What really bothers me is that I know my potential. I was once in incredible shape—mentally, physically, and spiritually strong; resilient and disciplined. I think this goes deeper than women. I want that man back. I need to work on this.

You already know what you need to do. Do it.

Of course you should get back on your path in terms of exercise/personal development. That may help with this level of shame you feel toward yourself and approaching at the moment due to where you are at with all of that. I relate wholeheartedly with this sentiment. If I haven't been lifting, if my mental hygiene is shit, if I have been a little bitch as of late, I am not going to approach. Even if most young attractive women do not put in a fraction of the effort in development that I know I do and I am assuming you do, unfortunately, first modern dating for men is feast or famine and second men must become and women just are. We can't afford to show up our undisciplined fat lazy selves. But even further than all of that, some part of me feels as though I have not earned it. Further, why would any attractive woman want to be approached by a fat lazy unmotivated dude with terrible mental hygiene? I have earned hooking up with a lazy entitled hot girl with a shitty personality when I have been fucking off for months playing video games and jacking off, but upon approach you have little idea whether the girl is the latter or if it is a girl that has an equal level of discipline, resilience, and work ethic. Is she going to entertain you/stick around if you are not where you need to be mentally, physically, and spiritually? If you are not resilient and disciplined? Even if she did, wouldn't the man that does not maintain those qualities just ruin the relationship? Could a man that does not maintain those qualities maintain a relationship with a quality woman over time? Let me know if I am off base with my analysis here.

I have another thought on your post. Of the tetrahedron of frame in Praxeology Volume 1: Frame, Rian Stone writes:

"The emotional pillar is where you become your own priest, your own psychiatrist, your own mental point of origin. You’ve built your physical pillar which makes this easier. Your hormones keep you level. You’ve built your intellectual pillar so now you can process whats happening in the world and act accordingly. Now you develop your emotional pillar, the most difficult pillar. You are learning to unlearn what you’ve always done by instinct. You are evolved to consume simple carbs, but you can learn to go on a diet. You are evolved to crack open the skull of anyone who threatens you, but you can learn to have a more controlled (and legal!) response. The key mental models you will learn in this section revolve around nice guy behaviors, assertiveness, covert contracts, and other instincts that sabotage your frame. By understanding how the failed parenting strategies of your parents’ generation caused you to process the world, you are able to stop making bad decisions driven by emotion and start making them as deliberate choices. You’re able to both understand why you’re having the emotions you’re having, and what you can do about them for better outcomes in your life. The emotional pillar is the final pillar for a reason. Most men believe that they can somehow change how they think which will enable them to change how they act. It works in reverse. We change how we act and it changes how we think. Asking a neurotic and sexually insecure man to approach women with confidence, or to stand up to his wife, is too ask of him the impossible as he can’t imagine a world where he doesn’t feel anxiety when standing up for himself. He needs testosterone to turn his 10/10 panic into a 2/10 panic. He needs an intellectual base to comprehend why all of his panic is misplaced. And he needs his emotional base to understand why the panic exists and what he can do about it."

Other than Rian's thoughts on the relationship between thoughts and behaviors contradicting fundamental cognitive theory, it seems as though your question's answer may fundamentally lie in the emotional pillar of frame. Either now for your mojo or later for when you find a chick, this is worth considering.

You should approach because you are a man with a dick that likes attractive women and also fucking their pussies, and maybe if the stars align, you find a really cool chick that has the right qualities to go the long haul with. If you are not approaching for that reason now, then why are you approaching? If you are not approaching chicks that you find attractive, then are you not, as a man, wanting to talk to attractive women?

. I want that man back. I need to work on this.

then do that.

Leveled up, cracked the code, but sex and novelty becomes unfulfilling after a while.

I'm at the same spot I think. Getting girls is easy, but finding one worth investing in? Good luck, women are so broken and brainwashed in 2025 it's very hard to find wife material.

What sucks more is how long it takes to get past their fakeness and see the real person inside. Too often, they end up being a disappointment.

I dunno man, it's rough. Best plan I can come up with if you indeed feeling the same way is the basic rp stuff.

Spin plates, get a few in your pocket and get to know them. Maybe one will turn out to be one you want to stick with.

Once you get that point where they spill their purse, do some probing and shit tests.

That's my plan anyway. Very hard to find marriageable material out there but there must be some. And don't forget that they are very malleable. I think if 80% is there the other 20% isn't very hard to fix. Depending on it's nature right. Like if it is some dumb shit that she got from the media or college or w/e, you can pretty easily deprogram her if you maintain frame in most cases.

It sounds like you at some point attached your self worth to your disciplined mind and sculpted body. Now you do not have either but you are still able to approach women with the social skills you built in the past. But why would they sleep with you if you're not ripped?

Did you get ripped in the first place purely to attract women? Do you believe deep in that subconscious that women only go for muscular and ripped guys?

Regardless "You don’t become confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror, but by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are. Outwork your self-doubt" - Alex Hormozi