I think I already know more or less what the answer to this post is, but I need an outsider to tell it to me with no bullshit because I can’t sort my thoughts about this on my own. This “case study” is just an example that illustrates my overall mindset and what goes wrong. Also for context, I’m attractive-looking but have very slight autistic tendencies, and in conversations I tend to hyper focus on being funny. If you think this post is stupid I understand but at the end of the day I think I could benefit from the answers.
So I jobbed at this event today with some total strangers, stole some cable binders because this other girl is always talking about wanting to try bdsm. One coworker for my shift was kinda eyeing me at the beginning, so when we happened to be next to each other during a quiet moment I did some casual calm conversation with her, just sticked to regular talking points and not trying to impress/be funny/make any moves. Maybe 2 minutes of boring conversation.
After that she didn’t give me any more IOIs and I withdrew and didn’t give her any more attention, except sometimes caught her looking but not staring. To me this meant not interested, because I’m used to women staring at me or smiling. In my mind, giving a glance and immediately looking away = she probably likes looking at me in secret but doesn’t actually want me to think I should make a move on her (because she has a boyfriend or whatever).
Then at some point I helped her out with something with one of my cable binders. I tell her I was actually gonna steal these so now we need to find more. She gave me this excited look and asked me what I need them for, then later asked again and I said “isn’t that obvious?” (not the best response, I mess up when I have to think quick like that).
Now she was much warmer towards me, and we mutually decided to work together for two hours or so, and this is when I really got going with my jokes. When I’m trying to be funny I can endlessly make jokes and even if they’re funny, I sometimes feel like the sheer number can put women off. But there were IOIs and moves on her part as well so I think I did ok.
Then shift ended and we just had to wait for a little before we could leave. We talked, I made jokes and at some point she started playing on her phone which I took as another sign of disinterest. I withdrew for a while and then came back, made more jokes, this time more bold ones: She asked if I’m working again tomorrow, I asked why do you wanna stop by and see me, etc. Did like 3 of these jokes and every time she laughed and said “sure” but no smile or glance or eye contact after the laugh which put me off.
Then we got to leave, she waited for me and it was just the two of us together (this was at 0am) even though she could easily have went with one of the others. Our ways split and I felt like she’s not going to give me the number, mostly due to the lack of eye contact during the conversations prior.
Lone_Ranger 2 6mo ago
Dude - this is overthink x 1000.
Just ask her out. Or don't.
You just need to speed things up - you need to be upping the number of attempts on goal. You are bogged down in over analysis.
When I was a younger guy, I would be attempting multiple shots on goal per evening. I had a lousy conversion rate, but I did great numbers.
Shagging is a numbers game. if you are on fire, you're only even going to be able to covert 1 in 10. So that just means you need to do 20 attempts per week, and you'll be swimming in pussy.
You should buy my course
How to quit making mouth noises (like a whiny little bitch) and start fucking like Chad. $4999 including all course materials.
Musicgoon78 2 6mo ago
I have zero clue what your question is or what we are supposed to surmise from this post. I can definitely tell you from reading this that you are overthinking just about everything. Stop making assumptions.
medstudentgerman2002 6mo ago
I described a typical situation of me failing to close a girl in a one-time-encounter type situation (it’s often this pattern of initial interest -> I engage -> signals become more mixed -> I decide to disengage).
Just was trying to hear from someone else what I need to be doing differently or thinking differently. “Stop making assumptions” is a start
Lionsmane8 6mo ago
You give too much importance to one interaction.
Multiply the interactions with many girls.
whytehorse2021 6mo ago
Start with London Day Game by Tom Torrero. After you master that you can work on more complicated game. http://niplav.site/doc/game/beginners_guide_to_daygame_torero_2018.pdf