I had a similar thing (ish) I won't go through my entire life story. But I was a loser and one day I decided I was going to change my life. So I started hitting the gym and just grinded it out.

Honestly this comes down to a matter of will. Picture your end goal. How much do you want that end goal? If you want it badly enough, you will get there. If you don't want it, you won't ever get there. No-one is going to hold your hand and if you make excuses, then the only person you let down is yourself.

First things first. Get yo shit together. Wake up at 8am. Tidy your bedroom/house. Get a routine. Sounds stupid, but just the mere simple step of having a routine and doing something productive each day will dramatically improve your mindset.

Start off with the gym. That's something you can begin doing immediately. There's no point even bothering with dating until you're in good shape (IMO). Start lifting weights and dieting. Get your 10k steps in per day. You'll start building some self confidence through routine, discipline and seeing the results.

Second is a job. A job gives you a sense of purpose and standing in life. You've put in the work in terms of education, now is the time to reap the rewards. Once you've got that money rolling in, you can start to enjoy the fruits of your own labour. You can start working towards moving out.

YouTube sounds like a good idea. Having a hobby is good. If you like researching and creating YouTube videos on history, go do it. Again, it gives you a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

If you put the effort in, you could easily get yourself in decent shape by August/September. But it require hard work and dedication.

Having a purpose, a burning passion is the most important source of internal validation. Become a master in something, anything. Just releasing something into the world helps more than you think. A piece of music, a research paper, a solution to a local community, or even familial issue.

Amazing that you could find a local community for porn addiction. I've struggled with it myself for many years, since I was around 11 also. Worst part is I didn't realise it was harmful at all until my mid-20's. Wish you the best.

Is there anyone with similar experience who overcame that?

It has happened a lot, lots of people can overcome it.... but this isn't my story, so I can't relate personally.

How did you guys get centered and look for internal validation?

By focusing on what I want and what I care about and learning to ignore the noise (ie other people's opinions)

I lost my confidence and everything. I would appreciate some pointers in setting up a realistic plan to so I'm on the right track. I even forgot how to flirt. I used to be good. My focus for this year is by 31 December 2026:

Well I wouldn't set arbitrary dates, but sure.

Here's a rough plan:

Work out what you can realistically do with reasonable effort.

Then do that.

If it works then great, do more.

If it doesn't work then work out what you did right, what went wrong, and try again.

Always always always try again

Decent Physique (15% Bodyfat with more muscle definition)

15% is kinda average if you want girls, aim for 12.

Get more lays, I'm at 0. I just want to get more and by end of year possibly reach 60.

60 doesn't make sense. Even with a hot body and good social skills, that's a lot of work.

End goal is reach 100 so i can convince myself that I can do it

This is seeking external validation.

You are focusing on proving something to yourself that just doesn't need proving.

Having a great sex life is awesome. Forget the numbers, try to see past the insecurity, and stop proving anything to anyone, including yourself.

Aim for a great sex life.

and then decide if getting an ltr is worth it

It probably isn't

cause I want to have kids at some point.

fair enough

( I have really good face genetics so with losing weight I get a lot of looks, my friends called me dicaprio but I'm really scared of women like I look away or walk away.)

Get a job to support myself

Honestly this should be priorities 1,2 and 3.

Gym + work, that should be everything until you have a good job.

I have this need that I want to be famous,

more external validation

I was thinking of starting a history youtube channel because I love fckin history cause 90% of it is fake.

why haven't you done it yet?

Yes do not get vaccinated.

why not?

Or want to Get into comedy and sell out like everyone. I want your honest and raw opinion because I want to learn how to be an adult and stop being a snowflake. I'm currently in european country for a week, staying at a friend. Then I'm going back to my home country where I'm staying for months so I can get back to my routine. I can try some small things this week like giving women compliments in order to get over fear of approaching

Do that.

Exercise more.

Eat less and better.

https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/snowballing.51699 (My trick is to usually look at women and guess what they study or work and joke around but I get nowhere other than just having fun)

Having fun is great.... but you need to be escalating physically for things to happen.

It's long because I want you to know where I'm at and what are my weaknesses. Discipline isn't my issue, I just don't know where to put my eggs in which basket as I keep switching priorities.

Right.

Make 3 priorities, stick them on the wall, put all your efforts into that

1. Job
2. Gym
3. Job.

Job is the most important. Don't set goals for # of lays you want just try to improve your sex life in a general way. What I did was make a vow to myself no more porn until I could sleep with a real girl and no more video games until I met my fitness goals. And work on your social circle as much as possible. They might lead to better opportunities for meeting a girl, directly and indirectly through others, more than cold approaches. Go out as much as possible and make small talk with everyone you come across.