Had a big fight with 2 year LTR that ended with her threatening to pour water over me with a water bottle, I took that bottle from her and poured it out on her myself (I normally dont react much to this type of stuff but I was just trying to sleep). She went to her parents, originally intended to only be for 1-2 days. Ended up showing up announced at our place to pack her stuff and leave, and from the way she texts it seems like they are doing some kind of legal action against me (she avoids answering my texts, but didnt block me, I'm thinking a lawyer told her to do this)
Now rationally I know there's no coming back from this. I am in full fight mode rn, trying to get the money she still owes me for this months rent and gym membership. I already decided a couple weeks ago that while I enjoy my time with her, her mental issues are a dealbreaker for having children and eventually I would need to break up with her anyway. Overall (before the recent events) she's very loyal, puts up with a lot of my bs, still horny for me after 2 yrs, a good girl except the frequent fights from her mental issues that started in the past couple months. I made her go to therapy 4 months ago and have been trying to get her on psychiatric medication but she refused so far, and at this point I tried what I could to fix her. Part of me thinks this is a very good thing to happen to me.
Help me stay reasonable like this. I am already starting to rationalize reasons to get back with her when she inevitably comes back. To be fair to her, she likely only left me because she was afraid I will might her out (she's always extremely paranoid I will leave her). She is also easy to pressure by her parents, you wouldn't believe the amount of stupid shit she's done before just after 1 phone call with them, it always leaves her unhappy and telling me she regrets doing it. There is a high likelihood they are making her do this, I know with any normal woman it would be crazy to think this but I believe it.
Attempt to answer own Q: Obvious, dont contact her and lawyer up if needed
Vermillion-Rx Admin 13h ago
Stop being retarded
She has a fuck ton of mental problems, you made the mistake of cohabitating on top of it, and potentially committed some form of battery or low level offense (probably has little legal weight)
Stop rationalizing being in a relationshit
If her stuff is already out of the place change the locks. Stop trying to get the rent money and gym money and just be thankful she's out of your life
Why would you want all this hassle in your life. She is an unreliable basket case
Get the fuck out of having anything to do with her
throwaway49395295 13h ago
Thank you.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 13h ago
You're welcome
throwaway49395295 13h ago
Not gonna lie makes me angry knowing I have to pay for her part of our gym membership the next 4 months, on top of 600€ she already owes me. I also gifted her 300€ just a day before she did this shit (I made an easy 1000€ that day from dumb luck and figured it was a good time to show appreciation). No way I‘ll get that back. Not to mention the headache knowing she might pursue legal action against me, I didnt do anything but she’s crazy enough to tell her parents some exaggerated stories about me and them making her press charges. I have a strong gut feeling they already involved a lawyer.
Funny how I literally never gave away money to a girl before and the first time I do it I immediately get broken up with in the worst way.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 11h ago
My deadbeat ex housemate owes me $4,000 from when I lived with him and he had to stop working after something happened
I also paid our entire security deposit but the rental agency gave both of us half of it back instead of just me and he just pocketed it
I still have to see him around places. I'm never getting that money back because he's a deadbeat and almost never has money and pisses off all his employers. My only way to get it back would be to basically have a court take and sell his shit
Move the fuck on and don't make foolish financial decisions in the future.
Don't let a woman with mental problems this deep into your life and don't cohabitate unless you are married
The fact she isn't paying you back demonstrates bad faith so just use that if she brings you to court
Either way move on and don't cause women physical distress. Own it, that was fucking retarded
I can assure this is not the worst way. Stop dramaticizing this
throwaway49395295 4h ago
thank god she just called me (I initially told her to fuck off and let me talk to her dad instead but that was off the table), all of the money is on its way and they aren't considering legal action. Her parents are just forcing her to not reply and dont know that a block feature exists.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2h ago
Okay
At least her parents probably realize they have a failure of a daughter
Ghost her.
NO CONTACT
you reach out to the guys here if you're having a moment of weakness
Find better hoes and protect your peace now
throwaway49395295 27m ago
You're going to hate this, but I told her if she wants to get back together she needs to have zero contact with other men while we're separated, and go into psychiatric care. If it wasn't for her mental issues she would be good LTR, very loyal pretty looks and is rich. There is zero chance that actually happens though, at least not anytime soon. Will not contact her and focus on my own stuff for now, take a break for a few weeks and then start spinning plates
Musicgoon78 3 11h ago
Brother you gotta take the L. You got the beautiful gift of freedom!
Now I want to share with you and EVERYONE our there the most important thing I've learned in my 40+ years of life. Fixing other people's problems is not your responsibility.
Fuck this burden of performance bullshit. Fuck the alpha retarded trope. If you take on other's problems, congrats. You're a guy with a weak frame, a sucker and a pack mule. You might keep a relationship, but it will be a stressful one. You'll resent your girl and she'll resent you for being a weak pussy. This is a ticket to getting cucked and footing the bill for it.
This rule applies to relationships, friendships, and any sort of social interaction that you encounter. This is the center of masculine power. This isn't a performative stance that can crumble. This is inner strength. And this keeps you from robbing someone of their own personal journey.. everyone needs to have hardship and figure out their own shit. Don't rob them of that.
This girl was not aligned with who you are. It's a bad fit. Grieve it if you need to, but move on. Trying to get her back is like sticking your hand into a meat grinder. It will fuck you up badly!