Lifting/bulking is a pretty core tenant of TRP it seems. Currently I'm reading No More Mr. Nice Guy where the author makes the distinction between engaging in what he calls "attachments," which are behaviors like trying to achieve a perfect body to impress others, and "taking care of yourself" such as exercising for health reasons. The Book of Pook describes how Pook put on 50 pounds of muscle and found he could get any woman he wanted. Pook mentions that adding the muscle was to "improve himself" and the by product was the women.
If the idea is that by putting on muscle Pook likes what he sees when he looks at himself in the mirror, then that seems like a perfectly sensible thing to pursue. I think that putting on muscle because he thinks that will get women would be a mistake. This is a very fine line. What is the TRP rationale for putting on muscle and not merely getting in shape through say swimming or running which would also be "improving yourself"? Is it that society expects men to be big or some other reason?
whytehorse2021 4mo ago
I never lifted to get big, just to be in shape. I didn't get girls because of it. My mistake. But oh well, it's serving me well into my late 40s when other body builders are dead.
Durek_The_Bald 4mo ago
I don't see anything wrong in doing something because you want to get laid. And besides, it's possible to have more than one thought in your head at the same time.
I lift and run because I like the high it gives me, because I want to remain healthy as I get older, and because I want to like what I see in the mirror. Also, I like my weed in the evenings, so it's good to offset the negative effects of that.
But I also lift and run because I want to maintain an enthusiastically filthy sex life with my wife. And for that to happen, we both need to be physically attracted to eachother.
I do it for my kids too. If I want my kids to grow up to be active, fit individuals, then I have to be fit and active too. Kids do what they see and hear you doing. If there's a mismatch between what you do, and what you tell them to do, they'll go with what you do before what you tell them to do.
Last, but not least, I lift and run because I want to have options in the event things don't work out with the wife, which simultaneously increases the odds of the status quo working out as well (passive dread).
So that's already 3 out of 4 reasons sort of being about other people. But at the same time, I can frame them all as being about me: "I want to get laid. I want to be happy as a father and husband. I want to be treated well in my relationships. I want to always have the necessary options to be able to next. I want my kids to live good lives".
In short, you can frame it however you want, and I don't really see the value in overthinking that whole "doing it for me Vs. doing it for other people" thing (since they aren't mutually exclusive). In general, I'd say the things women expect of you - and which you therefore might want to do "because of women" - are also things that are good for you on a more personal level. You know, stuff like being fit, and having a life.
First-light 4mo ago
Personally I don't get the getting big thing. I wouldn't do it for myself and I wouldn't do it for women either. I do get that it is OK to have mixed reasons and a bit of something to please women is OK so long as its not losing yourself in being the unpaid actor in their fantasy not the driver in your life -defining yourself by whether or not you get laid a lot at the cost of improving yourself.
I think getting big has got its drawbacks. Not everyone can bulk up past a certain point. Body builders talk about the best guys having good genes and good methods. Bulk without utility seems a bit unnecessary to me. Bulk at the expense of utility seems a bad choice to me. I feel that many of the guys on PEDs are risking their health and fertility for something that they may feel is worth it subjectively but which objectively to me looks not worth it.
That said I do own a set of free weights and I do use them once or twice a week to strength train, hoping to add minimal bulk. I do run 3 times a week training more like an athlete than a hobby runner. I also do body weight exercises when I have a bit of time in the day and I swim once a week too with a speed component in my session. I do a physical job and have physical hobbies. So I not only believe in trying to max out my physical capacity but I also actually need it in my job at my age. Strength training has been magic in helping me to work comfortably as I have aged in a career where (at least when I joined, not sure if I have seen any stats since) the average age of stopping -usually from overuse injury- was 32.
To me RP is a world view, not a PUA tool. Self improvement mentally and physically should be on every man's to do list. I think lifting is a good thing to have in the mix of physical training but for me it is not the special thing. I am skinny by nature though, will never be super strong and so why chase that when I can be better at other things? For a big guy I would totally get wanting to be a throwing athlete, powerlifter, strong man or just be a bit of a big beast. I could also understand a man with a desk job getting into lifting as part of a fitness regimen and choosing hypertrophy over utility as his main aim because the ladies liked it and he didn't need physical utility in his job anyway.
Honestly I doubt that great bulk is attractive to the majority of women. A strong defined body yes but great bulk only catches the eye in a very surface way -probably makes you stand out for one night stands. A sensible girl will realise that in a LTR with a proper body builder she will by a gym widow, have to live with some extremes of diet and may need to live with the stress of a man who gets hormonal on and off cycle, who may have damaged fertility.
So I can't see a RP rationale for putting muscle per se. Physical improvement yes that is RP I think. A man has to be strong to face a world in which very few have his back and much is expected of him from life and from women (who also want evidence of good genes to reproduce). Lifting tends to be some part of most serous athletes' training these days for good reason. Beyond that its a personal preference.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 4mo ago
I'm old, been lifting since high school days. Natty, never on stuff, most in gym think I am on stuff.
I think most of the guys who "get big", do it for themselves, ego. Not necessarily for women, they are trying to be bigger , stronger, than the "other guy" in the gym or that they see on the street.
I don't judge that, don't care, it's not for me. I'm big enough for me, in shape, especially for my age, don't even get close to max on lifts as at my age, you are gonna eventually hurt/break something. I see it all the time. So, now it's more reps, and sets.
In terms of women. Look, a small set of women are really really into the body builders.
Most women, what they find hot (including ONS, not just LTR), is a guy who's (bigger than them, lean and muscular, has definition). Now, the bulkier guys, typically the bigger women like them, as women like to have their men make them feel small. In most cases. I mean look around, not at old married people, but with newer couples, if the woman not small, but bulky or heavy, the guy she's with is usually a big burly guy, not a tall lean guy.
So, some women like the swimmer body, some like the football body and a small subset are really really into the body builder frames, which are normally for ONS. Just general observation.