Met HB8 (she works 2 jobs, another part time) went on a date and kiss closed. I texted her on Thursday trying to setup another date for Friday. She was working until 6pm Friday but on Thursday she replied to my invite "Let me check tomorrow(Friday) and see how exhausted I am, but I will do that" (flake setup). I replied "No problem". Friday roles round and she text back past any potential setup time at 9ish in the evening "Sorry I got so exhausted from work"
I haven't responded yet. Do I just continue to ignore and see if she double texts or try reengaging in like 2 weeks to setup plans? Alternatively I could reply "No worries, another time" then just soft next till she offers a schedule.
In the meantime, I'm just spinning other plates so I'm not really bothered, I just like responding to situations optimally.
[deleted] 1y ago
[--removed--]
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
"No worries" is fine. Don't say "another time", this is offering her security in exchange for her flakiness. You need to instill fear of loss, which doesn't happen if you try to hold onto her.
Good plan and good attitude.
Responses like "no problem" and "no worries" and "all good" or even "that's a shame" are all good. Don't offer another time until that time is actually being offered.
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 1y ago
why are you wasting your time and resources actually taking a pump and dump on a date
TheoC11 1y ago
I haven't slept with this one yet, 1 date so far which ended in kiss close. Date as in grabbing 1 or 2 drinks then trying to escalate back to one of our places. Not an actual date I suppose.
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 1y ago
Wait for a full week to pass before hitting her up for another “date”
AbusiveFather1 1y ago
and definitely don't be apologetic to her. odds are you're not her top choice
wswZtyqNGQ 1y ago
This happened to me once. I got a very late excuse on the flake. I felt something was off so I texted back that I wasn't free anymore but asked for her to make it up to me by going out the next night. She didn't respond but declined the next afternoon.
I later realized that she got rejected by all the guys she wanted to go out with and that I was all the way down on the bottom of her list. It was a good indicator of her seeing me as a beta backup plan. I'm rather glad that my gut was well calibrated on that one.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 1y ago
Look, you've actually met her in person, went on a date,etc.
(If she's in to you, there's no doubt about it). She will make time for you if she's interested.
Some girls will test you, see if you will chase them,etc. But if you do, she has the control, not you. You would be a beta/provider in her eyes from that point forward.
So, the answer is, no investment here.