I’ll echo what Mattyanon said: you were both over thinking every aspect of this interaction (girls pick up on this) as well as tried too hard to be gamey/mysterious over text(which girls definitely pick up on too). The goal is to make it FEEL like it just happened naturally, like she’s the one picking you up. She left her charger at yours, say you’ll drop it off on a night you know she’s free/alone, find a reason for her to invite YOU inside, and close from there.

I think what happened was you treated "going to her place" with the exact opposite emotional temperature than you should have. You made it seem like some big, momentous thing. With all your hinting, teasing about it. You should have done the exact opposite: make her feel that, if she brought you back to her place, it is no big deal. It doesn't even mean that you will definitely have sex.

You might be thinking several steps ahead and thinking about how to get this woman into bed. But in her mind, she must always maintain plausible deniability. Which means, each step, all the way until you actually put your penis into her vagina, she should always be able to think "I wasn't intending to have sex." that's why when it finally does, so many woman say "I don't know how, it just happened." (Note: this is not the same as forcing someone against their will. If she refuses at any stage, you back off).

Look at it from another POV: let's say you had your own place, and you wanted to invite a girl over to have sex. Would you tell her: "come over because I want to have sex"? No. You say "hey, it's really loud in here, and my place is close by. Come over and we can continue our conversation there. I have a bottle of wine I've been meaning to open and want to see what you think of it." She knows where this is going. She's not dumb. But she can always justify it in her mind as "I'm just going over to check out his wine."

In your specific situation, I would not have played up this huge mystery and suspense bullshit. It's a woman's role to be dramatic. Your role as a guy is have a "nothing phases me" energy. Looking at your texts, to me, they sound more unhinged red headed bipolar chick who's off her medications, than they do intriguing man of mystery. What is so important that you can't spit it out after several hours? And what do you mean by "Why are you doing this?" What did she do to you?

I'm not surprised that after going back and forth a little, and giving you multiple opportunities to speak your mind, she finally gives up, figures you're either too scared to say what's on your mind, or too mentally unstable to have a consistent thought, and either way, she wants no further part in it.

Here's my advice: First off, if at all possible, fix your logistics. Even if it's as simple as have an arrangement with your roommates that they find somewhere else to be for a few hours when you need the room. In college we all had roommates. And people even took to crude stuff like hanging socks on their doors to tell their roommates to not come inside. When I was in college, that happened to me sometimes, and you know what, I had no problem sitting in the lounge watching tv or doing my homework until my roommate came down and gave me the all clear. Because we were bros, and besides, he'd give me all the juicy details later :-)

If you really wanted to go to her place, and she's not inviting you, then you needed to make it as easy as possible for her to do so, by making it seem like it's no big deal, nothing different than stopping over at a friend's place. When guys walk a girl home and wait at the doorstep to see if she'll invite him in, they don't say "I need to tell you something later". They say stuff like, "your place seems nice" and the woman doesn't say "come inside so we can have sex". They say, "you wanna come up and get a glass of water before you head home?"

You should be doing the same thing. If you want to be more forward and push things faster, ask her about her place during a normal talk (like maybe during lunch, or breaks in class), and note some details. Maybe she mentions some flowers she's planted. Or a new painting she just hung on her wall. Then, when a time comes to hang out say, "my roommates are at home. Let's go to your place instead. You can show me that painting you really like. I need to know if your taste in artists is good or total shit ;-)" Make it seem like it's no big deal to bring you over. And then escalate from there.

Bottomline: whatever it is that you planned to tell her, you imbued it with way too much drama, when you should have been trying to make it as casual and non-dramatic as possible. And women do not want drama from a man. That's their role.

My plan was to tell her "I want to come and see you at your apartment." after my last message (You know what?)

You are doing autism-mode level of manipulative texts, and you suck at it, and you're trying to preplan shit that you can't control.

Don't discuss this stuff over text, it doesn't work for you.

I feel a bit pained though, because I wanted to bang her, and she seemed into me

Women pretend to be interested to play for time while they make up their mind and test for genuine attraction.

It's what they do, get used to it.

Next.

First off, you didn’t manage to isolate her due to poor logistics. Since everyone in your lodge knows each other, escalating is very difficult. It’s not like 2 people drunk in a bar with strangers.

Second, your “escalation” was probably bad. In your description, I see a lot about talking and texting, but nothing about your kino. Honestly, this reminds me of when I tried to escalate as an 18 year old. Which didn’t go well. Less talking, more doing. Girls talk, men do.

Third, the way you talked + texted pretty much killed all plausible deniability. And if you did actually ask to go to her place, you would’ve been rejected anyway. You put a lot of pressure on her, without teasing her or flirting with her. Which is not fun at all, from the woman’s PoV. Classic dude approach lol.

A better way this could’ve turned out:

• You have her in the lodge when no one is else is there, and you know no one is coming home for a few hours.
• Instead of talking serious with her, you make verbal play with her, tease her, and be fun.
• You also throw some kino in. Light at first, like guiding her to her seat via touch, or reading her palm. If she is receptive gradually escalate the kino WITHOUT being verbally overt in your intention. If you are smooth, she will figure it out and warm up gradually. No “There’s something I want to tell you.”
• Hopefully you reach the point of making out. At this point she is turned on, and you can just finish the escalation + lay in your lodge. If you do ask to go to her place now, you might interrupt the flow, but you at least have a chance.

TLDR: fix your logistics, and fix your escalation/kino/seduction. These 2 things combined made it impossible for her to feel DTF. And you MUST isolate. None of this, “we were there with my roommate” shit.