Just do it. We live in such a vagina centric society that you owe her nothing. This isn’t the 1700s where your rejection would leave her a dishonored spinster no man would touch.
III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority
Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore.
...and also:
V. Adhere to the golden ratio
Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more. When she speaks, you reply with fewer words. When she emotes, you emote less. The idea behind the golden ratio is twofold — it establishes your greater value by making her chase you, and it demonstrates that you have the self-restraint to avoid getting swept up in her personal dramas. Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status. In her deepest loins it is what she truly wants.
Fuck, just read the entire 16 Commandments.
Edit:
without hurting her.
You are not responsible for her feelings.
That doesn't mean go out of your way to be hurtful, but you can want what you want and go for what you want. Other people's feelings are their problem.
Read up on the Assertive Bill of Rights. I don't remember if it comes from "No More Mr. NiceGuy" or "When I Say No I Feel Guilty", but you should read both books.
If you debate it with her, she will only conclude you are arguing against seeing her because you don't want to be with her/ don't like being with her for more than sex and food and this threatens her relationship security.
So you can choose between being an early disappointment that makes her ask questions or a late one that makes her angry when you suddenly drop out of things. Personally I think the late way is a bit dishonourable and I would try the early way first, resulting to the late way if she just won't let off debating it.
To try to engineer debate out, clearly say "I am going to do X next weekend, so I am afraid I won't see you then but we can get together on Tuesday evening" I would not add "If you like". If she can't do Tuesday evening then that's OK because you could not do Saturday evening, we all have stuff to do, lets see when we can get together. If she can do Tuesday you have been positive, that you want to see her not left it sort of "well if you like"
The problem comes when she says "Why do you have to do X?" "What about us?" Can't you do X another time and so on. Then you have to be positive again and not get drawn in. "I would like to do X" "I would like to" is usually stronger than "I need to" If you say you need to, she may be able to engineer a way to make you not need to. Need makes her feel she has not been chosen against but you have chosen against her and she will need to get used to it. In the end you have to say if pushed "Its OK for a couple to have some individual interests, a life of only being able to do stuff together is not what I am attracted to"
Don't get deep into it. Otherwise you will get her taking revenge trips with her friends and generally getting more distant once the initial clinginess turns to hurt and then to anger. Those who play the dread game to provoke clinginess fail to see that usually just ends with someone being really hurt and pissed off and withdrawing partially or quitting.
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mattyanon Admin 1mo ago
It's going to hurt her.
She's going to cry.
She'll be on Tinder within the hour.
MyBoyJob 1mo ago
Just do it. We live in such a vagina centric society that you owe her nothing. This isn’t the 1700s where your rejection would leave her a dishonored spinster no man would touch.
financehardo420 1mo ago
“I think we should see other people”
Musicgoon78 1 1mo ago
Lead with your actions not your words. Don't tell her, just do it. When she asks for something, don't jump on it immediately. Take your time.
[deleted]
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1mo ago
Don't explain shit. Just have other things going on.
Have you read the sidebars at TRP and MRP?
Hell, from Roissy's Sixteen Commandments of Poon:
...and also:
Fuck, just read the entire 16 Commandments.
Edit:
You are not responsible for her feelings.
That doesn't mean go out of your way to be hurtful, but you can want what you want and go for what you want. Other people's feelings are their problem.
Read up on the Assertive Bill of Rights. I don't remember if it comes from "No More Mr. NiceGuy" or "When I Say No I Feel Guilty", but you should read both books.
NeoSpartan 1mo ago
Impossible. You just have to do it.
If you can't think of a good "it's not you it's me" reason then that might take some of the sting out it.
First-light 1mo ago
Avoid debate by engineering.
If you debate it with her, she will only conclude you are arguing against seeing her because you don't want to be with her/ don't like being with her for more than sex and food and this threatens her relationship security.
So you can choose between being an early disappointment that makes her ask questions or a late one that makes her angry when you suddenly drop out of things. Personally I think the late way is a bit dishonourable and I would try the early way first, resulting to the late way if she just won't let off debating it.
To try to engineer debate out, clearly say "I am going to do X next weekend, so I am afraid I won't see you then but we can get together on Tuesday evening" I would not add "If you like". If she can't do Tuesday evening then that's OK because you could not do Saturday evening, we all have stuff to do, lets see when we can get together. If she can do Tuesday you have been positive, that you want to see her not left it sort of "well if you like"
The problem comes when she says "Why do you have to do X?" "What about us?" Can't you do X another time and so on. Then you have to be positive again and not get drawn in. "I would like to do X" "I would like to" is usually stronger than "I need to" If you say you need to, she may be able to engineer a way to make you not need to. Need makes her feel she has not been chosen against but you have chosen against her and she will need to get used to it. In the end you have to say if pushed "Its OK for a couple to have some individual interests, a life of only being able to do stuff together is not what I am attracted to"
Don't get deep into it. Otherwise you will get her taking revenge trips with her friends and generally getting more distant once the initial clinginess turns to hurt and then to anger. Those who play the dread game to provoke clinginess fail to see that usually just ends with someone being really hurt and pissed off and withdrawing partially or quitting.