Didnt start dating until 21 due to a mix of different circumstances including a long drug addiction and taboo from my family. Had a few failed attempts that I learned from (like one normally would in their teens) but now got the basics down I think. Am also good-looking so people assume I pull a lot (girl today told me "men with rizz like you could probably find at least one girl in this building to fuck them right here now").
Anyway this girl has a boyfriend, just 2 weeks ago made fun of me for pursuing her, I applied some tactics and now she's great. Sat an hour on a bench between studying sessions and she let me touch her tits a little but insisted on no kissing until she breaks up with her bf this weekend, I didnt push for a kiss that hard though, because honestly I was scared of messing up.
What worries me now. People always told me once your with the girl and horny everything will happen by itself. But even as I had my arm around her and stuff I still didnt feel any real urge to kiss her. Plus I dont know how the fuck I'm supposed to arrange my body parts to put myself in a good comfortable position for kissing. I dont want to look like an amateur, I didnt lie to this girl about anything but she assumes I'm a player and now I'm scared to disappoint (not because she'd reject me, but just for my ego)
Any advice at all? Am I supposed to touch her a bit more until I get in the mood to kiss her? Or just say fuck it and make myself do it anyway and see how it goes?
NeoSpartan 9mo ago
Why are you pursuing a girl with a bf if you are "good-looking so people assume I pull a lot (girl today told me "men with rizz like you could probably find at least one girl in this building to fuck them right here now")."
Seems very dumb, I find it hard to believe.
Also "I still didnt feel any real urge to kiss her" So you aren't even attracted to her.
I think you need to start approaching rather than let yourself be approached. 90% at least of girls never approach, ever. Those that do are usually weird or they are much less attractive than you and happened to figure out the Boomhaur/Quagmire method.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7FVmeJXwCY -The method. Works 5% of the time, sometimes.
Musicgoon78 2 9mo ago
I advocate in this case to "leap before you look". You're obviously nervous and stuck in your head. If you overthink it, there's a high probability that you will pussy out.
When I started dating I would just go for a kiss instead of waiting for the right moment. I had too many moments of regret where I didn't do anything. Leap before you look works.
Now, you need a bit of help. Don't worry about positioning your body, position hers. You are the man, you take the lead and put her where it's easier for you to kiss. That simple.
I'm going to guess that as a kissless guy, you aren't going to have to worry about being turned on after a kiss. My first kiss as a teenager was electric! I'm in my 40's my friend. I still love those first kisses. When my LTR and I had our first kiss I got wooded.
And my new plate that I'm fucking gave me a 3/4 chub after our first kiss. I made sure that she felt it. It's a compliment to women.
Your body will know what to do.
If you bust a nut too quick, don't worry. Rest about 10min and go for a second round. Take her to pound town playa!
medstudentgerman2002 9mo ago
Went for kiss and idk if I would have done it without your advice (probably yes) so thanks. First time was really weird and she stopped because “the position was uncomfortable” and talked for half an hour and then tried again. That was way better in terms of technique and she said you’re a good kisser but idk if she meant that or was just trying to see what I’d respond. Then did it again a third time and this time she was VERY enthusiastic and when she opened my pants I said alright we gotta stop (public place).
What worries me right now is that at no point I felt anything during the kissing. Wtf does this mean? Am I asexual or something? I found her very hot from just looking at her but touching and kissing doesnt do much.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 9mo ago
If you've beaten off too recently, or if your porn habits are too weird, just making out might not be enough for you. That seems to be a common issue among men your age.
Musicgoon78 2 9mo ago
I agree with Typo that you shouldn't empty the mayo cannon chamber before a date.
Now I suspect that you were waiting to feel something. You are making yourself a nervous wreck instead of enjoying the interaction.
About a decade ago I used to bartend in a sex club. New guys would go in and get so nervous that they would get ED and couldn't calm down enough to get to enjoy the night. This was extremely common.
It amazes me to talk to guys who have had sex before, but don't understand what good sex is. It's not a race to orgasm like most spergs think. It's a big experiment. It's all playing around. Enjoy feeling wanted and getting to share something intimate and dirty with a woman. It's a fun moment. You get to feel her skin against yours. You get to know her better than most people. This is a place where your storyline and hers intersect. This isn't a pass/fail test. Take it as far/fast/slow/intense/relaxed as you want to go. Try shit out until you both find shit you like doing together. This is an experiment you are doing with this girl.
medstudentgerman2002 9mo ago
Damn didn’t expect a response this good . Thanks
[deleted] 9mo ago
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First-light 9mo ago
A lot depends on how nervous you both actually get. Hopefully it just flow but it may be that you feel like a learner driver struggling with the clutch -"have I got her revved up enough to engage" versus "oh gosh that was a bit much too soon, I am going to stall her"
You lose nothing by going slowly, so long as you keep going. If you find yourself stalling, then its time to add more revs.
Just start slowly and let it build. Touch her on the arms and shoulders, hold hands, enjoy brushing over her curves. Hug her, then kiss her lightly to start and soon you will both get drawn into deeper kissing. If you take it this way, its less of a hill start where you have to engage the right amount of revs at the right time and more of a downhill start where momentum just builds.
Just enjoy touching her and holding her. Don't dive in on the erogenous zones. Going fast to erogenous zones is the most common mistake inexperienced young men make. We all watched the porn movies, we all want to get to the erogenous zones and we worry we won't handle them right, so our minds get all focused on them. Focus on the whole girl to start and her erogenous zones get ready for you themselves and any touch experienced or not will soon be welcome then. Focus on enjoying holding and touching her and you will feel when her body relaxes and she is ready for closer contact like kissing, then touching the erogenous zones. So long as you don't grab and squeeze like you are testing fruit in a supermarket but think how you like to be touched it can't really be wrong. Run your hands over your own body and you will see what feels good. She wants you to touch her. She ill enjoy it too. If she doesn't enjoy your touch, you are not doing these things wrong, she is just the wrong girl.
Even if you don't manage to do it all right, at least kiss her anyway by the end of the evening. My first kiss was a whole load of waiting for the right moment, too scared to touch much first. In the end I just told myself I had to do it and I did it badly and it was still fantastic. My lips tingled for hours, from one bad kiss. A job worth doing is best done properly but it is much, much better done badly than not at all.
redhawkes 2 9mo ago
Make her horny by touching her, then go for the kiss and then smash. Create sexual tension with eye contact and do a lot push pull, do just go all in. She'll be wet in no time. It's hard to miss fuck me eyes. Don't wait for a special moment to kiss her, it's all disney bullshit. Just don't rush in like a sperg. Read DiCarlo Escalation ladder if you're new. This hoe wants dick badly.
The earlier you start, the further you'll go. Don't be one of the blooptards who wait for the end of the date to kiss and go from 0 to 100 in a minute, just to get ghosted after. Escalate and make it your fault so she doesn't feel like a slut.
And the most important, create sexual frame from the start. Lead and don't ask her for permission. It's the fastest way to make her drier than Sahara. Whatever you do, don't give a fuck and don't overthink. It'll show in your behavior. Act like you've done it 100 times.
medstudentgerman2002 9mo ago
Did I mess up by not kissing her yesterday? I looked at her lips a few times and she was like “nooo stop it” but it did seem like she was going to keep insisting that we don’t kiss before she breaks up with her bf.
redhawkes 2 9mo ago
Probably not, it all depends on how much she's attracted to you. I had bitches texting me "we must fuck" after going out on a dates and do nothing sexual but teasing. Wasn't attracted to them and just being a shitlord.
Do not pay too much attention to what they say, she's alone with you, so make it your fault and make it just happen. She's already broken up with her bf, it's just an ASD.
Either way, bitches will forgive you for being a dick, but they won't forgive you for being a pussy.
MrSupreme 9mo ago
Oh I love kissing, but society and mostly women make a big fuss about it. They'd let you fuck em in the ass,they let you cum in her throat and inside her pussy, they let you fuck in every position but when it comes to kissing,they need comfort and they need to get to know you better. So yeah I suggest you don't make a big deal out of getting your kissing experience, save it for a girlfriend,not a plate, and preferably after a few months of relationship.
Musicgoon78 2 9mo ago
Dafuq are you talking about bro? Are you advocating start kissing her a few months into the relationship?
This is retarded.
I'm passionate AF with all my women. They say the way I kiss is very sexual and suggestive. When has society made a fuss about kissing and what type of women are you dating? When you say women are you talking about hookers?
I find this comment to be the opposite of reality.
MrSupreme 9mo ago
Reality is subjective, I'm from latinamerica so maybe that's why it seems retarded to you,cowboy. Passionate kissing is great, but in MY experience some of them are not really into it, as I said, they'd rather get fucked deep and getting creamed but theyve been kinda distant towards kissing and making out. Who the fuck cares how passionate you feel about it anyways.
Musicgoon78 2 9mo ago
It's sounds to me like you're arguing to argue kiddo. AWALT and women love kissing. My LTR is from Argentina. I have had girlfriends from Lima, Columbia and Brazil all latin America. All expats and all loved making out. Could be that you suck at kissing or could be that you're just doubling down on your assertation.
I think you're full of shit.
I'm sure that the vast ,sweeping majority of guys here and the total population of the world will disagree. Women do enjoy kissing.
Reality isn't subjective you bundle of sticks. Fire is hot, water is wet and girls enjoy kissing guys that they like.
MrSupreme 9mo ago
I never said women don't like kissing.Youre putting words in my mouth,you're qualifying yourself like hell towards me so you think I'm higher up or something. You're a mess buddy, keep fucking,that'll help
Musicgoon78 2 9mo ago
Cool story bro.
MrSupreme 9mo ago
You bet it is
Musicgoon78 2 9mo ago
Sounds good. You continue on with shitty advice. And I will continue on thinking you're a moron.
MrSupreme 9mo ago
I'll keep kicking ass, while you keep projecting your midlife crisis bullshit onto strangers on the internet. Ok papi
MrSupreme 9mo ago
Just quit bruh, enjoy the decline
Musicgoon78 2 9mo ago
Need the last word huh? ????
whytehorse2021 9mo ago
Read Sex God Method. Every guy here will swear by it. Also cum in her pussy and make babies. It's not hard, humans have been doing it for 100,000 years. Plan 45 mins for her to go from zero to "fuck me". Just keep escalating until your dick is inside her.