I went to a music festival this weekend and had a few situations where I could tell girls were interested one even told me to “come here” while watching me dance. But she and a few others were in mixed groups with guys, and that’s where I freeze up.
Even if I feel the signal is clear, I start overthinking like, “What if one of the guys is her boyfriend?” or “Am I about to cause drama?” I don’t think it’s a looks or confidence issue in general. I’ve had girls approach me, dance with me, and compliment me. But the moment there’s a guy or two in their group, I get stuck and usually end up walking away.
How can I overcome this? What are some ways to approach confidently in these situations without overstepping or making it awkward?
My thoughts to answer my own question is - ask who you’re there with? Outcome independence or becoming friends with the guys in the group too.
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No-Stress-Cat 3w ago
Learn how to be comfortable with yourself. Then you can branch out to others.
Fix your mindset. You have to understand that ALL women are your girlfriend. It's not a matter of if you fuck them, it's a matter of when. Those other guys? They're just borrowing them for a while until you decide you want them back for a bit.
When I do my rounds at work, sometimes I'll stop off at the customer service area. I pop in and have a look around, and I say, "Good morning, ladies. I'm just here to check up on my harem and make sure everyone's okay." Some of them will be like, "Oh, I don't know about that," but deep down, those hamsters will eat that shit up. Especially if you throw in something like, "Not only are you all beautiful women...but you all are beautiful women" They be walking around wet all day.
That's how you gain your confidence. You don't zero in on one in particular. You address them as a group. That also gives you plausible deniability. Then when you got the group locked down, you can single them out in rotation. Not full on exclusivity, just throw them some bait every now and then. They love that shit.
The trick is not to expect anything right away. They have to do their telepathic women shit among themselves before they can decide if you're worth competing for. Just be relaxed, and keep the conversation rolling. Say something off the wall like, "I knew this guy once who got blackout drunk and fucked a yak." There's plenty of shit out on YouTube to get your material from.
Most of all, HAVE FUN. Just enjoy yourself. If you're all tense and nervous and shit, women are going to pick up on that within the first few seconds. They've already got you half figured out before you even get within 10 feet of them.
ObliviousDuck 3w ago
"Why are you guys here tonight?" or "What are you guys celebrating?"
You can use that as an opening when you are shown strong interest. They will blabber about who's with whom, who's single, who's a co-worker, who's currently traveling...
Don't use that as a cold approach though, it's pretty weak as it is, but it does give you information. If used on an otherwise uninterested set, it will fall flat.
Show some interest to the guys once you figure out what the dynamic is. Some guy already in a couple might even become an instant wingman if you play your cards well.
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