested in you as a possible partner, she would have hung out with you (and showed all the bitches around you that you're "taken"). She's not looking for a man. She's looking for a simp.
You didn't fumble. She did.