Trying to answer my own questions: Guess i should have ended the date and let her uber after the second no since she wasnt going along and i could not turn it around. (But why?)

Obviously i should create more dating opportunities for experience and to care less about any single date.. (lay or not)

Also, a solid lay plan should exist before the date so as to reduce complications and making things more difficult for no reason.

The rest i cant answer yet, so i gotta study the sidebar and rp material more.

Any suggestions would be appreciated if you guys can point out what i did really wrong so i focus better on my issues.

Hopefully others can learn something too from this, thanks.

was clearly DTF, but after suggesting hotel (couldnt do either of our places that night) resistance started (shit like "next time" and "i gotta get back")

Ok, so you're a bit miscalibrated here. You say she's clearly down to fuck, but then she won't go to a hotel to fuck. So she wasn't DTF.

Women flirt like mad to maintain your interest while they work out what they want. This is normal behaviour, and you have to get used to it. They also flirt like mad to get drinks, food, attention, commitment, etc. And for sex, but it all varies a lot between women.

I didn't know what to do so my inexperience cost me an easy lay. Suggestions to improve and not fuck up next time?

Why do you think you lost an easy lay? Because she flirted like mad then changed her mind?

This is normal.... they are handing out misleading signs in order to GET THINGS. It's your job to navigate this, tease, call her bluff, etc.

So don't feel too bad about it.

So i approached this girl in college after IOI's, went on a coffee date next to school ( i struggle a bit with rapport building so this is my fix for now).

Rapport comes after attraction, not before. Rapport is easy when the girl is attracted, she'll do more than half the work.

A week goes by without talking so i text her to hang out for drinks (offered 2 weekdays) we agree on 1 easily and i stop texting. Day of date she texts me are we still going (IOI?) i'm like sure wear sth nice.

That's not an IOI, jeez....... that's wanting to meet up and clarifying arrangements.

On the date i slowly kino (been 2 yrs since last date ... ), but an hour into the date im like wtf i gotta man up.

good

So i escalate and eventually was making out with her and touching her boobs in the bar

good, but avoid groping her tits in the bar. It's great fun to do, but it will not make her feel good about being with you in future because you made her look/feel slutty IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE.

. I realized it was on so we left the bar, I took her for a walk to chill somewhere secluded to make out and figure out where to f close (could not do my house that day)

You need logistics in place better than this. You need to know options in advance.

During the walk we were making out heavily and she randomly said shes not looking for a relationship atm.

good

I responded " I didn't say anything about a relationship tho". (here i think i responded well but seems i must give off relationship vibes somehow?). Learned she had a roommate so hers wasn't an option either.

Yeah, going for a walk together is giving off boyfriendy vibes.

That's when i lost my frame. We get in my car and i say sth along the lines of "we really need to go to a hotel to continue the vibe".

urgh. You know you fucked up.

That's when she started saying shit like next time, i need to go home etc...

right

BUT she started making out again w me (so shes not rly in a rush) and we jump in the back of the car and i got her grinding on my lap while i was in her bra.

right

Now i get rly confused as i suggest a hotel again as this is a public street with ppl walking by and i'm not into the idea of car sex, but she says she rly needs to get back?

she is reluctant to be completely alone with you, good chance she doesn't want first-date / one-night-stand sex.

something about hotel together is freaking her out, and you keep bringing it up.

I say ok and stop making out but she says "did that bother you?" I said no but i think she could see i was unsure of what to do. Anyway, she continues making out but after a bit i stop bc it was pointless. (was it?)

yes it was..... why keep making out if it's going nowhere? better to tease her.

Felt like she would not stop anytime soon so that added to the confusion.

right

She wanted to uber home but i offered to take her home in hopes of taking her somewhere secluded to see what happens ( didn't try after all ). She was making out w me again during the ride and when we were outside hers i kissed her gn whatever. (I now realize i should have let her take an uber since she didnt even put out... would have probably increased chances of her still being DTF for next time. Ughh my beta part is not dead yet...)

sounds like she likes you but for whatever reason isn't ready for full sex yet. and hotel together means full sex...... and good chance you made her feel a bit awkward.

Look, your best bet for fast sex is this:

• Meet at your house very close to bar, "just for a second before we head out"
• Invite her in, while you keep saying "grabbing my keys so we can head out" or something
• Go out
• Go back to yours, because now she's been there before and it's not a big unnatural weird thing.

That's the best bet.

Anything else the trick is to handle the hurdles as smoothly and easily as possible to avoid LMR kicking in.

Considering the above and the fact that she doesn't offer to pay or even say thanks (wtf ?)

that's women for you

i think the best thing to do is to just text her after the weekend and tell her to come over to check out my alcohol collection

I suggest some normal playful texting, with long teasing gaps. Don't invite to anything too quickly.

(thats my best at creating plausible deniability LOL)

it's shit and you know it.

Meet close to you and invite her over for something better than alcohol collection. If nothing better than that, you need to work on your place :)

assuming shes still DTF.

It's not as simple as her being DTF or not. You need to make her comfortable, relaxed, not judged.... and she must be motivated. One big demotivation for girls to have sex is believing that withholding sex will get her commitment. If you keep on trying and trying and trying, she'll just keep milking you for attention. If there are long gaps, and she feels she hasn't "got you", she'll be more motivated to have sex to keep your interest.

If she says no = next. I'm bummed i missed an easy lay

You didn't miss an easy lay...... this is standard first date stuff with an inexperienced guy and girls being girls. I think these girls are attracted to you, but you've got some more steps on your self improvement journey to figure this stuff out and navigate it.

Get yourself as many opportunities as you can to minimise the emotional significance of each one.

and bc i heard girls may not give a 2nd chance if u fuck up when shes clearly dtf.

Well, you escalated, so it's fine.

I don't think she's 100% DTF, I think that's girls being a bit misleading.

Im only now experiencing such slutiness irl and seeing TRP in action as just a couple years ago i thought girls were pure and innocent (riiight).

Yeah, you've a lot to learn.

Say i could have done my place that night would it have made a difference (perhaps hotel worsens ASD and needs way more work) or did i fuck up elsewhere too?

Not sure.

Girls will flirt to play for time, and flirt to get out of situations they don't want to be in.

They'll also throw down LMR because they don't like you....... AND.... because they want to use it as a gambit to keep you.

You avoid the latter by internally knowing/feeling/being someone who is "Sure, I've got some patience, but I've also got other options, so if she doesn't fuck me I'll go right back to my other fuckbuddies".

Also, don't keep perpetually committing to the next date immediately after or during the first.... that level of commitment makes her feel she's got you, and removes fear of losing you. Fear of losing you is a big sex motivator.

Meeting at your place and then going out and back is ideal...... you'll learn this stuff, how to be smooth and how to set up logistics in your favour. Hotel might sound seedy to her, or it might be exciting. Depends on the girl. But this sounds like ASD to me, which you handle by being a fuck tonne smoother in your logistics my man.

I have not looked into asd/lmr much as i did not expect this much progress honestly;

Good! better to experience it than to read about it.

i hoped i would be lucky not to get it this time (well..). What do you guys think? What are the key lessons here for everyone? What could i have done differently? What should i do now? Thank you so much for your time, means a lot for a newbie..

We really need to go to a hotel...

You forgot the plausible deniability. If you're going to do the hotel thing, rent the room beforehand.
"Looks like I forgot something back at the hotel. Just going to pop over and grab it."
"Come on in for a minute. I don't want to leave you sitting out here in the car by yourself."

Remember to try to answer your own questions at the end of somewhere else in the post

Sounds like the main thing you need to focus on is figuring out logistics. Why can't you bring girls back to wherever you live? You're young so I imagine you still live with your parents right? The solution to that is to save money and move out asap.

Also you have to get more comfortable with banging around roommates. In my experience when a chick brings a guy to her apartment, the roommate understands what's up and either burrows into her own room or leaves for awhile. Usually not a big deal.

A common shit test goes something like this. Her: "Ugh my roommate is home." You: "That's great, she can join!" She'll roll her eyes but if she's horny enough, it's fairly easy to go back to her place.

Re: relationship vibes. Don't look too deep into her comments. You didn't necessarily give off "relationship vibes." She's just giving up ASD and didn't know how else to articulate her emotions. You gave a good answer.