Background:
I am a 20 year old college student who has been following TRP for over half a decade now. Although I haven't always been actively applying the concepts, TRP has helped me navigate my surroundings and progress my life. My backstory is relatively common: awkward nerdy kid growing up, eventually because more interested in girls, lots of rejections, etc. Eventually, I started seeing some levels of success, because I am relatively tall and good looking, and I learnt how to speak properly. I will admit that I do not have everything in my personal life sorted, for example I rarely go to the gym.
Body:
As I previously stated, I have been reading about RP concepts for years. What I noticed is that lots of material here, while it sounds aggressive or impactful, proves to be rather empty. In essence, common advice with a red wrapping. Now, with that being said, there is also so much treasure on this subreddit. Time and time again, the world around me acts exactly as TRP would predict. In particular, I have literally seen the perfect examples of AF/BB amongst some of my closest friends. In short, one of my best friends was getting cheated on for over two years. He was boring, the other guy a typical bad boy.
For this reason, I try to always process what I read on TRP, and as has previously been stated, TRP serves as an immensely powerful tool to interpret the world. For this reason, I would like to pose some questions regarding my personal LTR.
I met this girl through a mutual friend a while ago. Pretty, reserved, honest (as far as I can tell), and so on. Our sex is great, and I do enjoy spending time with her. Contrary to the typical RP advice, I do not flirt with other women, or spin plates. My degree (engineering) is just too time demanding, and things with her seem to be going too smoothly. I have met her family, they all seem reasonable, she can cook, and in general, she just provides value to my life.
Anyways, here come the problems: she has a slightly messy past, with a couple abusive short term relationships. Some gym rat who would throw things at her. She is 22, and I believe her body count is around 8. For context, mine is 1. Secondly, she goes out clubbing without me, and on vacations with her (female also in LTRs) friends.
Now, I know all this and she tells me, and I think I am okay with this. My idea is that my hot as fuck girlfriend will get approached everywhere, and so there is no point to hide her. Besides, why would I want to be in a relation with someone whom I have to keep indoors? Furthermore, I am impulsive and in my head, I always have one foot out the door. If I ever catch wind of her cheating/flirting or whatever, I would be out in an instant. I have her passwords, and I could go through her stuff whenever I'd want. I am also positive that if she ever did cheat on me, even if I wouldn't know, I would be able to pick up enough behavioral differences to tell and dump her.
Conclusion:
For all these reasons, I am asking for some feedback. More particularly, I am interested in tools to ensure I remain sharp, with one foot out the door. As for the clubbing, I am interested in hearing the voices and opinions of other "moderates". Basically, I want to learn how to monitor my LTR's trajectory, so that if she goes astray, I can know as soon as possible.
Thanks you. Sorry for the slightly peculiar story flow.
mattyanon Admin 1d ago
God... fucking EVERY GIRL has "abused past". Like they can't say hello to a guy without it ending in abuse.
Here's the thing...... if she's had abusive relationships she either enjoyed them or has very very low self esteem. Or she has the "blame guys for everything" thing going on. Like she had casual sex, but later reframes it as abuve.
ALL of these options make her a terrible choice for a partner.
Plus all the ones that "don't count".
Look... she'll start to misbehave sooner or later. And then you'll be another of her "abusive exes". Ask me how I know.
Best plan is to keep in the habit of being attractive, and work on finding more and better options. You'll need them sooner or later.
StomachStent 1d ago
Lol Emoji
First-light 1d ago
Moderation works when dealing with other moderates. Its a disaster when dealing with hardliners as they just take advantage of you. If all is going well, then its not broken, so don't fix it. The red pill is a world view, its not primarily about dating and won't help hugely with a normal relationship between sensible people. It can help with understanding problems and sometimes helps solve them. Try to make it into a secret formula for dealing with ordinary women and its not that helpful. Use it to get into sluts pants fast, its more useful (because you are using the nature of women to push fucked up women's buttons to make them more fucked up in a way they like) but why would a sane man make that his main aim??
How moderate is she? Does she compromise well, does she argue grown up? If so, its all positive, just monitor. Problems are most likely to happen in a well balanced relationship when interests diverge until then unless she falls for someone badly, she is likely to stay on the rails.
Did gym rat throw stuff at her because he was a tren filled jerk or was he a guy who got out of order after she provoked him massively by raging like a spoilt princess? Some nice people get abused by jerks but other people are quite abusive and get abusive behaviour back -they just can't argue grown up. Over time a track record emerges but with a 22 year old you don't know which except by seeing how she works under stress.
Are you a good match if she likes clubbing and you are a serious guy? Clubbing is pretty immature behaviour. How important are you to her if she regularly goes off with friends? Its likely to be one of these or the other -isn't that into you or you are a poor match if early in a relationship she is running off with friends.
But she is young and all could settle. Monitor and be sure to enjoy her. If it does not last you will have experience at the least and hopefully some good memories too.