My Father just had a heart attack and is currently in the hospital and now Im conflicted on whether I should still move far away from home. He is entering his 70s and also has diabetes so this was a signal of how much older hes getting. I still currently live with my parents.

Over the years Ive been extremely depressed/suicidal only really coming out of it this last year thanks to traveling for work.

As I got older the more I realized how much my upbringing really negatively influenced me, as they started revealing more and more about my childhood experiences to me.

Both are foriegn and represented many toxic cultural upbringings and ideas. My mom is without a doubt a raging Narcissist with anger and impulse problems, that she won’t acknowledge while my Dad is extremely passive. She even started trying to argue with him while he was in the hospital. The doctors even acknowledging at one point how she was a piece of work.

Ive had a plan the last year to move across the country and now im hesitant. I’ve been trying to escape their grip my entire life. If I stayed in the house or move close I know my mom would guilt trip me every weekend to come help her with inconsequential tasks. Im in my mid 20s and finally ready to start my life.

To make matters worse my siblings are all far with my older brother who lives close planning to leave the country. I have no idea what ill do when my father dies, theres no way my mom wont demand immediate attention. She was a depressed alcoholic mess for yrs after her mother died. She sometimes even drinks with her sleeping pills . I don’t know what to do.