First date yesterday (and we matched like 2 hours prior to that), we didn't actually call it a date, was just a walk in the park (and i didn't pick her up). Shes 22.
Kissed her immediately on the cheek on meeting. Later (not immediately) she said its the first time this happened to her. She said i surprisingly made her feel calm and that she didn't expect we'd have good conversation prior to meeting. After learning more about each other and getting in my car, her evalution of me was that of a "half player" but warm, positive, social and calming person, but also direct but too direct for her liking. Doesn't make sense tbh (duh).
And here comes the disrespect. She didn't want almost any touching, let alone kissing. I did anyways, more than once, despite this, threading the needle but at some point had to stop when it become a pretty firm no. But later after that she said she had sex on the first date with her EX but otherwise she has boundaries. (I take that as a big disrespect but i guess i am not smooth enough and i guess i deserve it?)
I've had first "date" sex so its not like i can't pull it off.
And after giving her the really now? look, she immediately realized and admitted she is being hypocritical (woman brain). At least she is not stupid?
Yeah, i am still in the process of fixing myself and getting my skills and experience up, i currently have 1 plate besides this girl and going to be seeing her and also go after more girls but maybe someone can give me some advice still.
What is the likely part i didn't do good or maybe what is best course of action going forward?
For now my best thing imo is probably to make her come to me and make her feel the competition if she is invested enough. She has reasons to expect it. We've texted a bit after but ill probably not be the one to text next, especially as i know how our schedules align and i can tell when she would be likely available again, so if she doesn't text back i can hit her up after several days when i know she's more likely to come out.
Also, this is a bit of a rant, yeah.
lambOfGod 4w ago
This is your average gen Z girl (18-27 as of 2024).
First off, you said that that you met online, on an app, so that was the end of me trying to put an effort in replying to your situation.
Only autists and men with no options do exclusively online apps now. I'd say even as another fishing rod, it's really a desperate choice. You'd be better off paying for good escorts than go on dating apps these days.
aweawea_ 3w ago
I agree, i haven't even put in the necessary effort to flesh out a profile enough for it to give very good results, but yes its not something i rely on or even use often.
Atm i don't have any "dating" app. I uninstalled em. I install them like twice a year and just see whats around. Tbh, i still think i could get some success if i put in just a bit more effort but its still not worth it because i am in a shitty area for it. Its so bad that it literally takes 1-2 days worth of free account swiping to completely run out of women to swipe on and get the "we ran out of people in your area, do you want me to extend the distance?".
Given that i still get several matches and conversation tends to start, the success rate i'd wager is actually not bad, so if there were more women around, i'd probably get a lot of matches? dunno
Which is why i haven't put in effort into it. If i was in a better area i'd put in more effort and get some from it. But yeah right now i am chasing other avenues.
mattyanon Admin 1mo ago
Sure, that's fine.
Andddddddddddddddddd.............. fucking NEXT.
Dude..... find better options for yourself.
She isn't the only woman on the planet. There are better options for you.
aweawea_ 1mo ago
ya, pretty much, everything is getting clearer everyday...
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1mo ago
This doesn't read like disrespect, but rather disinterest.
When she shows disinterest, you disengage.
next!
Here's the thing a lot of guys fail to grasp: not every woman is going to want to fuck you, no matter how attractive you get. There will always be some who just aren't interested, and that can have more to do with her mood and/or time of the month than anything you as a man can possibly do.
All any of this stuff does is increase your odds of a favorable outcome; there's always still an element of chance.
When the dice roll comes up snake-eyes and she just isn't interested, stop wasting your time on her. Wish her well and let her go.
whytehorse2021 1mo ago
Maybe she's just not that into you. You're one of her 847 options of men.
EmpireCrimson 1mo ago
You've already invested too much time in this. You've been with her for what - two hours at that point? Put her on the list. When you feel like trying again in a week or so, give her a call or send her a text. If she comes out, great. If she's cold when she comes out to see you, that's the end. Lose her phone number. If she hooks up with you, that's great too. Now she's a plate.
There are hundreds of million of women on the planet. Wasting your time with those who can't or won't give you what you want is just that - a waste. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Carry on.
aweawea_ 1mo ago
ya ur right, i don't post often, sometimes i do with a specific example and at that point its likely to become one of the cases where i'd have invested more than its' worth. Us who are still working on this need that lil bit of corrective feedback from time to time. Appreciate you and everyone elses responses.
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Lone_Ranger 2 1mo ago
Overthink.
Get busy rather than get analytical.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Why the fuck would you keep trying? That wasn't a shit test dude
She over shared but you also walked into that. You couldn't read the room and fucked up. I bet her ex took her on a more exciting date, probably at night, was higher SMV or Right guy. Right time. Right place.
You took her on a boring walk in the park and immediately made a move. Wtf. Dude you didn't get respected your game and date idea is just bad
Good luck getting laid with newbie skills from a walk in the park. How are you expecting tingles for sex making bad (and then forced) moves and a low energy date idea and then getting mad that a guy who actually did things right got a better outcome
Read the room
aweawea_ 1mo ago
First off it was at night/dark and secluded place and in my car when i started making those moves. Despite anything else, i'd feel gay not to at least try in this circumstance but i should read the room better and not keep pushing if there's such resistance in that case.
She said its what she prefers (to start with just a simple walk). And tbh, i also do too. And ya i know you don't listen to women if you want a certain outcome you lead and make the necessary choices and actions suited for getting the outcome that you want but frankly, i think i look good enough and why even despite "date idea being bad" sometimes i still can get success and also i am not really mad.
I will still take your advice and do more of what i should do next time just to not waste time again.The guy probably wasn't better looking than me but probably had more pre-selection and its what i need to work on and sure his date and logistics were probably better too.
I wasn't even trying to get laid that night (logistics weren't good for that) but to just feel her up a little. Which has worked other times.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Yeah, because that's the vibe and atmosphere every girl dreams about getting escalated on for the first time
/s
Wtf. This is basic frame 101. And you're here just straight up listening to what she has to say instead of suggesting something fun. That or you barely gave her enough tingles or rapport when you had your profile. She would have gone to a bar at night with Chad wearing a black mini dress and cleavage and touching him to signal she needs dick that night
READ THE SIDEBAR
Translation: you know your SMV is not that high
It might have worked other times but it seems like a mediocre strategy and you need to evolve your strategies
aweawea_ 1mo ago
Well sure my SMV isn't that high because i don't have enough pre-selection yet and i also need to work on my style/profiles but my face AND body are that high, which is why despite all this, i can still pull it off. I've been in the gym for 10 years. And i was wearing the shmedium Tshirt that emphasises my body quite a lot.
But still, your words helps. Certainly.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
All good. Just being blunt. I hope it helps