I was with my girlfriend (20 years Old) a few days ago and after smashing, I got multiple calls from a plate (we’ll call her X) that I used to see a long time ago.
She saw the calls and i declined them all. It was like 3-4 calls back to back. It actually happens quite often, But this is the first time there was many calls in a row.
Anyways she got pissy and said “who tf is X” and I just said “we already talked about this before” (we had a convo about this).
The vibe got weird so I just said I got to go and she just said “go do what you have to do” and gave me a “passive aggressive” kiss and I bounced. It might have looked like I was going to see X but I really wasn’t, I actually had to go.
I reached out the next day to provide some comfort sand she was being passive aggressive with short texts and didn’t even respond to my last text (just put a thumbs up on it).
I pulled back and now I haven’t heard from her in over 2 days. She has a pretty big ego and most likely won’t reach out if I don’t.
I’m not going to lie she is the hottest girl I’ve been with and keeping frame with this one has been hard but I feel like I’ve done pretty well. I wanna keep smashing, I’ll never marry or have kids with this one.
She almost never reaches out first and it’s annoying.
Is this a case where I need to provide more comfort? Or do I continue to pull back?
I guess part of my problem is deep down I don’t want it to end yet
Musicgoon78 1 1mo ago
She's testing you. Don't reach out to her. This is a power play. Go out and have fun. Take pics. Post it on whatever social media you have.
Here's what you don't want: If at any time some other girl thinks you're sexy or tries to hit you up you shouldn't need to DEER about it. Do you want to have a relationship or be cuffed to a dictator? You shouldn't live your life in apology.
She can accept it or fuck off. If she doesn't reach back out, move on. You just gave each other the gift of freedom. There's plenty of hotties out there bro.
Musicgoon78 1 1mo ago
I wanted to follow up my reply with a story. This is my personal experience and I was shocked at how well everything turned out if I'm being honest.
https://www.forums.red/p/theredpill/323265/don_t_put_yourself_in_the_doghouse
benzino 1mo ago
I'm warning you, speaking from experience, you are showing early signs of oneitis. Be careful, even when you said never marry or have kids or whatever.
Do what Musicgoon said, and think like this: she's hot, you already smashed - the win is yours. Now work on yourself, your career and expand other options. If she comes back, then she comes back - no chasing. If she doesn't, she found a better option - no chasing either way.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Unless you guys have a onesided open relationship i don't know why so many of you guys keep giving out your commitment and then having side pieces. Downgrade your girlfriend to a FWB.
Why the fuck do some of you guys enjoy this much drama and stress hiding your side ventures. Jesus. Half the problems in this post would disappear if you didn't commit to a girl only to still try to sneak the single life.
That shit is so much effort. Are you afraid to lose her? Committed out of scarcity. Stop wasting eachothers time. This isn't even a morality argument, that shit sounds beyond draining to manage. And if it isn't now it will be.
redhawkes 2 1mo ago
Yea, keep rewarding shitty behavior, it'll work. Put her on soft next for 5 days, if she doesn't panic or at least get competition anxiety, you know your answer.
mattyanon Admin 1mo ago
She's winning and she knows it.
If you need to break the cycle of "you must always contact first", you need to be more random and more changeable. Don't reach out with comfort...... give it a long break, then say something random that invites a response, then ignore for a while. Make plans then tell her you can't make it. Double text then silent. Basically you a breaking her being passive and making you do all the work by being active and random and keeping her on the back foot.
But honestly, doing all this is a fucking pain and it's wearing to do this long term. Find more options, you'll feel better.