Went on tinder and found a chick that has a bf (she claims they are in an ENM relationship). Ended up getting her back to my place and we kissed and she just teased me all night (dry humping, no clothes) and she was saying “I want you to come back and think about me”. Wtf is that? Is this bimbo just so used up she’s afraid a guy will ghost her? She was hot af which is rare in the non monogamous realm of women which is why I liked her. What could this mean? Playing games? Uninterested? Afraid of being ghosted after sex? She claims she wants to see me again and enjoyed the night.
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mattyanon Admin 1y ago
You have shown too much commitment and not enough attraction.
She has no fear of losing you, so she plays the "make him wait" game - almost certainly because you've demonstrated commitment in some way (eg paying for date, agreeing to a future date).
she's trying to beta hook you
right
nothing
yes
partly interested
no.
This is what she says, but it's not reality.
Tell her there won't be any second date sex and not to get her hopes up.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
You are way overthinking this.
You either didn't escalate enough, she wasn't into you enough, you didn't escalate in a way that turned her on enough to justify fucking you, or she never planned on fucking you, or some combination of them
I doubt it was the last one but it could have been (but unlikely) either way, it wasn't enough, you need to get better at escalating or better at your up front impression to them or both to get this less
Then make plans again. If she accepts them good if not then ghost her. What is hard about this? You guys need to go for the plans or whatever before you start mentally masturbating about what everything means.
Nich2022 1y ago
I definitely escalated enough, I was finger fucking her and she was kissing my d*ck. She just kept saying “one day” and “i need to give you something to look forward to” and “we’ll see each other again”. I hit her up today to make some plans about 3 hours ago and nothing yet. Oh well
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
This is an insecure control tactic. They want to entice you to come back. These women are not good to be around. This woman sounds unhealthy. The bottom line is though that if she had wanted you enough she would have fucked.
Nich2022 1y ago
Yeah if she wanted me enough, she would have fucked. I figured this was her ASD. But she left me on read today so whatever. Fuck it
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
2nd comment, I also don't know why so many of you guys give us such a short field report with almost zero details about escalating and expect us to surgically pinpoint what could have been different
Vague posts get general answers
First-light 2 1y ago
See her again and see what happens.
Remember this girl rides men. She has a fucking loser cuck at home. She likes controlling men. She probably enjoys having a string of thirsty types begging for a taste and then sometimes she grants them it. Loads of keen orbiters is probably her dream.
You may well decide the juice is not worth the squeeze but probably you will want a taste to confirm it is ordinary juice, just needs more squeezing.
Play her, she is playing you.
Nich2022 1y ago
She’s trying to play me. But i was finger fucking her and she was kissing my d*ck. If i don’t hear from her today fuck it.
First-light 2 1y ago
You can't get put on the thirsty men string but could be fun to spin her hamster wheel by refusing to go on the string. If you messaged her last, definitely leave it if she does not reply. If she messaged you last you could say "So I am thinking of you, lets meet on x day at y time)"
Musicgoon78 3 1y ago
Chicks are weird and living in the ENM realm I can tell you that most ENM chicks have at least 4 or 5 dicks on regular rotation.
They are getting lots of action and aren't really going to put much effort in you unless you stick out in their viewpoint.
If you still want this hoe, make another date and get way more dominant. She wants to be ravaged and taken. So don't let her control the interaction. You were just so consumed with primal lust for her that you just took what you wanted. Comprendé?
Nich2022 1y ago
I was primal, we were kissing, I was finger fucking her and she was kissing my d*ckShe just kept saying “one day” and “i need to give you something to look forward to” and “we’ll see each other again”. I hit her up today to make some plans about 3 hours ago and nothing yet. Oh well. But yeah ENM realm is wild.