Guys that demoted their LTR to plate or FWB: what happened (cause), how did it go? How did the LTR react to her new status (also if demoted silently).
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Bozza 2 1d ago
Happened to me fairly recently.
LTR tried to branch swing, gives me the whole "we should go on a break" nonsense. Wasn't having any of that so we broke up. During the breakup gave her complete indifference, no closure and just walked away.
I went no contact with her for about a month, just completely ignored her existence. I had to reopen contact with her to get my stuff back, so told her to swing by and exchange belongings.
The branch swing must have failed. She turns up at my house all dressed up and asks to go for some drinks. Obviously her game here is to try and rope me back in. But I am fully aware of this and will be ceding no ground. Anyway, we go for the drinks and catch up. She confirms my suspicions of branch swinging - she slept with someone else "a few days" after the breakup. I just treat the whole thing with idgaf indifference. She fucks me.
For the next month or two it was a case of her trying to win me back over. So she plates herself. I give her no attention whatsoever, unless she fucks me. Then I give her some breadcrumbs.
Eventually she realises that I'm not going to play ball, and I'm not going to take her back, so the plate broke.
What I would say is:
Ronaldraygun77 8h ago
The only LTRs I’ve demoted to long terms plates (6mos - 3yrs) have been highly invested, and I was the one that had to take ended it. Even then, you have to entertain a level of emotional BS. Better to just find new plates.
AbusiveFather1 1d ago
Do you hint at a possibility of getting back together in the future, or what do you mean?
Bozza 2 1d ago
No hints at all. Just breadcrumbing attention and the odd bit of emotional validation, but only if she fucks.
superhitops 1d ago
This is wisdom.
No-Stress-Cat 15h ago
Gold fucking nugget, gentlemen.
Ronaldraygun77 8h ago
Planning on doing this myself in a couple months. Cohabitating with one of my LTRs (big mistake) and she’s just consistently proved she’s not truly LTR material. what I’ve gathered over 4 years, puts her in the “nice/fun enough but unfixable” catergory. Has a history of cheating too, I’ve stayed vigilant and know I’m up there but it’s still likely only a matter of time.
Plan is to help her find a place for “us” that works for her solo, then demote mostly silently. She viewed me moving in as her being #1, no doubt a girl will know what moving out means. Break contact for a month or two see how life is. If she’s DTF/hangout later, the sex was great, if not oh well. Will report back if anything useful is learned.