So I was at a bar and I was talking to this girl. She said I’m ugly. Although I didn’t actually believe I’m ugly just because she said it, I insulted back by telling her she looked like a type of food (don’t want to specify because I told my attorney and everything).
Anyway, she told the bouncer and he told me I had to leave. I asked why and he forced me out and then when I was outside he grabbed me and slammed my face on the ground. My nose is broken, I have chips in some teeth and I have cuts on my face.
I called the police and filed a report and found an attorney that has taken my case.
However, I feel like shit because it could’ve been avoided by me not engaging with the girl’s comment. Thinking back on it, I don’t think the bouncer really gave me any reasonable chance to even exist on the public sidewalk before slamming me but I feel ashamed because I shouldn’t have thought I could reason with a bouncer.
I do still think the bouncer was out of line and he took it farther than my actions necessitated, but I just feel disgusting now due to the chipped teeth and broken nose. I’m getting these fixed but still. It’s like part of me is gone, even if they do full in the chips with resin.
How can I move forward and not have these situations happen to me? I think I just need to accept that sometimes you’ll get kicked out even if it’s for a dumb reason but I feel so stupid for letting this happen to myself. Will I ever feel better?
Has anything like this ever happened to any of you guys?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 12h ago
Write off miserable bitches and faggots and go about your day so that they look like the villain instead . Why interact with them for another second they have nothing of value to add to your existence
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First-light 2 10h ago
I think most of us have had incidents that are similar where a situation escalates suddenly physically, beyond what we consider the rules of engagement. Since we were playing by the rules, we didn't see the escalation coming till it was too late. The escalator is aways a bully who enjoys it and who has the experience to know what they can get away with. One is left feeling violated because it was both physical and the escalation was unfair.
I hasn't happened to me for decades because on the very odd occasion when it has threatened, I have seen it coming in time. Part of getting better from this experience is taking it as experience of the world and taking steps to make sure it doesn't happen again. Avoid situations that give license to people with small dicks to get suddenly violent. White knighting is probably the number 1 good excuse for dicks to white knight. Create physical space in tense situations and use body language that is confident and yet also open and friendly -strong, alert but not aggressive.
Pursue the prick who did this but don't take it too far or you become a victim of your own injury. If its costing too much, look after yourself and let it go.
I recently had a situation where the state hit me unfairly -I basically got swatted by some fool with a phone who I do not believe knew me at all. I was arrested at gun point by a large team of specialist armed police -7 cars including a dog unit that had travelled through 2 large cities to get to me- handcuffed and searched in the middle of a major road that they had shut down just to take me out. Having searched my truck and found no trace of what they were seeking (nor have I ever done what they had arrested me for), they released me with a "sorry for the trouble, this was a good training exercise for my men, I warned them you might be innocent". I felt very violated. Without going into detail, I had been totally minding my own business. Citizens should not be taken down like that on an whisper from a complainant who will never face consequences. Perhaps a visit from a friendly policeman might have been a better way to check out the call? But the police were not going to escalate my complaint. I got stone wall replies from their lawyers when I would have been happy with a chat with a senior officer asking to have their polices of engagement changed. I looked at what levers I could use -lawyers, the media- and in the end just thought "This is going to be so much hassle to see through, just let the bastards win and get on with your life." I hope you don't have to say that in this case but be aware that we all have to draw a line somewhere.
cdclopper 7h ago
I would just forget about it.
SeasonedRP 2 6h ago
You handled it like most people would. You didn't do anything wrong. Next time, just don't engage, either with the girl or bouncer-just leave.
Don't worry, you'll have your revenge on this guy. He'll lose his job, be unemployable by any credible establishment with liability insurance, may well get criminal.charges, and if you are in the U.S., you'll get some money out of this. The bouncer field tends to attract goons who think the job is a license to assault people. Then they learn otherwise the hard way.
Go to this clown's deposition and smirk at him while your attorney grills and embarrasses him.
No-Stress-Cat 4h ago
This exactly. A man tells you to get out of his house, you don't ask why, you just go.
Wintergreen 2h ago
Thanks man, this means a lot.
qzone 1h ago
“It’s like part of me is gone, even if they do full in the chips with resin.”
I can relate to this personally. My situation is sort of hard to describe but when I was squatting at the gym, I chipped my front middle tooth in a very noticeable way. I felt as you do about it, that some part of my wholeness or something was lost, but at the end of the day it’s just enamel and dentin that we are fortunate modern dentistry can easily replace. In a month or two after them being fixed you’ll never think about it.
For perspective, most celebrities eventually have their teeth pulled and totally replaced with veneers to where you see no amount of their actual teeth at all. Instead, you see something far visually superior. I know it sucks but don’t think into it all too much. it just sucks for now while your teeth are fucked up. Just get your teeth fixed, get your bag off this bouncer asshole, and move on with your life. Oh and don’t mouth off or reason with dumb people.