This is something I've been thinking about/observing for a while, and I am looking for other people's perspectives/experiences.
It seems to me that some girls are different type of sluts. (Or maybe I'm just rationalizing)
Some are sluts out of insecurity - usually the ones with anxious attachment style, they are looking for love/affection and emotional connection but are inevitably drawn to avoidant types who turn out to be the wrong choice. These girls look for emotional connection, are very pleasing-oriented with a fear of abandonment, which leads to being unable to set firm boundaries, and will use sex to get men interested. They girls can be very loyal/affectionate inside a relationship with an aloof man who didn't boot them after a single night of fun.
Then there are also the 'psychologically healthy' women who are securely attached but who prioritize fun over everything else. I've heard this being referred to as 'down-for-anything' type of girls. These girls are playing the game too, so to speak. If you look good, are fun, run a little game on them & escalate, they will go home with you. These are girls who experiment for the sake of experimenting. Have multiple simultaneous FWBs. And, I can only imagine, have a hard time staying loyal or even getting into an LTR.
Now the lines between these are blurred somewhat and that's confusing to me. Perhaps they are all psychologically rotten. And on some level, they all want to have fun. Which leaves the question, which is which, and; does it even matter?
My personal problem is I just can't respect sluts. They can be fun, especially to fuck. But to build a life with one and start a family? I can't respect someone who doesn't respect themselves. Who puts themselves at repeated risk of STDs/violence/abuse and more often than not bad sex just for a teeny bit of fun/validation/attention. The thing is - pretty much every urban woman is a slut nowadays, depending on your definition.
I'd like a family and kids, but these women just give me a sinking feeling in my gut the moment I start getting feelings for them. And I know it's not rational per se, although the feeling probably originates from some ancient evolutionary programming. I'd never LTR a girl who I'd think isn't 100% committed to me, but the thought of her having slooted around before me just makes me want to eject immediately, and I've come to the conclusion that managing said stress is just not worth it...
Jackmoter 1d ago
Itisw1tten had a great post on sluts which you might find informative. :
"I personally only prefer to date or OLTR sluts. The overall reasoning is that sluts fit a number of things I am looking for: sexual willingness, actual experience in the SMP (as opposed to a virgin or clueless rookie who might wander later in search of missed experiences), and they're generally more fun to be around.
HOWEVER, I only look for a specific kind of slut, and I will outline the 3 types.
Fucks outside the Relationship Zone. These are girls who either think they are god's gift to the earth, or are delusional about their real RMV/SMV. They slut it up because they are trying to lock down guys outside their league, who are happy to fuck them but get strangely distant when they force The Talk. No-go zone.
The Void Fucker. These girls have avoidant personalities, parental issues, or are simply unable to remain stable long enough to create or keep a man. They fuck to fill some hole (haha) in their life. This is a broad category, but the outcome is the same - they are loose and easy because the pair bonding mechanism is fucked up or not attainable for them. Worse than (1) in terms of their self esteem/life results, but sometimes better than (1) for a plate.
Hugo_The_Great 20h ago
Wish he was still around
I think #1 is every slut at some point... Only question is how long it takes them to figure out that those guys are really not ever going to commit.
3 is a woman I want to plate. Just to observe how they think for a while. Because I think they are really just #2 but better at hiding it. I just have a hard time to believe that any mentally healthy woman who would come across her 'ideal' match would pass that up. She'd probably be pretty much a man inside a woman's body.
mattyanon Admin 1d ago
No
Everything else is just waffle.
SwarmShawarma 3d ago
Beat I got for you.
Make kids on holidays take contact like fb or insta and vanish. Unless you want to raise kids. So many Black dudes can't be wrong.
Demand dowry. Demand it all, then get married, but even better don't if you can make it legally binding otherwise.
We have had this problems before, we have had solutions for it before. Solutions got bastardised, probably because control upon women was pretty solid and next generations relaxed the rules (self concessions) and then it all got progressively worse.
Ideally take everything she would get in inheritance if she is treating you well. Since it is unlikely, while you wait just go away and spray the load. If you don't believe in anything good.
if I could turn back time, I'd do spray thing a lot, instead of once to a married woman that planned to get my seed and raise it far away.
Musicgoon78 3 2d ago
You're trying to categorize women. That's distilled autism right there. Every woman has her own perspective on sex. Women have an easier time getting sex. They usually have more sex than guys, you'll have to get over it or stay single.
Staying single is a good thing. It's beneficial to you without risk.
Not every girl has a STD. You can either live in reality and stop looking for an LTR or simply become a paranoid coward and let this ruin your dating life.
Go out and have fun. Accept women for who they are and how they treat you. Otherwise you're going to spin yourself out about her past.
Hugo_The_Great 2d ago
Trying to get over it.
To accept women for the biological creatures they are. Focusing on how they treat me now and the chemistry we have vs. what they did in the past.
But it's a fixation and just can't seem to get to a point where I can commit 100% no matter how much I like everything else about a girl. Constant doubt lingering in the back of my mind and looking for ways to get past it. Pretty much already tried every rationalization and coping mechanism others have suggested elsewhere.
Durek_The_Bald 2d ago
You need to fuck more before considering something serious. It's always a dead giveaway when a guy harbours resentment about "sluts", spends time and effort psychoanalysing them, and making it a point not to "respect them". It's because the guy feels left out.
Nobody wants to be the guy who commits to the town bicycle. We all get it, it's embarrassing. And we all like to think we've at least been around the block more than the chick we're in an LTR with.
So if you've got a notch count of, say, 5, you're going to have a problem with most women. Them being obviously more experienced than you is going to grind on your ego. But if you've got a notch count of, say, 30, then 10 may not sound like that much to you.
This is part of the reason why TRP generally advocates getting laid. Because it helps you get out of the mindset of "everyone's a degenerate" (which usually translates into "I'm left out"), and gives you a bit more wiggle room, so to speak. You don't want to be 35, and have every chick out there be more experienced than you.
Mountainman 1d ago
10 is nothing. Women on average start fucking at 15. Even 2 per year at 22 is pretty impressive if a woman is attractive. You have to understand that women are bombarded by 100s if not 1000s of men a year
Hugo_The_Great 2d ago
Completely agree btw and also why I ended my last LTR.
The way she talked so carelessly about previous sexual experiences just set of nukes in my mind. How she found it empowering despite being P&D by multiple guys/when she tried to gain commitment was just a joke to me.
Sex is still somehow special to me and I pedestalize low bodycount.
Just despise it that if you care about these things in this world, or other things, you end up eating shit for it. So yes, I label it as degeneracy and the only way out seems to be to become a degenerate myself.
One other problem I am noticing now is that having tasted love and devotion from attractive/cool women, my standards have skyrocketed meaning I don't find even above average women attractive/fun anymore and doing the whole game spiel just feels so tedious/empty if it's a one time thing, especially if I'm only lukewarm about them...