mid 50s former chad, twice divorced:

From where I am sitting now, with my life expereince, I would say that it was a mistake to spend so much of my life 'gaming chicks and smashing hotties'. It's a mistake. Because you don't get much out of it, in fact, I have learnt that men damage themselves from promiscuity, but in different ways that it damages women.

The main issue with spending too much time from smashing and dashing, pumping and dumping, is this; if you spend your time using your game to pick up chicks, you will only really ever interact with broken women. you'll get to a stage in your life where you go past body count of 50 (whatever, can be lower) and you realise that your view of women is really rather negative...the reason? you have only ever shared time with broken women.

Women that are turned on by the thrill of a selfish narcicist are not worth your time or attention. its easy to fall into the trap of just pumping and dumping once you work out the formular. but here's the nuggest;

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

about 60% of the spergs on this forum are simply chad wannabes - they orienate their entire lives to the pursuit of sluts. they dream of being a chad, smashing hotties on the reg. they think if they can only bulk up a bit more, refine their game a bit more, get the right threads, visit the right clubs, get that lambo, they'll be be like a boss level smasher.

they are deluded. their lives would actually get worse.

find your purpose. develop your network of friends. spend your time wisely.

At a certain point I think it's worth asking yourself whether you are actually adhering to your principles or if you are hiding behind them selectively. If your principle includes being family-oriented why haven't you been proactive meeting women to form a family? You knew plenty of virgins over the past 10 years that were socially acceptable to date (not that it's important, just that there is no excuse), though you're about passing that stage now. Focusing on your studies and career also sounds vague and like it could be an excuse.

To answer your question I wasn't the same but I did go through a long dry spell in my 20s. I think I told myself a lot of things that ultimately were just ideas I hid behind to avoid the personal growth and effort it took to attract women.

Ending the dry spell was really important for me just to get the ball rolling and be more proactive. I read the side bar and applied it, e.g. lifting, gaming women, etc. All the answers are there

You need to decide what you really want. I was 27 when I married as a virgin to a woman who claimed to be a virgin. It was a poor match made by my inexperience with women. Since then I have never legally married again but I have had a life full of women and children to the point where I crave masculine company. I won't bore you with my experiences but I will say that the two most important choices I made were;

1.That I was going to seek sex and fatherhood even if it was going to take a big push to get me to do that -that is mentally commit to the effort.

1. To divorce my first wife as the marriage was terrible and she was as cold as ice. This was frightening to someone in their early 30's with no experience beyond that woman but it freed me for life with women to really begin.

We can't have everything we want in the order we want it. Marriage and sex involve another person and you are going to need to bend your wishes and move out of the comfort zone that has grown around you for the last 27 years to meet that other person where they are. The discomfort of doing this will at first be greater than the mild discomfort of staying there and getting a year older.

There are very few ethical principles that are actually fundamental to humans -don't kill or badly mistreat close friends and family members without an extremely good reason maybe? Jean Paul Sartre was right when he wrote that circumstances dictate ethics. If you go out in the world and meet people in different circumstances you will see how their ethics fit those circumstances. Your principles fit your situation perfectly. They help you to cope with it, they fix you in it.

Maybe you will find a virgin out there and come to her as a virgin yourself just like in your ideal wish. I really hope you don't marry her as divorce is expensive if you choose badly from innocence. I have been there, done that and chosen to pay the bill to be free.

Finding a woman is hard at first but finding a good enough one is much harder. Do you know what a good enough one is for you? Do you know enough about female nature to know how certain character traits will play out down the line against your character? Whether or not you get your dick wet, get into relationships with women to see how it pans out. Don't mess with sluts unless you are certain you can walk away and be happy about it.

Oneitis is a very very high risk for a man your age starting relationships and sex. So either get it out of the way on whores or only get close to women you think are really good hearted women.

It may be hard but I advise you do it. It is worth it for having a much broader life (yes it will not be as deep in terms of what you can learn and personally experience as you will have to live for others sometimes). It will feel more real and you will know you are a successful man as you raise your children. Just take care. You are vulnerable now. You have to make moves and take risks but learn about female nature and follow the advice the ancients recommended at Delphi. Know yourself. Noting in excess. Make a pledge and mischief is at hand (could perhaps be translated sureity is ruin).

This is a great question and brings up a lot of points of view. Thank you for not asking a generic question!

Back when I was married and miserable, my wife had a friend who works at a optometrist's office. They made good friends. This woman confided in her that she was a complete kissless Virgin. She was 35. We sat down with her and we told her that after a while , a virtue is not a virtue anymore, it's a detriment. We got her set up with online dating and it honestly was a bit of a mess. She did not know how to date, how to flirt, or even look for red flags. She made big mistakes and put herselflf at risk. And this was with our guidance. She was not used to the attention she was getting, it was bombarded at her 24/7. The reason I'm stating this is that even as a male, virtue will become detriment at a certain age.

I was a late bloomer. I didn't have any moral objections to sex or dating. I just simply had a lot of medical issues that really hindered my self-esteem and really set me back as far as knowing how to talk to women. I have finally lost my virginity at 23 in a threesome with two women. It kind of set the bar a bit too high. LOL

After getting to sample something so profound and so good for the ego, I wanted a repeat of that over and over. My big problem was that I did not have the confidence or skill set to make that happen. My upbringing and conditioning had shaped me to be a nice guy.

I feel that making mistakes is a fundamental to learning. I made some monumental life changing mistakes. They hurt, but I learned from them and I can pass that knowledge on.

What society and most guys will fail to tell you is that there are some very predatory women out there. They will see inexperience and somebody with a good job and pounce on that. This is where strong boundaries frame and experience come into play.

I would love to say that you could get out there talk to a few women and land the girl of your dreams that is the perfect wife and mother. Truth be told, you're probably going to experience a lot of heartbreak and a lot of unideal experiences. That's just part of the game and learning true female nature.

I fell for the wrong woman. I got baby trapped and abused and taken for a huge ride. I am still dealing with my cptsd. There was a lot of violence and emotional manipulation on her part in our marriage.

I got out of that marriage and started gaming women harder than I've ever done. I was extremely successful. My notch count went through the roof and to this day continues to grow.

I truly believe that every man has to spin plates and bed many women. This is required so that you don't become a cuck or a chump in a marriage. Unfortunately, women today are broken bro. You're not going to find a mentally stable tradcon wife.

I'm still promiscuous and non monogamous. I can say that is what I want and I'm highly satisfied with that decision. I have a stable loving and happy relationship. My girl joins me in my salacious escapades. And I got a wonderful daughter in the process.

I recommend getting out there and spinning plates. If I had a son, I would encourage him to do the same.

Im 36.Until i was 18 i had no kisses,no sex,no self esteem,class clown and bad student.Had nothing goin on really.I found my first Gf in college and stuck with her for about 8 years,got married too. Had plenty of sex and the experience on being with a girl through that time,there were a couple of time where i wanted to dump her but she stuck with me and i was VERY blue pilled and obviously a result of scarcity. If it wasn't for TRP i would have ended up being a male feminist,unhappily married and probably with a son/daughter that would have grown up in a shitty environment.

I dabbled into seduction videos and websites for a bit and cheated on her,she found out immediately after playing super detective girl.I found Chateau Heartiste and started internalizing red pill concepts,those archives are still amazing content.

The problem with rags to riches stories is that they ignore a load of hidden factors.

"I was poor once, I am rich now. You are poor now, therefore you too can become rich!".

The logical fallacy is stunningly obvious when you think about it.

In pickup/PUA/RP circles it goes like this: "I was once blue pilled and a virgin, now I'm a whore, therefore you can too". People LOVE these stories, because the implication is that if you do the same thing you'll get the same results.

I was a virgin until my mid 20's and I've had a lot of fun since...... but that's ignoring a few facts: I'm relatively tall, fairly good looking, extremely articulate, and can rapidly absorb information and act on it. So all I had to do to get girls was just stop doing the dumb shit I was doing - a bit better dressed, learn what women like, learn to show a more masculine/decisive side, don't do unattractive things (I never simped, but I did defer to women in many ways), physically escalate and boom: results.

But if you're not tall and not relatively good looking, the journey will be harder.

Just hoping to meet someone organically, get married and have kids before 30.

That's the dream you have been sold. "It will happen when you least expect it" / "Don't try too hard" / "Women can sense desparation", and a whole load of other blue pill lies.

The problem with marriage should be obvious by now. You might want to rethink your life choices given the modern legal and social landscape.

But as I get older my mindset has been changing and have many conflicting thoughts, especially motivated by the reality that a pure hearted young virgin is not just gonna fall into my lap

Not only that: she simply does not exist.

not unless I get out there and fall balls deep drowning in pussy first.

right

Also as I understand theres other benefits like developing confidence and other masculine traits.

right

But I feel like its something I will regret if I turn on my principles.

err

Well, you've got a choice to make here.

Come back when you've made it..... but let me tell you this:

your principles are blue pill programming that you have been indoctrinated with in order to benefit OTHERS, not yourself.