hello, I would like to ask you for advice on how to be quieter and not so open in society and with girls, I have charisma but sometimes I overdo it and turn in to clown... if anyone knows a book on the topic of conversation and controlling self behavior, I would be very grateful.
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mattyanon Admin 10mo ago
Do not clown. At all. EVER.
The court jester is at the bottom of the pile, not the top.
Clowning is easy. It gets a laugh. It prevents sex. Choose wisely.
Just practice not doing it. It's that simple.
financehardo420 10mo ago
Ehh as a class a clown I beg to differ. if you can make her laugh you can make her cheeks clap.
Just don’t be over the top/attention seeking. A good sense of humor goes a long way
mattyanon Admin 10mo ago
Great sense of humour yes.
Being the clown: no.
derdeutscher 10mo ago
try cutting down on caffeine
fumandobebiendo 10mo ago
Just think all girls are a piece of shit that don't even deserve your words, stop pedestalizing them
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 10mo ago
You don't need a book for that shit. Just start talking less. Fight the compulsion to flap your yap.
If you absolutely must have some reading material on this topic, one of the 48 Laws of Power is "always say less than necessary". The entire book is great, but that one chapter is definitely relevant to your question.
MrSupreme 10mo ago
For learning to shut up,just do it. It is social calibration and if you say you're charismatic then you'll have no problem just being silent while someone else takes the turn to speak, while silent just focus on someone else,listen to the people in the convo and think of what to say next and watching out for when to say it.
First-light 2 10mo ago
You need to learn to insert a pause between stimulus and reaction, in which you can choose whether or not to inhibit yourself. That is I believe the correct psychological way of saying it. Its a case of practise but you can read stuff on it in cognitive behaviour therapy type manuals.
Lone_Ranger 3 10mo ago
there is great power in selective silences. esp when combinded with eye contact. wry smiles. knowing glances. fearlessness can be expressed with silence and eye contact.
there is a time to talk, and a time to let others talk. Sometimes open ended questions or leading questions are much more powerful than statements.
I feel that I have often just stood back and allowed women to talk their way into my bed.
Jackmoter 10mo ago
Maybe you should explore why you feel the need to "act like a clown". Do you feel awkward? Are you comfortable in silence? Do you not recognise when to stop? Can you calibrate your personality to different people/groups?
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 10mo ago
Just talk less