I have this personality where I like to learn new things and seek out knowledge and often come across beneficial videos and articles. And I often get the urge to share these findings with friends who themselves are quite knowledgeable. I feel like sharing things that interest me is a way that I connect with people. I used to be like this before as well but with memes and funny videos. I’ve had friends in the past where we bonded by sharing things and having meaningful discussions and conversations
Now I have a large amount of friends and will often catch myself wanting to share these findings with friends and even things that have happened to me or questions that I might have. But what I noticed is that people’s attention spans seem to be fried and anything that requires more than 3 seconds of interest is often discarded.
For example I’m In a groupchat where I was sharing something that happened to me and Was seeking advice. One friend replied to me however a random cat video was shared prompting another member to respond to it immediately as if it’s the coolest thing he has ever seen, ignoring the other topics of discussion. I have friends that won’t reply to me in group chats but always engage with me in private conversations.
In another groupchat I can almost prompt discussion if I start talking about women or something controversial but if it’s anything other than that you would think these guys are the busiest guys in the world. Overall these are great friends in person and people to spend time with but it seems that they are often hot and cold online. I can share something that would get an instant reply while also sharing something else that might not get a response. I can say this applies to a lot of people that I have met, which leads me to believe it’s a symptom of a society plaqued by cheap dopamine.
I feel like I used to exhibit these traits before that my friends are currently showing when I was busy chasing after women and all that appealed to me was getting the approval of women and nothing else mattered. I would take forever to reply to my friends or be even remotely interested in anything else. This experience shaped who I am now and I learned the hard way what happens when you put all your eggs in one basket. I feel like I’m more well rounded now with regards to how I divide my attention and how I prioritize my time. Even if I don’t reply to people instantly their message will be in the back of my mind until I get the time to respond. I feel like most people don’t read or seek knowledge enough to have a normal attention span any and all their free time is spent chasing women or watching memes and cheap funny videos.
I also notice myself getting irritated if I’m with a friend in person and I notice their attention wane or zone out while I’m talking and that might even get me to react to the behaviour. How do I stop caring if people notice or interact with what I want to share and how do I stop wanting to always share things that I find cool with people, without feeling like I’m being ignored or that my opinion or experience doesn’t matter.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1w ago
Because you're childish and need to grow up.
TL; DR
mattyanon Admin 1w ago
Urgh....... I fucking hate receiving anything that says "you should watch this". Like, are you paying me for my time??
Right....... and if it's "go and watch a video", then sure, but you want a response AS WELL ??
There is no social expectation that anyone should reply to a group chat.
Ok..... if people are zoning out in person: click your fingers and say "oi! attention over here!".
People online / texts / shit like that: dude.... whatever....... it's online shit, you know how people are. Connect with people in the real world, text only for logistics.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
It's generally, but not always, an indicator of where there priorities are, that's why.
However, this isn't always the case. Some times i take the longest to reply to people who are high priorities to me because I need to take time to find the best wording I can for even some shorter texts because I value preserving those relationships
Some times people actually take longer to respond if you're a high priority. Speed is not always a better indicator of priority than quality of a text. Some people also don't respond because they're day is crap and they don't want to respond and they know you won't hold it against them if they wait for you
At least this is how I am with replying to people who matter to me. I'm not always speeding to type.