When I met my current partner, we would talk and things would come up regarding what I'm attracted to.

My response would be, I'm attracted to a lot of things, a lot of different types of girls, except fat girls. I'm not attracted to fat girls.

Yup, I was that clear, pretty much verbatim.

Now, years later, when she gains a few pounds, she freaks out and tells me, well I better loose some weight because you don't like fat girls.

I don't say anything, don't reply, I just give her a kiss or slap in the ass.

Guys, life is so much better, with a girl who gets it.

I don't think there is any one line but she does need to hear the truth softly. We can sugar coat the truth for women but they do have to hear the truth or they can't know what the reality is. I can't see how plausible deniability helps when she needs to know the truth.

"You were so much hotter when thinner" is just true. As is "You will only lose weight when you achieve a calorie deficit. Unless you use more energy than you take in, you will not lose weight, so you need to do something to achieve a lower intake". "We agreed this because it was important"

I appreciate that your options are more limited at the moment -you have less chance to inject dread into her world by her fearing you might run off with a thin woman- but women don't usually get thinner as they age so its worth trying now. Don't get too heavy about it. Just keep letting her know how much better actress x looks now she has lost a few pounds, how great your wife looked when you first met her and so on. Show not tell where possible, less of "You need to lose that fat or I will not really like you" and more of "Thin is beautiful, thin turns me on" She will need to know you love and appreciate her but you have to be honest with her.

Just don't make it about how you think she is crap because she is fat or she will be more likely to want to hear someone else tell her she is good. Don't make it an argument where you try to convince her that reality is reality because to women reality is subjective. Don't make it about you pressuring her ("Oh no abusive behaviour") Just make it light, short but honest. Tell her briefly and lightly but fairly often on good days when she is strong enough to do something about eating less, not when she is feeling weak or already arguing with you and will just want to reach for food to feel better. She is your great wife and she is pretty but she will be healthier, happier, more likely to won friends and influence people, better able to conceive if she is a healthy weight. Certainly you will enjoy her more that way.

I wrote a short post about this awhile ago.

Basically you must reward good behavior, while ignoring bad behavior. Remember that women act upon emotions more than logic. And there is nothing more emotional for her than a man's attention and approval. So you should give attention and approval to her in order to encourage behavior that you like.

It's a fine balance. Figure out what works best for your wife and adjust accordingly.

If someone is exercising and not losing weight, it's because they are taking in more calories than they are burning.
It all starts with the diet. Plan the meals, do the shopping, cook proportionately. No sugar, no flour, no junk food.

Her: "Why do you want me to lose weight?"
Me: Because I want to spend many years to come with you, and the more years, the better.

You got good stuff from the other guys already.

Before I give you anything, I want to address any unmarried guys reading along:

this dude's post demonstrates why you never marry a woman with the promise that she'll improve something after getting married!

Really, you shouldn't get married anyway. Terrible deal for men.

But women are on their best behavior when they're trying to lock you down. They almost never get better post-commitment.

A'ight, back to you, OP.

Did you ever read the big 3 books from the MRP sidebar?

• "Married Man Sex Life Primer" by Athol Kay

• "No More Mr. NiceGuy" by Dr. Robert Glover

• "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" by Dr. Manuel Smith

Read all three.

You lead by example. So far, it seems that you are. One of the concepts MRP came up with to explain the patience you need to have is the thousand foot tow rope. One boat is towing another with a thousand foot tow rope, which means whenever the lead boat changes direction, it takes a bit for the towed boat to change too. How long have you been at the weight loss? How long have you been at your new fitness level?

Learn the local language and ditch the fat chick.