I tend to have this too. People assume some unwritten power relation over me. When I stand up the conflict gets over hot. I can handle violence, fighting sports half my life - just feel surprised of people getting uncomfortable as fast as I treat them equally same as they treat me.

Learn this phrase: "What's in it for me?"

No is a complete sentence. Learn to say No whenever you feel it necessary and stop caring if they don't like you anymore.

You can also say "You're being incredibly arrogant/abrasive. What's the matter with you?" Especially if you're in a room full of peoppe.

1 - ok.... be respectful..... but "nice" has issues

2 - this sounds like they are disrespecting you. you are being too nice, you are coming across like a provider / fixer / slave for them. maintain boundaries and don't do shit for people until they prove that don't see you as a slave. one way is to make them wait and/or pay for anything you do so that you maintain control. Maintaining control over your productivity is the basic way to fix this.

3 - right. You start with "I will do stuff for you". They ask for that stuff. They are upset you won't do it.

You need to maintain status and control FROM THE START.

some options (could be all of them):

1) you live in america - an individualistic gynocentric society, as opposed to various other countries that are collectivist androcentric societies. everybody's number one concern here is themselves, and if your number 1 priority is not them then they're baffled and antagonized.

2) you're surrounded by nasty people.

3) you're hypersensitive to bitchy attitudes. humans tend to notice negative things more than positive ones, but that's something that you can consciously take your focus off (stoicism).

p.s. androcentric communities, counter-intuitive to the "competitive" nature of males, actually value the fellow man's well being more than in gynocentric communities, which value self-benefit above all else.

you are surrounded by narcissists, or at least tend to gravitate towards them, that's what. Entitlement is one of the obvious traits. Recognize the behaviors of narcissists, and stay away from them

Check its a real pattern and not your personal perception. If it is a real pattern, it is because you really are making them feel you are going to do something nice for them and then disappointing them.

Genuinely we all feel a bit out of sorts when we are denied something we feel we were promised or at least led to think we would be given. Even if we have no actual right to the thing, we are still pissed off if we counted it as ours and then lost it. Its human nature. Do they think you owe them i return for something? Are you coming on too compliant and offering too much then realising you need to pull yourself back? Are you being very hard line and not giving an inch more than you need to? Its complex and will needs close objective examination. That is hard for you and pretty much impossible for us filtering reality only through your perception.

I suspect that unless its a run of bad luck (and randomly you can get a run of bad interactions) it has something to do with your reading of social situations either in your perception of bitchiness or your understanding of m=normal social obligation in non close relationships.

Go steady and look critically at situations, maybe write nots of your experiences to read back in a bunch later to see if any constants can be found.

One thing that has helped me is to realize that everyone has their own self-interest at heart. So you are only valued so far as you serve other people's self-interest. The old lady neighbor wants to get mounted by a young stud. First she tries to get you talking to her, then she has you over to help with whatever gets you into her house, then you pump her full of cum. She then gets bitchy when that doesn't happen.

The apartment maintenance guy wants a male tenant that takes care of his own problems because he's sick of women that call every time a screw is loose or a light bulb goes out.

Does that make sense? Your value is defined by what you provide to others, and their value is defined by what they provide to you. Ideally people provide equal value to each other.

Depends on what the thing is. You cannot maintain a friendship with someone and continually deny invitations and favors. Just do them unless you have a true reason not to. Being social is always better than watching the “next episode” or compulsively gymcelling

Thanks for the good insights fellas, lots to think about.

I'm going to start by trying to be more aggressive/assertive in dealing with such people, to see if they were getting too comfortable with me.