I spent a lot of time in isolation. That doesn't mean I don't care about my appearance, but the facade of giving a fuck about what anyone thinks of you slowly slips away when you do this. You stop getting involved in the pettiness of life, and of the ego.

Everyone wants (and to some extent needs) external validation and approval. It's just a question of to what degree. I don't compromise my self for validation and approval. But at the same time, it is a motivation factor for a great many things one wants to do, or to be seen as.

A lot of Red Pill concepts are merely ideals; Something to reach towards which will do you good if you move in that direction. But at the same time, beating yourself up over normal, human needs and wants is pointless.

The fact that you asking this question indicates that you are on the right path. Good on you.

Overcoming external validation is basically a rite of passage for young men. the sooner you achieve it, the better off you will be.

I would suggest the following;

be realistic about how much you can live without external validation. Think of the great men, study them, read about them. Pick your own heros. For me, there are many, and they might seem contradictory - men like Albert Einstein, Ghandi, Winston Churchill, many philosophers, composers and artists.

They all had a purpose, a mission. But no man is an island. They all did get external validation. Churchill didn't write those speeches for his own amusement - he wrote them to stimulate a nation to resist the facsists.

Men need the company and validation of other men. They cannot exist in a vacum. It is right and proper than men lean on each other, support each other and socialise together.

I an not sure its too binary. We all appreciate a bit of external validation. Its good for us. Its when "appreciate" turns to "dependent on" that there is a problem. So you don't need to overcome it so much as see it in perspective.

Get comfy with what you actually like in life and who you are. Be fully aware of your abilities and failings and accept them. Don't measure yourself or your hopes by what you think you should like to be a successful validated man but by who you are and what you actually like. What do you want to become good at to please yourself? Start achieving those things. This will help with inner validation and that will fill some of the validation hole that one will otherwise seek to fill with external validation.

Get with people who like those things and as you succeed they will give you some validation that is healthy because it is genuinely earned. Don't just live in a sub culture but have some likeminded contacts.

See that we all end up dead. Appreciate the good things about being alive.

Study the wisdom of the greatest thinkers and authors they help put life in perspective but in the end no guru. no god, no hero can replace yourself being yourself authentically.

Outcome independence, the attitude of not giving a fuck, self esteem, self mastery, these are all useful things to have that are better than relying on external validation. But the context is very important!

The validation dynamics are ueful to understand, because It is something people still give, receive and expect whether you are playing the game or not, good for you for learning how to validate yourself . I think the only way it should matter to an extent is professionally and as a tool, be aware that not all validation comes from words but from actions. If I'm employee of the month at McDonald's I'll feel great, If I get a raise and a congratulation at the office then thank you very much. My hot dog stand is selling a ton every day, that means success but I'd like a good review by the local foodie magazine too. You wanna be validated there, and you want others to see you get validated, kind of like a competitive thing, i'd use it like that instead , fuck the ego boost. It is a game that is around, and a tool to be used for my benefit.

But with sex and game, who gives a fuck really? Getting rejected 10 times and still feeling horny and sexy afterwards is the best you can do. I'd appreciate a compliment here and there sure, but I wouldn't count on it. Getting my dick wet, being chosen over the other guys, getting what I want,having my way. those things are validating enough, and all are based of my own merits.

If you want a practical tip - meditate and learn to process your emotions/sit with them.

In my opinion, the majority of need for external validation comes from inability to cope with whatever negative feeling arises (loneliness, sadness, fear, etc.)

As you learn to do that, the need for external validation will automatically subside.

The only validation you need is from yourself. The trick is to do your own thing and don't give a shit about what others think. When you do your own thing, fuck everybody else, the validation from others will come naturally. The guys will think you're cool. The girls will think you're hot. Things will come to you more easily. Just keep doing your own thing and let the chips fall where they may.

those of you that overcame the need for external validation and approval, how did you do it and what are some tips you can give?

Look dude I have told you about 3-4 times now to answer your own question in AskTRP, even if you might not know it

You will lose your AskTRP privileges for a while if you do this on any other AskTRP posts here