By this I mean a strategy where you dont focus on optimizing your game, but just go for it and ask her out straight away.
I'm asking because in most cold approach situations I get nervous and sometimes it's so bad there's no hope of any improvisation or overconfidence or "game" (I usually just say fuck it and ignore these women and focus on the ones where I feel confident). In those situations at best I can do a simple "I like that shirt" and some lame conversation and a "can I get your number" in the end. Did this a few times with varying success (most had a boyfriend (confirmed by 3rd party) but still seemed flattered).
Is that a viable tactic? Should I do this more? Or am I just stroking their egos and not actually giving them any tingles. Talking to them that way kinda felt more like being their gay best friend than a romantic interest lol (I'm exaggerating but it def didnt feel very flirty, just very very friendly).
I make a good first impression on women though and theres a bunch at the gym, at work, uni etc. who are eyeing me. Feels like a ton of wasted opportunity.
Lone_Ranger 2 1w ago
The title contains your problem "just shoot your shot" being a viable strategy....
Shooting your shot becomes a brilliant strategy (IMHO the only one) once you have a very very very low cost of shooting your shot.
The ideal cost of SYS (shooting your shot) is actually negative - as in, below zero. Let me explain.
I notice young guys on this forum are reluctant to try SYS day game, because they are worried about failure. They are worried that getting turned down is somehow reducing their mojo, decreasing their SMV or ego ...this is plain dumb. They may even throw in the worry that they will be 'seen as a guy that chats up women' (even more dumb).
Once you realise that talk is cheap, you can simply talk to more chicks. it's true that very few chicks want to do same day bangs with some random guy they just met, but it happens all the time. The trick is 'exposure' - the more chicks you chat too, the more likely you are to meet one that is in the mood to 'do something they might later regret'.
The second part is this: the more you chat up chicks the bettter you will get at it. It's a skill, like driving, swimming or axe throwing. The more you do it, the better you will get.
Spergs on this forum are the equivalent of a some guy that refuses to throw an axe at the target 'because it might miss'. He then stands there forever, waiting for the perfect target that is unmissable. You see how retarded this is? He will never be a good axe thrower. The only sensible strategy is to realise that your first 100 throws are going to be shit. Just just need to get better at throwing, and the only way is to strart throwing.
The reason you are getting nervous (at OP) is because you are bad at cold approach. The reason you are bad at it is because you don't practise enough. The reason you don't practise enough is because you are bad at it, and are expecting poor results. You see the loop you are in?
The only way to break out is to simply start cold approach and NOT CARE about the results.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2w ago
This is such a bad strategy, especially in the middle of the day.
My biggest pet peeve of questions here (besides arrogant askholes which will always be #1) is guys who are just like:
"that red pill improvement thing that isn't working for me because I'm not actually incorporating or developing most of it, yeah I'm just gonna start going down the rabbit hole of oddball solutions instead now"
If your strat was viable, everyone would be doing it. Your post body describing all of your weaknesses such as getting nervous and being unable to think is a problem yet you don't want to work on that because there's an oddball solution you think you can latch on to instead.
Go fix the actual problem you described in your post.
medstudentgerman2002 2w ago
Fixing this feels impossible. Sometimes I'll be able to comfortably start a conversation with a girl when there just happens to be a good moment (like when we're in an elevator together). But then there are times where it's so distressing I can barely even get my sentences out. I do muay thay and am generally an outgoing person. Am in healthcare so I do small talk and crack jokes with strangers all the time but that doesnt really transfer.
edit: to be clear, thats good advice, just trying to figure out a way to apply it.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2w ago
Self limiting beliefs will always kill your problem solving abilities. Why bother if you don't believe you can. Problem solvers don't have self limiting beliefs, they spend their time figuring out solutions
You've already consigned your fate to failure with that attitude and when your oddball solution fails even harder you're going to feel twice as demoralized instead of just improving.
medstudentgerman2002 2w ago
I don't think it's impossible, I just said it feels impossible. I don't have a solution atm. I really want to solve this problem though obviously. Was thinking of the "just shoot your shot" thing as a stepping stone perhaps.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 2w ago
It won't get you the results you want. Practice conversing with strangers until you're no longer nervous.
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MrSupreme 2w ago
No.
Musicgoon78 1 2w ago
If you don't meet the challenge of the situation you've already failed.
This strategy of not optimizing your game is exceptionally bad. A girl will respect you trying. She will not respect you taking a cowardly shortcut.
At best, this strategy will lead you to failure very quickly. It's not a good habit. Develop good habits and face your fears. That's the only way to get better.
Lone_Ranger 2 2w ago
I skim read your post until I got the the bit I was looking for.......
"Can I get your number?"
That is your issue. Not just yours, but your whole generation. When you chatting up chicks (cold approach) your entire focus is on 'getting that number'. And you falling into their trap - they want orbiters. To text them relentlessly. They are dopamine addicts, and they hand out their numbers to as many spergs as possible, to get orbiters.
Focus on getting laid. Not on getting numbers.
Try it. Try initiating, and DON'T ask for a number. If she tries to give you her number, say
"Why would I want your number? I'm right here. We can talk IRL!"
She will say something like
"Well, I have to go now"
Then say
"Ok - was nice to meet you"
Just let them go. Let them slip through your fingers. Just stop being desperate. Initiate cold contacts several times a day, and develop outcome independecen.
mattyanon Admin 2w ago
Best tactic is to learn to be less nervous.
The best tactic for getting laid through day game is to be relaxed and appealing enough that she sticks around long enough to start to be attracted enough to invest time and emotional energy in you. That doesn't happen through just shooting your shot.
whytehorse2021 1w ago
That's what I would call direct game. It's the most advanced form of game and it requires a good understanding of indirect game. It's how I got my wife and how men have been doing it for centuries. As women adapt to things like pick up lines, day game, online dating, etc. we are kinda forced into direct game.
Like others have said, middle of the day with strangers going about their business is probably not going to get good results with direct game but you could shoot your shot, get rejected, and then turn it into social circle game by asking if she knows anyone who wants to get married and have kids(or whatever your objective is). You never know, she probably has a bunch of single friends...
whytehorse2021 1w ago
Oh, just for reference here's an example of direct game: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxC2vm6Tegk