Your mistake is committing to a non virgin, because women mold themselves on the men they fuck. So you want a blank slate that adapts to you, your type of sex is the sex she is into, not some kink another guy was into or like often happens she doesn't do extreme things with you to not look like a slut.

Just look at women's hobbies, they took them from their ex boyfriends, just ask them how they got into it.

I feel you bro. I hate the feeling that a woman is alpha widowed, it makes me feel like she is settling. No man wants to be settled for.

But you have to bear in mind that women don't always know what they are talking about. They say stupid things to their friends to impress them.

I would judge her by her behaviours - is she treating you like a god? Does she seem to have a decent amount of dread? If so, just ignore the silly shit she says to her silly friends. Its behaviour that matters.

The truth is that most women beyond the age of about 22 are alpha widowed. That's life. The only way to get around this is to judge for behaviours.

1. Why were you going through her photos / messages? That is female behaviour
2. Why are you wanting to commit? Do you need to commit? What for?
3. How old are you? whats the story? you looking to marry have kids?

How to tell if you are dealing with an Alpha Widow: If she says anything about her ex that you didn't ask.

Go look up the war bride effect and then convert her to you as her alpha. https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/03/war-brides/

There's literally no problem here. The only wrong thing here is that you went through her phone which is an EXTREMELY feminine thing to do. If I had to guess I would say that you think she's too good for you. You don't have to worry about her "ex" he was just a different type of guy.

Remember bro, women have "fluid identities". They have morals and beliefs of whatever guy she deems the most masculine in her life (A guy she's chasing per se). That guy used to her her "ex", now its you. Enjoy it.

Girl sounds like quite the freak if she likes it purple. Spank her harder I guess, also, theres a good chance her showing you that pic of her purple bum was "accidentally on purpose". Girls like doing that, giving hints rather than saying something outright. Seems to me to be giving hints to you about not feeling dominated enough during sex. You could try adding a blindfold, similar effect to rough but safer.

I'd be careful if I were you though dude. One thing I always worry about during sex with a girl like that is if things go bad and she wants to hurt you, there's like physical evidence.

But I wouldn't worry much about the ex if it was only 2 months. Not really enough time to become an "Alpha widow" or w/e, girls have to pair bond pretty hard to get stuck on a guy forever and 2 months is definitely not enough time for that to happen, even if the sex was really good.

I can't possibly accept to be second in line.

Good news is you're not second, you're fifth or thirteenth, or one hundred thirty sixth. There is always going to be better, tougher, stronger guys than you.

I doubt she's alpha widowed, she's probably not use to hearing no, so the fact he dumped her off to the side will always sting.

Either you get over it or find yourself a dateless virgin.

IMO your ego is fragile because this clearly got in your head.

This is part of the reason I don't snoop through women's phones. Not worth the headache.

So she's fucking you good, you like her, she adores you and treats you like a king?

I don't see a problem. Sounds like you're looking for a problem.

Women are going to have a past. Some of the truth is going to sting. That is what it is. You could next her, but why?

Would you throw away something good because you don't have a problem and need one?

Ok, I'm an old guy here, like 60. so, us old guys, who are still dating women at this age, we have a much expanded view of the world.

how so?

We've had lots of LTRs', have been married, the girls/women we are with, same. The women generally have had kids with the ex-hubby,etc.

so, think about all that , right?

so, I'm putting myself way way back in time, in your type of position. Here's what i see.

Ego....

First, how can you determine if you are the best she's had? And in what way?

Sex relationship both?

Every girl I've been with, except a few ONS, have told me I'm the best they've had.

Ask me if I believe it. F No, Women think they have to say that if they have a chance of keeping you. I have to tell him he's the best I've had otherwise he wont' want to continue seeing me.

So, just remove all the Ego shit. You young guys really need to put that away.

Assume you aren't her best and guess what. What the hell is her best? what does it mean? Think about it, what was your best sex, what was your best sexual partner? How do you define it?

Was it the girl, was it the experience?, the place/location, the sexual tension, the newness and so on.

The honeymoon period of couples we've all heard about, last months to at most 2 years. That's when things are new, you are getting to know it other and it's "exciting" and such.

Anyone who hasn't gone more than 2 years with a girl, doesn't really get that. Sure, you may have got bored with each other in 2 months and split or whatever, but after 2 years and still enjoying it.

The old saying, anyone can hit it right, once, but hitting it almost every time after years, now that's tough.

so, getting back to are you the beta or second best or whatever.

Beta, definitely thing about that. Are you paying her way? Don't.

My girl was a slut before me, I know it. I don't pay her way, our finances are not mixed. Why does she want to and enjoy satisfying me?

So, your girl, if you aren't paying her, buying her stuff. You say she treats you like a king and you are 1.5 years in.

Does she expect a ring? Now, I know of girls who hid their intentions, they wanted the ring and behaved well, UNTIL they got the ring. But theirs always signs. If you are thinking of ring or , no ring but a partnership. Remember, partnership, dont' mix finances.

Focus on the following.

Does she want to satisfy you and enjoys it? Does she initiate sex, does she worry or get anxious when you haven't in awhile? Does she treat you like a king, you said yes do you have the same goals in life? Does she add value to your life? She is not inhibiting your goals in life. Does she follow your lead, you want to do stuff/things and she lets you lead or lets you do your thing?

If she's doing really good in these areas, then life is good dude.

I mean, what do you expect/need? Looking for perfection, that's not life.

Maybe this guy was her best, before she met you?

Maybe this guy was best sex, in the short time they were together. Again, it's easy to have crazy sex short term with someone. At least for me it was and they guys I know. Sex is great when it's uncomplicated, you don't care about the girl, just having fun.

Is sex not as good with someone you really care about? Not what I'm saying, but it's different.

Let the "Best" thing go, it's not helpful