You are in a massive slump.

You need to pull yourself out. I recommend doing a 5k run every morning and going to the gym every night for 45 minutes and lifting heavy. Sounds like a lot, but its not. You will look and feel very different after 90 days.

What you do with your time in between run and lift is up to you. The magic of doing much more excercise is that you will feel natural testosterone flooding back into your system - you will feel switched, capable, confident, strong.

Forget all about dating and pussy. Forget about that.

Focus on you. the chicks will come when you are ready.

Right now, you are not ready.

Sound like a bunch of excuses to me. You've only fucked three girls and really haven't put in time or effort to improve that situation.

I mean you've done monk mode.... That's an active choice not to pursue women. Don't come on here and act like you can't understand why you're lonely and sexually frustrated. This is your fault. You chose this.

I've been dead broke. Homeless broke and overweight. I had zero problems getting women. When I've financially done bad I've still had many plates and more time to bang them.

You're attitude is holding you back and your excuses don't help you. Stop making shitty decisions and apply yourself towards talking to women if you want to do well sexually.

Broke guys get laid too. It's a self-limiting, ego-protective buffer (ref. The Rational Male) to think being broke makes getting laid out of reach. Being fit, and having game is where it's at. Yes, you should take the necessary steps to live a comfortable life economically (for your own happiness), but even once you're there, you never lead with money.

"Monk mode" is another buffer, another comfortable cushion against daring to shoot your shot. You set up these buffers for yourself ("I'm in monk mode", "I have no money"), because you're afraid of women. Stop being afraid. Worst that will probably happen is you get shot down, and your ego gets a bit hurt for a while. So what?

You said you got chubby at 14, and obese in your 20's. And then you didn't say anything more about it, so I'm going to assume you're still obese at 35. Well, all your problems with getting laid start there. All your buffers start there too. So get in shape.

You don't need money to get in shape either. If you head over to r/fitness, and check out the wiki, there's tons of great info on everything from lifting, to cardio, to eating right. You don't need money to go for a run. You don't need money to do a body weight program either (you'll find those too in the wiki). And you'll probably save money on cooking proper food, rather than buying junk.

As for lack of experience at 35, don't fret it. Nothing you can do about that now anyways. You can only look forward, and start today to make the necessary changes to get laid going forward. You easily have another 35 years of fucking in the tank, provided you make the necessary lifestyle changes now.

Besides, if you count "amount of fucking" rather than "amount of girls", you're probably no worse off than the average guy out there (if you actually fucked in your LTRs). There's no rule that says you need to be in the double or triple digits n-count in order not to be a loser, although more experience with different women helps when it comes to internalising AWALT.

Just leave the past in the past, and start now doing the work to become the sort of guy who gets laid. Get fit (wiki at r/fitness), and get red pill (sidebar at r/theredpill or r/marriedredpill).

Don't be this guy: https://youtu.be/qBWfF5df_tI?si=4jwA1uu3xFbPvVYa

So much depends on one's feeling of agency. Trying to fool oneself does not work here. I think the majority of the MGTOW monks are actually incels in self delusion. Your case is not this bad but that is the extreme of it and I don't think it does them any good, often leading to black pill feelings.

Monk mode by choice is great, monk mode by default is horrible. Same experience but totally different feelings because of the lack of agency in one case. Its the difference between fasting and not knowing where you next meal is coming from.

I think you need to be on top of your agency. Getting laid just once, would help that hugely, then you could choose celibacy a lot easier till you were in a better position. If that is not a good option, you need to be clearly choosing to either seek women or banish the idea of seeking women from your thought. Its the being in the middle that is the problem, wanting it but feeling it is beyond your reach.

A firm decision either way is helpful, either yes you are open to women and really will do x and y about getting one or, for this month, (break your fast into manageable chunks) you will not entertain the wish for a woman because you are choosing to work on something else with that time and energy that you feel will be of more benefit to you. You will formally review that decision through self examination at the end of the month.

Andrew Tate was so broke he used to eat kidney beans and rice because that's all he could afford... Sylvester Stallone was so broke he had to sell his dog for $50 outside a liquor store because he could no longer afford to feed him. He had $106 in his bank account when he wrote Rocky.

Just follow your dreams and leave the rest of the world behind.