Note: I'm done with this girl for good.

I was seeing a girl who I didn't take seriously. After a little while she was pushing for "romance" and to be "courted".

I told her that I viewed it as a casual relationship. I'll admit that I did initially claim I was "working towards" a relationship when she got heavy LMR after grinding on my dick with her pants off.

Anyway, she didn't want to do casual with me. She acted like she doesn't do casual at all.

So then she went on to fuck her 1st ex again and then her 2nd again. The first ex allegedly told her he changed and wanted a relationship and that she was the love of his life. Then he fucked her a few times and ghosted her.

In between the time that she fucked the first ex again and the time she fucked the second again, I tried to get back with her because I was horny I guess and also thought that maybe I shouldn't have responded the way I did when she was mentioning her concerns previously.

I even told her I was wanting to get serious (this might have been a bit unethical since there was like a 70% chance I'd never have gotten into a relationship with her no matter what). She said we want different things and said she does things with "intention" and "purpose" in regards to dating. She acted like she just doesn't do casual and referenced my text saying I wanted casual and said I was clear that I wanted casual only.

Yet, on New Year's Eve/Day both myself and her second ex reached out. She ended up going with the second ex, and when they saw each other he told her he was moving in a few months and she still fucked him that day and then saw him again a couple weeks later and fucked him then. She chose to do this rather than get back with me, and only after she stopped seeing him did she end up reaching out to me again and we started seeing each other again (at this point she was at least hoping for a relationship with me).

When I grilled her on this when I initially found out, and told her how she wouldn't fuck me casually yet fucked him casually, she eventually said, "Who said it was casual? You're saying that, I never said that. The plan was for us to do long distance for a while and blah blah blah, but then I started overthinking afterward and realized long distance wouldn't work so I ended it."

That made sense to me... from my perspective, she was desperate and she was willing to take a long distance relationship at this point because she was so desperate for a relationship and the other two guys she's fucked in her life (me and her first ex) didn't take her seriously.

However, yesterday I asked her about this situation and she said she knew as soon as he told her that he was moving that she wouldn't try long distance, and she said it was just casual for her. I reminded her how she said the plan was long distance and she acted like she didn't remember saying that, then when I kept giving details she said, "Maybe I was saying that that was his plan, I only wanted casual."

This fucked with my head. I don't understand this and the guy is also ugly. She said it was casual the first time they ever fucked and then became a relationship, and then said it was casual this time around too. I don't understand because I thought women make rules for Betas and break rules for Alphas. Also, she described him as a rebound when she was talking about why she fucked him in the first place.

I can't comprehend how she literally just says one thing, does the other, then SAYS the other like there's no contradiction. Words over actions yeah, but since when did they start literally admitting that their words don't match their actions without making an excuse?

So my questions are:

  1. Is she lying about wanting casual with him that time, maybe as a way to make herself seem like her actions were thought-out even though her actions were gross and contradictory to her previous words?

  2. If she did fuck this guy casually, why? Back in the day she made him wait a long time for a first date, then made him wait two more months for a second while fucking her ex in between and getting played by him before fucking ex #2. She just doesn't seem attracted to him yet she fucks him casually, which is confusing me because why would they fuck an ugly guy casually? Am I uglier than this guy and that's why she wouldn't fuck me casually?

It honestly seems like she chose this guy over me when it comes to casual, and also that she chose casual with him rather than trying to get a relationship with me when there was at least a glimmer of hope that she could have.

Edit: Also, I've seen people even on Reddit claim that ugly guys can't get casual and can only get relationships, so this makes me think she must have found him hot and makes me think I must be the ugly guy here. I don't think I'm ugly but what if I am and just don't know it?