I've been seeing her almost every day the last couple weeks. Especially this week, but she's also been on her period. We've had little disagreements, and misunderstandings that we'd work through. They usually come up around the time of her period, and I realize she's insecure person. The problems are usually something I do wrong.
When it comes to sex, it's daily, but I feel it has been becoming too familiar. In our conversations of intersexual dynamics, she admits men love porn star enthusiastic sex. Heck yea, I love it too, it's very important to feel that kind of desire. I usually try to make the sex better, 2 night ago I brough out the riding crop and she said the sex felt so great. I know it did for her, and I loved it too (she also has a bondage kit I wanna get into). But yesterday I did a fopaux, and said hi to someone else (a woman) before greeting her when I walked up (thought she was mid conversation with someone else). Then something else happened, and it seems I'm always doing something wrong when she's on her period. She's also admitted to just not being horny while on her period, but the sex can still be great (like 2 nights ago where I was whipping her with the riding crop).
Delving into yesterday evening, she was very quiet during sex, and I usually lead her into talking more. Do I even have standing to complain, she gives out sex, but she's just so unenthusiastic and quiet (like last night). Sometimes this "duty sex" (her words) feels so weird. Last night she had this energy of "lets get this over with", coupled with her being extremely quiet (she usually is quiet, but was a different energy). I asked her what she was thinking about, she replied running. Running, during sex. Not only is her quietness making me feel uncertain, and I don't like how unenthusiastic she is (like last night). Thinking about running has me bothered, the whole energy was bothering, I felt like stopping. It's important to me that my girlfriend is focused/present during sex, idk if this is even valid. I will still lead her, but I want her to try to make it good for both of us, but I'd like to see some effort from her. I don't wanna tie her up every night, that'll get old. I've read SGM, but it may be time for a review.
She texted me if I wanna do "anything special tonight", is this womanese, sexually? I just feel like turning her down after all this, I feel she's seen me too much lately. I don't like how enthusiastic I've been to see her, but how from my POV her enthusiasm is declining.
What do you guys think?
MrSupreme 1mo ago
For how long have you been together, I'm guessing less than six months.
When I was married before finding the red pill, I cheated with a late 30s woman, she was red pilled as far as women go and she told me something that changed my perspective fully, "we have to miss each other", I was trying to chat with her every day. Shortly after that I found TRP.
It seems to me you're spending too much time,even for a formal girlfriend type relationship. See her once a week,maybe twice.Dont turn it all into fuck sessions, take her out and walk the town with her,go for a hike,a concert,the movies,the theater,dance classes.She wants to do stuff,they're like little kids, they wanna go to Disney every weekend, remember she's not dating you,she's dating a lifestyle,an experience.
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Musicgoon78 1 1mo ago
I can say that without a doubt this is a similar situation to mine. The declining enthusiasm for sex and nitpicking.
First off it sounds like you aren't steering the ship. You should be taking the lead in this situation. Second, if she's giving bad or lackluster sex you should start pulling back your time and attention.
You two are together so much that she's taking you for granted. Pull back and spend more time on yourself and watch her change her tune.
I think that her mentioning"maintenance sex" is incredibly disrespectful! It seems like she loves you but doesn't respect you. That's especially hurtful to a man. I would say if she's giving you half-assed sex, stop her in the middle of it. Show her you're strong and won't settle for mediocre sex and you can say no to her. Work on your boundaries with her. It sounds like that's a problem.
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redhawkes 2 1mo ago
Not reading this novel, just the title.
Familiarity breeds contempt.
Second, you ltr'd postwall single mom if I recall correctly. Now reap what you sow.
Third, integrate DEVI from SGM.
Edit: Already regret replying to your shit, let it stay here for others to learn from you.
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NeoSpartan 1mo ago
It's always more intense in the beginning. That's the natural cycle of a relationship.
There's a honeymoon period, where it's new and exciting and you don't know very much about each other, but that eventually passes and you get into LTR territory.
"Anything special tonight" is womanese for "We aren't going out enough" in my experience.
"Feel like running" during sex is def not a good sign.
I don't know enough about the intricacies of your situation to really say but.. sounds to me like the fire is going out. Happens man, you could try to save it if you really like the girl but otherwise, but I would advise starting up hunting mode again. The next one might be better.
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NeoSpartan 1mo ago
Went through the same thing recently myself bro. Was great at the start, good in the middle but by the end I just didn't see it going anywhere. I liked her and all, but.. just not the right one ya know? Couldn't see it being what I wanted in 10 years or w/e.
First one is tough brother. Sucks man.. But, it's kinda like trying to pick your favorite thing out of a hat at random ya know? Probably won't get it on your first try. Every girl I've ever known has turned out to be very different from my first impression once I got to know her. Sometimes in great ways, sometimes in bad ways. It's tough out there man.
Keep it up though. You have gained a lot of valuable life experience ya know? And one other very important thing I have learned is there's pretty much unlimited girls out there. Being good with women is the same as any other skill, the more you practice, the better at it you become.
"Yesterday I said hi to a girl before her, that then made weird energy. Then there was something else about the pacing of the run, and her pace. To make up for it I bought her ice cream."
Do not not do this. You fell into her frame, and you did nothing wrong. This is not what girls want. Females are the same as the were 1000 years ago in most respects, they want a strong guy a "bad boy". The first step towards becoming that is not apologizing if you haven't wronged her. A casual "hi" to a girl is not something you need to make up for.
Girls often do this insane jealousy thing, what's needed is to recognize it for what it is and react accordingly. She was being crazy so poke some fun at her. Like... I remember one time an ex got all flustered over a hair she found in my bed.... it was her hair... so I just teased her a bit about being silly and everything was good.
Confidence is key man. It's a trope, but most tropes are real bro.
That's my piece, hope it helps. And bro if she already has a kid you are honestly probably better off without that mess. Think about it, do you really want to be stuck in that kind of dynamic? And she's giving you the hot and cold treatment on top of it? Fuck that man.
And next time you will do better. You learned a lot. One thing I feel I should reiterate is NEVER APOLOGIZE unless you actually really fuck up. Females always see it as weak in their lizardbrain. You have heard of shittests right? I don't even think they do them consciously... it's more instinct.
Anyway, Do not listen to what they say! Look at what they do! Females are always hinting rather than saying. It's something intrinsic to them, it just is. Spend enough time with enough of them and it will make more sense. As much as it can anyway. We live in a strange social time dude. Bears and shit. Feminism. The natural order is all mixed up and the consequences have been a disaster. But really, girls are the same deep down as they have always been. Develop chad energy and you will conquer.
Tease em, play with em, have fun with it. Get to know them, lead the interaction, make the plans. Be the man.
whytehorse2021 1mo ago
I avoid my wife like the plague when she's menstruating. It's a total hormonal reset and not pleasant to be around. Just take a week off from her around that time of the month.
First-light 1mo ago
This is how it was always likely to go from your previous posts.
I replied to the one about pulling back in the context of how to pull back effectively without hurting feelings more than you have to but really reading this, it looks like you need to assess if she is for you, can she really make you happy?
If you feel she can make you happy, don't pull back, actually do something special with her and then just to be different don't bang her that night unless she straight up asks you to. Do this from time to time just to shake it all up a bit and see what her reaction is. Perhaps she will get keen to please you when you don't ask but do nice things for her and perhaps she will be quite happy with no sex as she is not that into you sexually most of the month. This will help show you what you really have here, what she wants from you to be happy and what she wants to give you to make you happy. Do you want to give her that in return for what she gives you?
When a woman starts saying "Duty Sex" get scared. Its one step away from unwanted sex and that is a step away from the big R word that ruins a man's future. In femtard land women have no duty but to be strong and independent. Men have various duties but so they should have -ungrateful bastards. Beware. In this day and age you don't want women having duty sex with you. Its practically sexual abuse in femtard world (which is the legal world we live in) and if you piss her off, she might just decide being a victim was easier than being a failure. You are a young man, she is an older woman. If she doesn't feel happy dealing with a young man's sex drive you can't tell her to do her duty any more. All you can do is put up or get out, so beware.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 1mo ago
(we've been having disagreements (usually when she's on her period), and her genuine desire fluctuates, along with her enthusiasm during sex.)
So, how many of you guys don't know that most young women go a bit crazy on their periods? Some, quite bat shit.
Their hormones are making them crazy, think Roid Rage.
If the girls is good at other times, track her period, even talk to her about it in a nice way. Explain how you noticed she gets very agitated and not fun to be around during her period. GIRLS know about this, she shouldn't be surprised.
There's things she can do medically to help adjust it, or you also just stay away during that week. Good for both . If she denies it or calls you a jerk or whatever, time to move on.