If you think this is a troll post don't reply and move on.
I have very good genetics and get a lot of attention from women just based on my looks. Now recently I have realized there are 2 pretty big drawbacks to this that make it "hard" for me to meet new women:
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Women will flirt with me just for attention, like staring smiling etc. even if they are in a relationship and not willing to actually cheat/give me their number. I know to a degree this is normal but 95% of attractive women will give me some kind of IOI (at the very minimum repeated looks, but usually stares or smiles) and it's impossible for me to tell for sure which ones are actually interested without approaching and asking them directly if they have a boyfriend/want to give me their number. This isn't a problem when doing real cold approaches, getting rejected is fine, but I'm trying to find relationship material in med school where people know each other so I want to limit the amount of approaches I do. I approached 5 at school so far and 3 had a boyfriend, 1 was on a break and got back with her bf a few days later, and 1 was single.
- When I dont get that level of attention I'm fucked because I dont know what to do. When a girl gives me repeated glances but wont show a clear signal like eye contact or smiling, I assume shes not interested and only checking me out because I look good. Normally this isn't a problem because enough other girls give me the attention I need but I'm wondering if I'm missing out, if the girls who aren't super flirty might actually be more worthwhile? Should I stop filtering these girls out?
Lionsmane8 1mo ago
The only way to find out if a girl is interested or not is by talking to her.
Regardless of IOIs.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2mo ago
So you don't want to do too many approaches but want to increase your chances of meeting a preferred partner and also think women will make moves in public to some guy they don't know
Good luck with that. Sounds like you lack some social acumen, misunderstand or ignore social norms expectations, probably have underdeveloped social skills and or are too stubborn in your fixated expectations to do anything with them, and to a degree, probably "don't get it" in your understanding as a man
Again, good luck with that.
All this was to me was a wall of text saying how you won the lottery but refuse to take any sufficient actions with it. Put down the silver spoon and work for it, this was plain aggravating to read. Put in the work if you want results.
Musicgoon78 1 2mo ago
My goodness princess. Aren't we entitled now?
"Here's your poosay on a platter your highness".
Spend some time approaching or simply conversing with the plebs. Your humblebrag is cringey.
ExConvictNowMillionaire 2mo ago
Just socialize with them man & game them in a subtle matter over a longer time frame. No need to go for the number right away if you're with them in school/see them often anyway
Maturin_nj 2mo ago
You sound like you've been indoctrinated by the system. In 10 years, Dr will be plastered across you're forehead in a bold red block letter tattoo, and you won't have an original idea for the remainder of your life. But make sure you run out and buy that Mercedes.
JamesSkepp Moderator 2mo ago
You're the type of the guy I steal girls from in the field. Tall, handsome, jacked, draws attention. Can't do anything else besides being hot. Can't talk, can't game, can't pass a basic shittest, can't handle objection, can't handle mama hen, can't handle a random AMOG, not to mention a PUA. Used to end expects to be liked and get girls just b/c he's hot.
You should learn game by doing more cold approaches (not looking for girls that give IOIs), you should be doing 5 approaches per night as a warmup, not a target, considering what your looks make you capable of, you should earn game from start to finish (from opening to sex), you should go for the girls that don't like you (b/c you won't learn on girls who already want you, at least it will be very slowed down process).
medstudentgerman2002 2mo ago
Great reply and I will base my behavior on this post. Thanks
Lone_Ranger 2 2mo ago
"I get a lot of attention"
Man, you sound like a woman. The way you talk, are you sure you're not a woman? This is all about the validation and attention you are getting.
And right there in the middle, you lay down your excuse for your spergy cop out behaviour:
", but I'm trying to find relationship material in med school where people know each other so I want to limit the amount of approaches I do. "
Read that again boys - he thinks that having a reputation as a playa is going to limit his chances of getting an LTR.
OP should probably just transition right now, because he already has a female brain. It would be easier to simply cut off your junk and get some fake tiddies. Being in med school, he probably can find someone to do if for a good deal.
medstudentgerman2002 2mo ago
After reading your reply and a few others and thinking about it, I agree. I will approach more girls at school and report back to you in a week for accountability if you dont mind.
Lone_Ranger 2 2mo ago
sure - go ahead. If I were you, I would spend a good bit of time reading the sidebar.
I would approach it like this: everything that you think you know about women and inter gender relations is wrong. Most of what you believe is the not just wrong, its opposite. I can hear this in the way that you write - for example, you think that having a 'bad reputation is going to prevent you from getting an LTR. The opposite is true - women are only interested in 'charming' guys...and by charming, they mean chad (selfish, egotistical, emotionally immature and above all...playas).
You have lots to learn. You need to shake off your blue pilled programming.
The other thing you must learn is this: THE HARDEST THINGS TO UNDERSTAND ARE THOSE THINGS THAT MAKE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE.
It makes no sense at all that women are only interested in playas that treat them like shit. It makes no sense that men that are suitable for them gives them the dry panties. No sense at all. Just because something makes no sense, people think it can't be true. It's impossible to help those kinds of people.
medstudentgerman2002 2mo ago
I've been reading the sidebar and other TRP content on and off since I was 14. Tbh for me at the time it probably did more damage than good because I was too young and inexperienced to make use of that info properly, should have just been blue pilled and done more and learned from mistakes. Though at the end of the day I agree TRP fundamentals are important and should be followed.
About the "bad" reputation thing, I agree and I have already approached some women at my school, all but 1-2 had a bf but I remained friends with them and prob have a reputation already for talking to pretty girls. What I dont want is to get to the point where I approach a girl and she knows that I already approached 2 of her friends or something. Maybe even that reputation is good, but it's also irreversible and I think for sure some types of girls will be put off by it.
Attracting women isn't really the bottleneck for me, the bottleneck is establishing contact with the ones I want, avoiding misunderstandings, getting the balls to approach them (always a struggle), etc. If a girl is already into me I can just bring a total boring line like "hey I saw you and like your style and was wondering if I could get your number", even with a shaky voice, and still succeed. And theres an abundance of girls that are already into me.
Anyway all of this are just details, the most important part is that I start approaching again. I spend every day at the library and got 2 targets there, one of them black hair very interested and basically just waiting for me to approach, the other one a blonde was giving me IOIs for a while but kinda stopped but I want to approach someone with no IOIs so my goal is to approach both of these in the next week or so. I always have a hard time with this because I get scared last second. It's easier when I just got rejected or have no girls to talk to because then I get so frustrated I push through my fear lol.
Lone_Ranger 2 2mo ago
You still are not understanding how women work if you think that "some types of girls will be put off by it."
NO women are put off by chadliness and guys that smash. Some women like blond guys, some women like dark haired guys. Some women like white guys, some women like black men. There are however, somethings that ALL women want, and there is NO variety in their desires:
They all want tall, rich, successful, attractive, muscular guys that smash lots of chicks.
If you think that 'some' women will be put off by the fact of a guy being a known womaniser, then I can confidently tell that you have never been a known womaniser. Once you have the reputation as a man slut, the women will be pestering you for sex. The best thing you can do at uni is get a 'bad reputation'. There is no such thing as a 'bad reputation' for a man. The only bad reputation a man can have is as a simp / orbiter / incel.
I can also tell that you are way off course on another subject - you are clearly a number hunter. You described your approach style as
" "hey I saw you and like your style and was wondering if I could get your number"
This is pulling suicide. You will get loads of numbers, but zero sex. Never ask a girl for a number. She may try to give it to you, but the power move is to turn it town. Tell her you don't have a phone (as a joke). Tell her 'Why do I need your number? I have you right here, right now'.
You should never be number hunting, you should be pussy hunting. Asking for a number is asking to become an orbiter, one of her digital simps. When you approach, it should be with the intention of turning the interaction into an adventure. Not a texting match. 90% of texting matches never turn into sex. Because the more you text, the less interested they become in you. While you are texting her war and peace, she is getting railed by chad.
medstudentgerman2002 2mo ago
I'm not trying to turn it into a texting match. I just fucking hate approaching women because of nervousness and most of the time want to keep my line as simple as possible because that makes it easier to pull myself together and approach. I'll approach, get their number, text a little bit (no long conversations, I text girls less than any other guy I know), when I see her again in person I can spit some more game to my fullest ability because I'll be less nervous than on the initial approach. Usually I'll ask for some 1on1 time or a date by the 2nd conversation at the latest.
I know it's not ideal but I usually cant just spit game at a complete stranger right from the get go when I'm not in the mood, it's not realistic right now at my level. Only exception is if I just start talking to her for fun, like when partying or when I make a situational joke in the elevator just to get a laugh and then build from there. But if I'm approaching with an intention, I get nervous and so I try to keep things simple to calm myself down a bit.
Lone_Ranger 2 2mo ago
Listen my dude, 'approaching with intention' is exactly what is making you nervous. Just relax and talk to everyone, be more social.
And quit being a number hunter.
Stop texting, start smashing.
medstudentgerman2002 1mo ago
So, I just approached the black hair girl. For context, she sits in the library right next to a bookshelf where I got my textbook every day for a while. At first we ignored each other, slowly escalated to eye contact and smiling, then I made some dumb comment one time, we‘d say hi to each other etc. so basically for 2 weeks now it was very overdue to approach her. I approached her, some small talk, asked for number and she says she “wanted to” but has a bf and thanks. This exact sequence of events happened one time with another girl but that one told me she thinks I’m pretty after she told me she has a bf.
This problem is the entire reason I made this post. When 80% of the girls I approach, even if they’ve consistently showed interest before, have a boyfriend it makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong. Some of them could be lying, maybe I’m just very off putting on the approach but I think that’s unlikely. In the majority of cases I was able to confirm they have a bf and if I was that off putting there would be more signs.
What I did gain from approaching though, is I shook off some of my fear. My heart rate was at like 140 before the approach but once I started talking habit kicked in and I actually did pretty well. What I’ve learned from this is that it doesn’t matter how nervous I am before the approach, because I’ll usually calm down during it.
Lone_Ranger 2 1mo ago
well, it sounds like you are doing at least some of the right things.
I would still question whether you are pivoting to number hunting far too quickly. Just quit with the number hunting. Do your approach, make it casual, keep chatting. It's 100% possible (I would say easy) to smash chicks that 'have a boyfriend'. I would say maybe 30% of the women that I have had sex with were either married or had a boyfriend. Women with boyfriends are the best possible plates - they are less needy, use up less of your time and you can meet them for sex only interactions.
Never quit an approach or interaction just because a woman says 'I have a boyfriend' - I just used to reply 'so do I!' and we'd laugh about it and carry one. You can also say - sure, but that doesn't mean you can't have friends?' or 'Sure - but its still legal to talk to other people!?'
You are putting too much pressure on yourself and the situation. Approach more women, and do it with lower expectations, stop asking for numbers and simply let the convo flow. You will see better results for sure. You will also get better approaches - you will 'normalise' the fact of approaching and talking. It will become like going into a cafe and asking for a cup of coffee.
"Plausible deniability" is a good tactic - your approach should be so casual and mild that it doesn't even feel like an approach. It should be fun for you, and esp for her. hours later, when she is in your bed, with her legs open wide and your cock inside her, she will wonder 'what came over her' - how did this happen?
The boiling frog is the analogy is the answer. You just keep up the charm and brought her on an adventure.
ObliviousDuck 2mo ago
Nah. That's not how it works. You are not the beholder of what is or isn't acceptable content in a community. You are the one who should fuck off if you can't take the heat.
You are not special. This is how it goes for everybody. You never know if a woman is truly interested unless you actually try to escalate. Even then, her attraction for you can flip in a second for any stupid reason.
This is why it is so important to polarize and escalate as much as is acceptable in the current situation.
Why the fuck would she look at you for any other reason than your looks? Because of your incredible personality? Or do you believe a woman is already planning her wedding with a perfect stranger just by glancing at him for a second?
Let's get real here. This whole post is a big rationalisation of your real problem: You have no game. You look good, women are sending you non stop IOIs, eye fucking you, even approaching you, but I bet as soon as you open your mouth they see how much of a validation seeking bitch you are and gone are the tingles, their vagina instantly dry up. And here you are complaining: "tHeY OnLy sEeK vALiDaTiOn" instead of realising, your inner game is the problem.
Your looks made you complacent. You can pull girls in a perfect storm of circumstances but it's never the one you want because those you want lose interest as soon as they get to know you.
That LTR material HB8 won't stick with you just for your looks, so stop using that as a crutch and learn to become a man they want to keep by doing the real work.
medstudentgerman2002 2mo ago
Some eye opening replies here and honestly theres no point in analyzing my situation further, at the end of the day what I said was just a cop out as you said. But just to clarify:
By "not interested but checking me out for my looks" I mean girls who check me out because they cant help themselves, but really aren't interested due to being in a relationship. My problem isn't when single women are interested me for my looks, the problem is the women in relationships who will "eye fuck" me just for validation, and there is no way to tell them apart from women who are actually available. I only viewed this as a problem is because I did start approaching a few women and got frustrated because the vast majority weren't single and I gave up for the most part except for pre-vetted girls where I was sure they're single. After posting here and reading the replies I now realize this was a cop out and will approach more frequently again despite this.
whytehorse2021 2mo ago
I had this same problem in Asia. The highest measure of looks for them is light skin and I'm Caucasian. Next is height and I'm about 8" taller than the average man. Next is exotic blue eyes. So I go from average in the USA to a 8 in Asia. When they find out I'm American they automatically think I'm rich so more like a 9.
What you're suffering from is choice paralysis. I had way too many choices. I thought the locals must all be gay because there were hotties everywhere with no man. I was like a kid in a candy store.
At the end of the day I had to pick one. So what I'd do is ask myself if I'd stick my dick in her and if the answer is yes then I'd approach. Sometimes they go home with me and fuck with just a "Hey, you wanna get with me?". Sometimes they reject me because they know I have too many options and think I will pump/dump them.
For relationship material chicks you might be better off friend-zoning them first. Then you'll know who's a hoe and who's a housewife. You can also meet friends of friends. Women love playing match-maker. Also female friends will help calibrate you to being around women. Just treat them the same as you treat guys. No simping, no orbiting. If she's got a boyfriend you're fucking other women.
joyboy 2mo ago
My man staring isn’t flirting… thats called normal human behavior. People look at things, maybe you seemed familiar. Smiling in passing is also normal and friendly. If that was considered flirting I get flirted with every time i leave the house. The only legitimate IOI is when they approach you and ask for your contact information