So I’m a medical student in a big hospital with multiple many thousands of employees.
Since there’s a good ratio of hot women and I spend most of my time here, a large portion of my romantic prospects looks like this: woman and me frequent the same space, see each other in passing, woman starts giving IOS every time she sees me. After a while of eye contact and smiles I get an opportunity to talk to her, I’ll have friendly conversation with some flirting.
This has been a good strategy when I could talk to woman regularly, vet her (if she has boyfriend) and proceed to escalate to full on flirting. But 90% of the time woman is busy, or I’m busy, and we only get to talk in an elevator like once a month. How do I avoid dragging shit out forever, or how do I avoid making it boring when it goes on forever?
Attempt to answer own Q: The obvious answer is to just wrap it up in the first convo and ask straight away for number. I’ve done that but got the boyfriend rejection most of the time, it’s hard to vet girls you’ve never spoken to before.
Mofreer 22h ago
Most of your game will be reliant on text. So, once you guys start talking IRL by the end of the convo: you either get the digits, or somehow find them on Instagram and follow them (very easy if you already have coworkers in common). That's because you'd mostly be busy with work when seeing each other, so you gotta lay some ground work through texting and establish some familiarity there, and if the attraction is there, it'll land almost 100%.
The boyfriend thing could be true, but as long as a girl is signaling interest she's on the green. Regardless, don't put too much weight on what they tell you, it's what they do around you that you can count on.
medstudentgerman2002 16h ago
Interesting. I only did the direct approach on like 5 girls there, and out of those one literally told me "but I find you not bad either“, two of the other ones would continue saying hi and giving IOIs when we saw each other after rejecting me.
The last one I happened to be in the same course with and so I got to continue hanging out with her and after a couple weeks she suddenly started complaining about her boyfriend and ended up dumping him for me. But that only worked out because it was so easy to hang out with her in class.
This morning I approached girl who’s been secretly looking at me and trying to be in my vicinity for weeks, and only when I started saying hi to her she’d give IOIs. It smells like boyfriend to me, I think she’s trying to keep up plausible deniability by making sure I come onto her and not other way around. We chatted for a few minutes only, I usually run into her a few times a week. What’s best way to play this?
Mofreer 14h ago
You have this playing out nicely already. Keep it natural, but next time you see her mention something you're about to do after work and invite her to it (preferably the next day).
medstudentgerman2002 13h ago
Last time I just asked the girl if she can take a break later today, so we could take a walk together and sit on some bench and talk. Thoughts?
Mofreer 12h ago
If it worked, then it's good. I think you're too cautious which is understandable considering your environment, but you should just go for it without overthinking.
What you did with girl was solid, from my experience going too fast, for example suggesting something the same day, just puts too much pressure on the girl. So, I advise on making it for the next day, in a place and time where you can escalate, that way if she pulls through you already know she's game.
Lone_Ranger 2 21h ago
don't bother asking for her number - try and close there and then. Asking for a number is simply going to pull you into a simping orbiter role. If she is even a 6 out of 10, she will aleady have a collection of beta's that are texting her on the reg.
Be different. Push it. Be confident. Assertive.
next time you have a second with one of these women with whom you know there is interest - just say: Hey, I see you around all the time - but we never get a moment to chat. How about we get to know each other over drinks tomorrow night?
Don't ask for her number.
If she is interested, she'll say yes. If she has something on tomorrow night, just say
Well, cancel that - this is more important... and give her a smile.
If she is interested, she'll cancel whatever bs she has tomorrow night.
The power move is not asking for the number.
First-light 21h ago
I don't think there is a good answer to this problem. You can't vet without vetting.
If you are approaching girls who are not hardened sluts they don't usually just go into slut up for it mode when you hit them up. They want to vet you too. Its simple biology. You knock them up not vice versa. Women are supposed to vet a lot more than men are unless they have been ruined by western society and think life is a cock carousel for their entertainment.
I would think the best idea is to get a number or irons in the fire, play just for the joy of the game. Chat to women because you like women and like practising the skills. You will find you get a whole lot of info that way especially coming in unfiltered by wariness through women talking about their friends and about you to your friends. Eventually you will have a web of solid contacts, reliable information, lots of possibles and can escalate with accuracy.
Its like a hunter learning the woods because he likes being out in the woods and likes animals, not just because he is actively hunting. You get to know the deer on your patch and how they use the land. When you want to take one down, you know can often just go where you expect it to be in an hour's time and shoot it when it turns up. Likewise if you are known as that friendly hot med student when you hear a girl has broken up with her boyfriend, you just get head down her corridor when you expect her to be there and since you are pre approved by her and the group, you can just hit her up with a high success chance.
If you flirt too much randomly then you will have already shot at your deer and missed. That is a wary deer now. You are now a known player that she has had to refuse because you were not vetted yet. Even if she actually liked you when you flirted with her first go but wasn't in position to accept, she still has to undo her decisions. It is harder for the hamster wheel to reverse direction than to be pushed gently into motion by being pleasantly surprised by a known high value guy coming onto her. Learn the animals, learn the land, shoot only when you have a good shot and hunting looks very easy to the outsider.
Hunt less, observe more because you like the woods and like animals, then strangely you halve the outings for twice the meat.