28M virgin, 178 cm . Finally started getting dates but unable to move beyond first.
I used to be a huge lurker back in 2019-20 on original Redpill subreddit. And learned some. Read the rational male , book of pook, sidebar numerous times and had been trying to approach women but over 7 years I got 0 dates. I am kinda average looking , slim And of avg height (178 cm). I tried bulking up but I got injury which put me out for a solid 3 years.
Right now, I am 28M virgin, Since I wasn't getting dates irl so, got good photos and downloaded hinge. Got 80 matches of which Managed to score 3 dates. All 3 unmatched after first date and didn't pursue for a 2nd one. Somehow hinge matched me with everyone who's looking for something serious . I don't know if we didn't connect or they didn't find me attractive enough. I tried doing "game", maintained a playful smile with intense eye contact, flirting constantly. I asked them about themselves, made sure to keep the conversation to themselves. Each one of them asked "How many more girls are you seeing", which to me sounded like it's going good as they don't ask this, unless they're attracted. I also maintained high energy, agreed and amplified (like they asked why did you choose this place away from your home , I just said I put on the big map of rhe city blindfolded myself and see where it landed. ( It was just close to her place)
But at the same time, they rejected physical touch, and would not dance when I asked. They also didn't compliment me at all, which sounds like again they weren't attracted to me.
This looks like a constant pattern, I am able to get first dates but no escalations beyond that. I have not able to meet anyone without apps in the past 7 years, approaching hasnt worked and I am not sure how to proceed as a virgin at almost 30. Please help me out.
TLDR (through gpt):
28M, average-looking, virgin. Spent years consuming Redpill content and trying to approach women IRL with no success. Recently switched to Hinge, got ~80 matches and 3 first dates, but all ended after the first meet.
On dates, used playful “game,” high energy, teasing, and focused conversation on them. They asked if he was seeing other girls (seemed like interest), but rejected physical escalation and didn’t show strong attraction signals.
Pattern: can get first dates via apps, but no second dates or physical progression. Unsure whether it’s lack of attraction, connection, or approach. Looking for direction on what to change
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 3h ago
I'm betting you mean "skinny-fat". Work on that.
That's about 5' 10" in freedom units.
1) That's above average.
2) height isn't the end-all, be-all that many inexperienced dudes think. It can make things easier or more difficult for sure, but I've known short dudes who slay and tall dudes who can't get laid.
If your doctor has cleared you to lift again, get back into lifting. You don't necessarily have to bulk; embrace your natural build and just don't be soft. I've talked about this before many times on the trp.red side of the site:
https://www.trp.red/feed/status/154641
https://www.trp.red/feed/status/147992
https://www.trp.red/feed/status/155373
https://www.trp.red/feed/status/143355
Are you using AI enhanced photos? Or doctored in any way?
If so, then they're rightfully going to feel deceived and want nothing to do with you.
If the photos are not enhanced in any way, then something in your behavior is putting them off.
Musicgoon78 3 28m ago
Three separate dates is not enough to notice a pattern. Keep going.
When going out on dates are you doing something that you want to do that you find fun? If it's a bland place your date will be bland. Your focus should not be on Game. Your focus should be on fun. It's not counterintuitive but absolute truth. The more game focused you are, the more robotic you will look. That's a fail.
Next is your mindset. I come out of the gate fast and sexual right away. Not creepy, but comfortable with sex and talking about it. If women ask you questions or lean in curiously when you talk about sex, you've got them hooked. The last thing to do is escalate.
Keep practicing. The first couple dates you get are usual going to fall flat. They are feedback. My first few dates after my divorce weren't good. But I wasn't used to dating or escalating. After some practice, you'll hone your skills.