That whole sleeping on the floor thing is her being a child. Obviously, she knows that's not what you meant, but she's setting up a theatre play about her being a victim.

What do you do when a child sets up these little plays? Well, you can raise your voice, yell, and take away privileges. But that quickly loses its potency if you don't save those for the rare occasion. It especially loses its potency if you don't follow through on your or-else's.

Or you can just ignore it, and don't give it any attention. You wanna pretend like you can't move the train set to get to your LEGOs? Guess you're not going to be playing with your LEGOs then. Oh, you wanna sleep on the floor? Cool. Enjoy.

Or you can make fun of them. You go: "Boo hoo", and stomp your feet, as you tickle them with your finger, and rock a cheeky grin.

and itl develop into an argument

Don't argue with women. It's like arguing with children.

Instead you give warnings, then simply state your case, and last resort there are consequences (ie you behave differently as a result of her behaviour). Do not enter into discussions, "sharing our feelings" or trying to negotiate. All that stuff just tells her brain "wear him down and you will win". Any weakness from you just leads to her continuing to argue. She knows that you'll give up in the end.

So don't argue with women. Warning. Statements. Consequences. (no advance warning of the consequences, you want her scared of them, not boundary-pushing). Women don't like to be shut out and ignored. They fucking LOVE arguing because it shows what a strong position she is in.

She generally wants me to initiate the sex

"Make him initiate" is the first step in the power play. She is never in a vulnerable position this way. It's the man's job to make the first move THE FIRST TIME, after that you shouldn't stand for this passive shit.

It starts with getting you to initiate always. Next step is her saying no sometimes. Then her saying no often. Then her saying no most of the time. She never initiates. This is how the trap closes. She is intentionally not investing by behaving like this. And she is killing her own attraction and respect for you (semi-intentionally, although of course she'll deny it).

Eventually she claims that because i asked her to not wake me up randomly if i have fallen asleep, she interprets it as the bed being too small for us and that i dont want her around me.

Intentional misunderstanding.

This is completely untrue and a wild assumption, i try to reassure and comfort her and ask her to come back to the room to which she continues to double down.

Proven intentional misunderstanding because she refuses to accept the truth.

So i stick around near her and remind her that the baby is going to wake up in the middle of the night and i dont want us to have an argument trying to get her to breastfeed our baby if i have to wake her up while she continues to lay down on the floor in the living room. Eventually she comes back into our room and proceeds to sleep on the floor and says that now that shes near the baby i should be satisfied.

Either:

She is punishing you by withholding intimacy, thereby proving you correct for making that guess about her behaviour.

Or

She can't bear the child to be left without being attended to 24/7. This is very, very bad for the child, and implies a lack of boundaries and a bonding disorder with her.

meanwhile im just trying to have smooth sailing and limit our arguments and petty situations.

Sadly she knows that this is what you want, and therefore she knows that she can get what she wants by creating conflict and arguments.

You're thinking too much about it, young brother. The baby is her attention for right now. She's a new mom. She needs your support right now. Help her out where you can. You're at the indifference stage right now, and it'll be like that for a few months. Eventually, you're kid will grow on you and it'll be your turn to be the baby hog.

After all, you're a new dad too, just trying to figure out where you fit into the equation. But don't worry, it'll all come together and you'll be blowing your wife's back out before you know it. Then comes kid #2.

Bro, what the fuck are you doing? I'm going to just be blunt because you need to hear it. First off it's your responsibility to take care of your child it's not just her. She's still having sex with you and even goes out of her way to give you space. These sound like comfort tests that you're failing miserably.

I'm the crazy manipulative bitch whisperer my friend and she isn't even remotely manipulating you. You're being an absolute drama queen.

It pisses me off to see this shit. When my daughter was born I wanted to be around her as much as possible. She used to sleep next to me as a sweaty little ball of fire in her onesie. It was cute but uncomfortable.

All parents don't get good rest when their kids are young. This was a decision that you both made. Be a dad and a good partner. She's just looking for comfort and help. This is pretty normal.

Do you want to be a partner and a father or do you want to be a single guy that pays child support?

I miss my kid. The courts will automatically treat you like a subhuman piece of shit if you decide that a partner and a kid isn't something you want.

So you need to decide if your future is being a bachelor or a father and partner. Playing these griping games is a fucking waste of time.

Don't worry too much about this. Trying to reason with her is like chasing a frightened animal into the bushes. She won't come to you because you are frightening her away by appearing not to consider her feelings.

She is a new mother and that is a pretty intense hormonal experience. They get all wrapped up in it and the baby is the biggest thing in their world. They can only see things through the baby. They can't see why you don't.

What you are saying makes perfect sense, there is no point in two people being woken over a baby and if one of them is supporting the other one and the baby it makes even more sense. There are heaps of modern dad types who will tell you you are bad for being logical here but it just makes sense and its perfectly fair if you are working and she is not -she needs to support you so you can support her and the child. However, one does have to try to see it through the mother's eyes too. She is just all wrapped up in her baby. Sometimes it feels like hard work for her but she is all in committed. As women do in all other things- she will welcome any help without feeling she ever owes you any understanding or pay back for it.

I would hold out with your boundaries if you don't want a slippery slope where you go to work on minimal sleep and then come home and do her job for her. Its very common these days. It renders two adults ineffectual, instead of one. Don't do that but you do need to be understanding. Don't make a big thing of any negativity form her. Don't try to reason it, just be supportive. Also as the baby is an extension of her at this stage, showing your love for the baby will also come to make her feel loved. On the other hand arguing your case will only upset her more. Her reaction was emotional not logical, you can't win this with logic.

You can say later when this disagreement is in the past "look babies kill sleep, lets make a deal not to wake each other when we are catching up on sleep"

One regret I have from the time when I had small children was not being as understanding to mothers as I would have been if I had known more then. When you are young you get (falsely) educated that men and women are basically the same except women have more rights and are allowed to flake out. Of course wise men resist this notion but its still hard sometimes to see how wrong it is. However once you become a parent, nature comes and slaps than nonsense down. Women are really quite different to men when they are being women not being girls trying to do men's stuff. They are really quite vulnerable and totally absorbed in their families -the good ones that is. While you can't allow yourself to be ridden by a hormonal backseat driver, you will feel better with life and life will feel better with you if you try hard to be understanding and caring with mothers.

Remember these days women are pretty clueless when they start. Some dimwit sent them to school with the boys and never even trained them in the job they are now doing. They have more lessons in how not to have a baby than how to have one! The insanity of that is staggering. This is the only job that actually matters in a woman's life, her one unique selling point and she has to pretty much find her own way. Its not too easy for them. They have been totally failed by the education system and you are not left holding up their world while they try to make sense of it.

This bitter old man would have been a bit more understanding if he had his time again.

You're both tired and stressed. This can lead to misunderstandings. This is before even taking her wild hormonal shit into account.

Read @Musicgoon78's replies to you again, because he's right, especially this part:

Since you say she's trying to manipulate you. What is she trying to trick you into and what does she gain?

She has nothing to gain from that. It's a comfort test, done subconsciously and out of instinct and borne of misunderstanding you.

I know that you probably don't have much free time, but when you get some reading time, do read the following items from MRP's sidebar:

1) "Married Man Sex Life Primer" by Athol Kay

2) "No More Mr. NiceGuy" by Dr. Robert Glover

3) "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" by Dr. Manuel Smith

To assist with your reading, I strongly recommend checking out Rian Stone's YouTube channel, where he has a playlist called "The Sidebar Series" which he recorded as companions to various sidebar items from both MRP and TRP. These videos can be listened to while driving or doing other activities, as the visual shit is just him sitting at his desk. The audio is what matters. Also, bear in mind that these are companions to the actual reading and not substitutes. He says as much himself in some of the videos.

That's all long-term stuff that can help navigate and even prevent such situations in the future. For your immediate situation, again, she was butt-hurt because of misunderstanding that stemmed from fatigue and stress. Cut her some slack. This reads like you might actually have a good woman.

Just keep in mind that good women are still women, though. They need us to be their oak, and if they earn that, fulfilling that need benefits us in turn.