My girlfriend has treated me poorly over the past few years. She’s the type who treats me like a doormat, makes me do all the dirty work, contributes little herself, and has little interest in sex. In short, the classic story. Even an 'I love you' is nowhere to be heard. She’s also not self-reflective and blames everything on me.

I had already had enough for a while, but financially I can’t just separate. To pass the time, I’ve been texting a lot with other women lately. Sexual things, emotional things, just everything I had to share. I haven’t had sex with other (beautiful) women yet, but if the chance had arisen, I would have taken it.

My girlfriend found out that I was texting with other women, but strangely enough, her reaction was different from what I expected. Instead of the expected anger, she reacted with anxiety, asking questions like 'Were you that angry with me?', 'I need a partner', and 'I’m afraid you’re cheating'. So she didn’t respond with 'get lost, I never want to see you again'.

I’m wondering how I can build on this. My kindness and service over the years have been met with trouble, ingratitude, a lack of love, and sex. And oddly enough, bad behavior is met with approach.

I initially wanted to be very apologetic and beg for forgiveness, but I’m curious how I can get back in the game. Blame doesn’t get you anywhere, so how can I conduct the upcoming conversations in a good way without going through too much self-criticism and begging for forgiveness?