Ten years ago, I could go out on a date and as long as she was smiling, laughing, willing to get a little touchy, I could count on getting laid after a few more dates. But now, and this has happened a few times now, where I would go out, get all of these signs and escalate, and a second and third date and then just get hit with a random text “hey you’re not quite what am looking for, had a great time but sorry”. I think I know what’s happening, polygamy is being encouraged, and there’s all this dating advice going out to women where they think it’s perfectly acceptable to being actively fucking some boy toy while looking for a relationship. It’s gotten to the point where anything else other than sex on first date is a red flag. I swear the next time I sense this on a date, I’m going to say I’m going to the bathroom, get in my car and then leave.
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sean_karaya 4w ago
I feel you man. I have similar outlook, and therefore more or less out
As I commented elsewhere in this page, I found my peace with a doll inspired from Genshin Impact.
I am not Alpha, not good looking, not XYZ - and changing myself to get a ran down specimen is beneath my self respect. I invest my energy in my Doll, my small boat and things like that
[deleted] 3w ago
[--removed--]
sean_karaya 3w ago
no i do not have to
[deleted] 3w ago
[--removed--]
collapsecore 3w ago
lmao, inspiring stuff
Solezhtyn 3w ago
What the fuck
TheRedPike Senior Endorsed 1mo ago
I don't audition. I'll invite gals to go along with something already planned that I wanted to do, but I don't think I've ever asked one on a date. Some have asked me and I went along, but the vibe was definitely different and thinking back I'm pretty sure I got ass on every one of those.
mattyanon Admin 1mo ago
Yes.
Fuck them on the first date...... if there's going to be three prolonged dates of chasing and fucking around, let HER do it. If she doesn't put in the effort to repeatedly see you, ditch her. Chasing is for chumps.
benzino 4w ago
Hoeflation - 20% of top men get 80% of the women and the women being surrounded by simps.
The thing is if you look physically attractive and is a fun guy to hang around with, it's not difficult to get laid, considering the competition nowadays.
I for one, don't mind being used for sex.
Lone_Ranger 2 3w ago
It's actually not the top 20% of men.
People make this mistake all the time. They think the pareto rule applies everywhere, and it clearly doesn't.
It's more like the top 3% of men doing 90% of the shagging. I remember reading about the rise of the super shaggers about 20 years ago.
It's all perfectly natural and logical - in Monkey colonies and lion colonies, only the top alpha fucks the females. None of the betas ever have sex.
The human female aversion to betas is logical, biological and rational. In cave times, we lived like monkeys. The alpha of the cave fucked all of the females, and the beta males stood around watching.
This is nature at work. This is the reason why human babies look like their father from day one - its a survival mechanism. The first thing the alpha of the cave would do when a baby was born was inspect it closely - if it looked like him, ok. If it didn't, he would smash its skull in with a rock.
Nature is tough. No woman wants to fuck a beta.
EurasianChad 1 1mo ago
Social media hive mind is creating ridiculous standards for women to have in men. Add to insane amounts of options through social media simps & their friends thinking they have more options than they do.
Musicgoon78 1 1mo ago
What are you on about?
I have no problems with women like this. Maybe you're giving off a defeatist vibe or just aren't having fun.
Maybe try a few dates and write some detailed field reports. There has to be something going on that's a bit wonky.
I would say pry further if you feel like a date is going sideways.
MyBoyJob 1mo ago
Not defeatist, but I feel a paradigm shift in my bones
Musicgoon78 1 1mo ago
I have zero idea what that means. Sounds like a cope. Unattractive vibes or behavior are just that. You can call it a paradigm shift or a turkey corndog for all I care. A big part of attraction is mental. Shitty attitudes get shitty results.
MrSupreme 1mo ago
You sound like you're about to enter black pill territory. Next up is disliking sex because it is just masturbating using each other's body. Have fun,do what you gotta do to prevent not having fun in your romantic life.
[deleted]
redhawkes 2 1mo ago
You're fucking up by not closing the same night. Just arrange logistics and go for it. While you play house with them, someone else is getting his dick wet already. She thinks you're faggot or pussy for not escalating and lose the tingles.
Once you stop playing the bf game, things will click. In this era, dating is waste of time, get some plates or fwb and plow. Personally, I don't give a fuck about LTRs anymore, let alone dating and tbh I don't even have time for that. I have 2fwbs and couple of plates I fuck randomly. Whenever I feel like going out or do some shit outside, I hit up one of my fwbs and that's it. Im early 30s btw.
Bitches ain't the problem, but guys like you who play the inverse game. It's your job to fuck, not to give a shit about relationships. Until you understand this, you're going to be used as a meal ticket or emotional tampon.
If you want to get results, you gotta max out your SMV and to be in the top 20%, or you can be average nobody and fight for the barrel bottom scrapes. It is what it is bro.
No-Stress-Cat 1mo ago
That's not polygamy. That's you being used for a meal ticket.
When it comes time to cough up the goods, these are the women who will bail without a moment's notice.
A lot of men don't realize that "woman game" out there exists just as much as "man game".
Women are humans too: they adapt to their environment, and are autonomous in their own navigation of the dating market.
First-light 1mo ago
Not been on a date for ages but reading and listening to what people say I think the climate is changing. Women are playing their game smarter using technology to get them what they actually want more -Chad sex, free food and attention.
Men will need to adjust and we do see it happening -many guys on here are trying to copy Chad traits to fool women for a short time purely to get sex and there are a growing number of men who are less excited about handing out free food to women. It will mean both men and women have less sex than they did. This may not be an entirely bad thing as it may mean that there are less miles on a woman when she finally decides to have children.
What will be interesting to see is if dating falls off in popularity to be replaced by hookups or more serious courting, will the hookup girls become looked down on or will it be "you go gurl"
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1mo ago
You're allowing yourself to be used for free meals and attention.
Back to the sidebar for you!
Escalate fast. If they want to fuck you, it'll be a raw, primal urge and they'll do it right away. [edit - make sure your escalation is calibrated, not clumsy]
If they don't want to fuck you, they'll still use you for free meals and attention as long as you allow them to or until they get bored.
Push for sex as soon as possible. Get rid of the ones who don't want to fuck you.
If none of them want to fuck you, increase your SMV.
Lone_Ranger 2 1mo ago
I think I can see your problem: you're going on 'dates'.
Dating is the problem. Data is beta. Solution? Don't go out on dates. Just say no.
Chad doesn't go out on dates. You know why? He doesn't need to. He just meets chicks and rails them. This is the very essence of dual mating strategy - women have totally different standards for chad and for billy beta bux.
By going out on dates, you are signalling to women that you are beta, which gives them the dry panties.
Just quit with the dating already, and start smashing.
whytehorse2021 1mo ago
It certainly has changed, but that was 70 years ago and us men just got the memo. Somewhere around 2000 we began reverse engineering female nature and with the help of science we've got it down now. Pass shit tests, escalate, fuck, rinse, repeat. Anything else is a waste of time and money.
For women, dating means hooking up with multiple men while extracting resources from other men. They come in with an abundance mentality. So should you. Have multiple women in your friendzone, multiple fwbs, and multiple plates and random hook ups. That's what "dating" means now.
Lone_Ranger 2 1mo ago
Dating has been retarded since about 1964. Back in the day, women used to get taken out on a date by a young fella, and they would then talk and have a burger and a milkshake, and then he'd walk her home. She was a virgin, and she was deciding on who to marry. She might go on a few different dates, before she decided on a young man to marry.
Then the sixties went into full swing. Free love. Sex outside marriage was normalised even for educated or middle class girls. Girls from good homes were no longer expected to be virgins and get married at 19 to 21. young people went out to concerts, happenings, discos, bars, nightclubs etc, met other young people and went home with each other and had sex with each other. Only parents went out to sit at restaurants occasionally.
Then, sometime in the late 90s, earlly 2000s, there was this weird revival of 'dates'. Fuelled mostly by nostalgia and in particular the rise and rise of rom-com movies. Suddenly, we were living in this dual reality: women wanted to go out on dates if they were interested in guys 'seriously' (resource extraction), but we never did away with the night club / bar / festival ONS and hook ups.
We're still living in this weird dual system reality - dates are for the betas, and women will kneel down in the bathroom stall and suck off chad without even getting his number.
You have to ask yourself - which role do you want to play? The beta bux dater? Or the chad that slays?
Up to you brother. Make your choice.
Me personally, I have never gone out on a date, ever, and I never will.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 1mo ago
I married young in mid 20's, divorced in mid 40's.
When I divorced, I typically would meet up with women to go to a public park or something a walk, Ideally to check them out physically as there's so much photoshop shit. Women would be 20+ pounds heavier than pictures showed,etc. Or a coffee place or bar , especially if weather was not good. Always split any purchase if there was one.
always had quick exit possible if girl was fat or a bitch.
If we ended up hitting it off, agree, don't be buying dinners/drinks , see if she offers to pick up tab. Let her. If a girl offers to pickup the tab, she's very interested. Let her pay, offer to pick up next one.
Note: I was generally looking for relationships, not just a quick smash.